Want To
by itzalliballi
Summary: The four best friends decided to go on a road trip before starting the rest of their lives after they graduate. What happens will change their lives as they know it forever. MD, Maddison This is a song fic for Want To by Sugarland. COMPLETE!
1. Graduation

**Alright, I know the LAST thing I need to do is start a new story, but this one has been stuck in my head for awhile, and I couldn't get it out. So please let me know what you think! **

"Welcome to the graduation ceremony for Saratoga's class of 2006!" Mr. Thompson, the school's principle, greeted the large crowd with a professional and generic smile. They were by far the worst senior class he'd been in charge of in his career. They loved to push the limits of every rule, making it close to impossible to punish them, but just as close to impossible for them to get away with their actions with no consequences. He was a man who lived the rules, and they thoroughly enjoyed watching him squirm everyday. This was one of the happiest days of his career.

A loud cheer roared throughout the football stadium in the humid summer morning as the 273 soon-to-be graduates, as well as thier friends and family, clapped their hands and yelled pleasantries into the smothering air. The rest of his speech went unheard by the anxious teenagers that were waiting impatiently to walk across the center of the stage and recieve their dipolomas, that stated that they attended enough classes at Saratoga Central High School to be wearing a cap and gown at this ceremony.

Saratoga was a small town in the southern part of Georgia that most had never heard of. It wasn't like most small towns that was mainly middle class with the occasional extreme cases in the community. In fact, the middle class was practically obsolete in Saratoga. There was the unearthly rich, mostly inheritance money, and then the poor that barely even made it by even with the help of welfare. Since most had lived there their whole lives, it was practically standard who was friends with who, and why.

Meredith Grey's life revolved around four people. Her three best friends, and her boyfriend of two years. Like her, they were extremely wealthy, except for Addi. The Montgomerys were wealthy untill Addison's father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and died in Addison's freshman year of high school. Their fortune was spent on home care for him. After that, Addison cut ties with most people that weren't neccesary. Lucky for her three best friends, she considered them neccesary. She refused to be close to anyone else for fear of losing them suddenly, or even worse, painfully. Despite her lack of money, she still stayed around the same party crowd. She was even voted Homecoming Queen this past year, but it was hard to be happy for a pity win. Atleast that's what she told herself, despite her friend's best attempts to convince her otherwise. She wasn't exactly known for her glamour, atleast not anymore. She probably would've ditched the dance all together if Mark didn't insist on going. He was up for HC King, but he lost to Josh, Meredith's boyfriend. Needless to say, he rubbed being Prom King in Josh's face for weeks. But Addi wasn't alone in her detatched attitude towards life. Her and Meredith had spent the last four years avoiding anything outside their four friends and outside these school grounds. Outside of Derek, Mark, each other, and high school, they didn't know who they were, and they were scared to find out. Then of course there was Meredith's boyfriend, Josh Harrison. Meredith refused to break it off, despite her friend's pleas to do so. None of them liked him, but she did, atleast most of the time. Her mom had yet to meet him. She was always in Atlanta for work, living and breathing in the OR. Once Meredith turned 12, Ellis just bought another hourse in Atlanta to avoid the four and a half hour drive 'home' for one, maybe two nights of rest. She made sure to leave enough money in the bank to last Meredith untill she came back, and a fax number for anything she needed to be signed. A number Meredith had never actually used. She had no idea what her mother's signature looked like, but it didn't matter because neither did her teachers. No one cared, besides most in the town had never even met her mother.

The Valedvictorian was on the stage at the podium when Mark began to grow restless sitting down. He was sitting beside Derek, and directly behind Addison, and they both actually seemed interested in what the poor nervous guy was saying, as if they could actually understand him through his heavy breathing and stuttering. He scanned the rows untill he found Meredith several rows in front of him. "Psst Mer!" Mark whispered rather loudly between clenched teeth to get her attention, only to recieve a slap on his arm and a glare from Addison. He gave her a cocky smirk and blew her a kiss with his lips before winking at her, causing her to blush. They'd been on several dates throughout high school, and always went to formals together, but Addison knew he didn't want to be tied down, or atleast he thought that was the reason. She never pushed anything. He'd seemed to have built up a reputation as a heartbreaker in Saratoga, to put it nicely. She returned his grin before turning back around and helped him get Mer's attention. She hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Meredith that day since she'd been trying to keep Mark from pulling any pranks. She wasn't sure if she was successful yet or not. Probably not. After several failed attempts by Mark and Addison to get her attention, Derek decided to join in as well. He was an S after all, he had time to goof off. He let out a small, but audible, whistle that immediately got her attention. He'd told her before the ceremony began that he was going to whistle if he got really nervous, and was going to bolt, but he wasn't planning on telling them that. That could be their little secret.

She quickly turned around and found him almost instantly, along with her two other best friends, and smiled. It wasn't fair they all got to sit next to each other. Given, she was next to Josh, but that didn't calm her nerves nearly as much as they would. They were going to break up soon, whether they admitted it or not. He was moving to New York for college, and she was going to University of Georgia with Mark. He'd somehow talked her into going there instead of Duke as she'd planned. She offered a small wave and wink trying to silently calm Derek's theoretical nerves before turning back around towards the stage. Once she wasn't looking anymore, Addison and Mark both glanced towards Derek, expecting an explanation. He only shrugged his shoulders with indifference and watched as Meredith's row stood up to go accept the plaque. He wanted to cry, but of course he didn't. He was going to lose her, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Meredith had practically been attached to his hip since they were five, after her dad left. Then even more so when Ellis all but moved to Atlanta. No one else knew it, but he always left his window open for her when Mark wasn't sleeping over. He hated her being alone, probably even more than she did. She didn't come much anymore, unless there was a bad storm or something. He assumed it was partly due to the heavy partying she'd gotten accustomed to on the weekends, but it was mostly because of Josh. He'd started gettin suspicious of their relationship, and she reluctantly stopped most of the nightly visits. Now, instead of coming over, she called him. Needless to say, he'd practically become an insomniac. He absolutely hated that he didn't get to hold her much anymore, but there wasn't really anything he could do except take what he could get.

**_I packed a cooler_**

Mark's graduation party was all most students had talked about for weeks, except the four people who actually had to go. Mark's parents weren't as family-oriented as Derek's, but they did insist on celebrating big events in their only son's life. They'd thrown a party for almost every occasion worth celebrating, and graduation was no different. Of course, they were nowhere to be found once the party started. The four friends were of the select few still awake when the sun came up the next morning. Each of them clearly still reeling fromt he massive intake of tequilla and vodka.

"We should celebrate!" Mark sat up on his bed that he was sharing comfortably with Addison to look down on the floor where Meredith and Derek were sharing a sleeping bag. The same sleeping situation they found themselves in everytime Mark had a party.

"Sloane, that's what we've been doing for the last twenty four hours! Go to sleep!" Meredith mumbled into Derek's arm that was acting as her pillow since Mark was a pillow hog.

"No Grey, silly! I mean just the four of us! We should do something fun. Something new!"

"Mark!" Addison laughed, exhaustion clear in her slow movements as she covered her eyes, blocking out any traces of sunlight begging to creep into the room. Once her eyes were satisfied with the darkness, she removed her arm and pulled Mark back down so that they were eye level, forcing herself, reluctantly, to open her eyes to meet his piercing gaze. "It's time to sleep, babe. Alright? We can talk about this tomorrow!" she smiled at him and placed her finger on his lips to silence any response. "Goodnight hun." He nodded in defeat before rolling onto his side to pout. The room fell silent, which only made Mark want to talk more. He wasn't ready to sleep yet.

"Roadtrip!" he exclaimed happily, immediately springing back up to a sitting position as he allowed his imagination to run wild with possibilities. "We can go to the beach! Come on guys!" he pleads helplessly to his friends, letting his stubborn attitude get in the way of their sleeping mandates.

"Whatever you want, buddy! Tomorrow. Alright? We'll figure it all out tomorrow!" Derek responded with the only thing he could to get Mark to stop talking and go to sleep. Once he got going on an idea, he could talk, more like ramble, for hours. It was nearly impossible to get him to stop, and Derek was too sleepy to try.

Mark's face lit up with excitement as he laid back down facing his white wall. It was all he could do not to get up and pack right then. He knew his friends would kill him if he did though, so he forcefully shut his eyes as tight as he could, and buried his head into the pillow untill he felt the matress through the fabric, praying for sleep to come soon so he could wake up and get everything together.

**Please Review!!!!!! **


	2. Celebration

_**and a change of clothes**_

Several hours later, but not enough for Mark's friends, Mark was up and demanding they go get some breakfast.

"Mark! I told you I'm suppose to go to that job interview." Addison sat up groggily, balancing herself with her two hands placed firmly on both sides of her, even though it didn't help much since Mark owned a feather bed.

"Well Addi, you're going to have to reschedule that since we are going on a roadtrip!" Mark commented trying to hide atleast some of the excitement that was building up inside of him.

All three grumbled slightly at the realization that he actually remembered the roadtrip. They were all hoping that it was the vodka talking, apparently not. Addison stood up from her side of the bed and slid on a pair of jeans under Mark's large t-shirt he'd lent her to sleep in, before walking over to the other side of the bed and placed her hands on his shoulders firmly. "Mark, babe, listen to me. Alright?" After recieving a nod, and an almost piercing gaze into her eyes, Addison couldn't help but smile at how excited he was about it. It broke her heart to tell him no, but there was no way she could just jump up and go on a roadtrip.She had to get a job to help her mom out with some of the bills that'd piled up. "Babe, I can't go. I have to get a job. My mom.. she, she needs help." Addison spoke softly, disappointment evident that she was going to be left there without her lifelines.

"Aw come on Addi, you can't wait two weeks to get a job?" Mark pouted as he placed his hands idly on her hips. Trying to physically urge her to go. He could practically see her defenses all entirely as he stuck out his lower lip a little more. He hated that she had to work just to help her mom, but there wasn't much he could do. His parents had offered her mom money countless times, and she always refused to take it. Too much pride. All he could do was demand to pay for Addi when they went out, and he did.

Addison forced herself to look away from him and down at her other two friends who were now sitting up waiting for her response. It was obvious that they'd both somehow become excited about the trip since it was initially put on the table. She smiled at them before turning back to Mark who'd tightened his grip on her waist, confirming that he would not accept a no for an answer, also that he wouldn't go without her. "Fine! two weeks, Sloane! Then work will become my life and you will have to find someone else to torture with your wild adventures!" she smirked at him before he pulled her body closer to him, engulfing her small frame into a tight embrace.

"Thanks Addi." he whispered into her ear before placing a small kiss on her forehead. Addison's arms had found their way around his neck in the embrace, and she was reluctant to let go. He always made her feel so safe, but she was certain that he didn't see her the way she saw him. Atleast not enough. After all but forcing herself to release him, she clapped her hands once in finality.

"Alright. So Breakfast then packing?" Addison asked with a smile, but she was dreading telling her mom about the trip. Her mom would insist that she pay her share of stuff, even though Mark had insisted long ago that she had nothing to worry about. She always felt guilty about it though. She was determined to pay him back every scent when she was older. Even though she'd long ago lost track of the number, which made her stomach churn at the thought of it.

"Breakfast sounds good!" Meredith smiled as she removed herself from the sleeping bag, after nudging Derek in the shoulder and running a hand through his morning hair with a laugh. "Nice Derek. That's hot, Derek. Seriously." she smiled at him before standing up and walking to the corner of the room where she'd placed a change of clothes the night before.

"Waffle House?" Derek asked, already knowing the answer. It was one of only two places in Saratoga that served breakfast after 11, and they all refused to eat at the other. Cleaning was not their specialty.

Meredith pouted slightly as she walked back over to her friends. "Aw come on guys, can't we have like Pizza Hut or something?" They all laughed and shook their head, indicating a no. None of them knew where she'd gotten her obscession with pizza for breakfast, but none of them were willing to join in on madness. Not that they were surprised she had odd eating habbits, not exactly like she has someone to cook for her, which made Addison pretty mad. A girl should not be able to eat fast food for every meal and be as thin as Meredith. It should be against the laws of the freaking universe, she thought.

"Sorry Mer." Derek smiled as he placed his arm around her neck, "Pizza's no good for breakfast. Maybe tonight."

"You guys ruin all of my fun!" She pouted before removing his arm from her shoulders with a grin, ang grabbing Addi's hand. "Last one to the car buys breakfast!" she smiled before running down Mark's hallway towards the stairs with Addi in tow.

**Please Review! **


	3. Ellis's call

_**Let's jump and see how far it goes**_

It was two days before the group were ready to leave for the roadtrip. Mostly due to the fact that it took Meredith that long to get a hold of her mother. She had to call her for her monthly check-up, and everyone knew Meredith hated it more than having her wisdom teeth pulled. In fact, she told them so last summer when she had them removed. Lucky for Meredith, Ellis was already running late for a surgery when she so graciously decided to return her daughter's phone call. She informed her mom she was going to be staying at Addison's for a few weeks, and that she would call her next month. Of course, she got the same arguement from her mother as she always did, that she shouldn't stay at Addison's. If anything Addison should stay at their house, but Meredith just let it through one ear and out the other. Her mother was impossible to argue with, besides she wasn't really going to be staying at Addi's anyway. In return, Ellis told Mer that she was sorry for missing her graduation, but that she was proud of her. Meredith doubted it, but didn't truly care, she'd become immune to her mother's meaningless words years ago. As long as her mom paid for college, she didn't care much what her mom thought of her. Also, Ellis informed her that she most likely be coming back to Saratoga for a few days next month, and that she had something very important to talk to Meredith about. Moments later, after the meaningless requirements of offers of affection, the two had hung up, instantly running away from the phone. One to the OR, and one to Derek's house. Both equally excited about the adventure ahead.

Mark was already at Derek's when Meredith arrived. She'd called him and told him that everything was set when she was getting in her car, and luckily for Mark, he lived down the street from Derek. He was already helping Derek place their luggage in the back of Derek's silver Touareg Volks Wagon, when she pulled up in her black eclipse. She waved at them from the inside of her car as she let the remainder of the song on the radio to play. One of her biggest pet peeves was for a song to end or get cut off prematurely. Someone might as well scratch their fingernails on a chalkboard.

**"And not everything is suppose to come true  
Some words are best unsaid, some love is not really love at all.  
I'll keep everything I shared with you, and that's enough.  
There's Us." **

Alexz Johnson's voice faded out for only a mere moment before Meredith quickly turned off the radio, and removed the keys from the ignition before another song came on, and she would of course have to listen to it. After setting her keys into her purse, she looked back up only to find Derek's fierce gaze on her. She always wanted to squirm slightly when he looked at her like that, or atleast check the mirror for some massive zit or something, but she'd learned long ago that there was nothing ever wrong with her when he did that, and she'd finally learned to find comfort in them rare moments. Their eyes met, and her cheeks blushed as she let her mind wonder on the possibilities. She was suddenly thankful that there was a tinted windshield between them now to guard her cheeks from his piercing gaze and happy smirk. She shook off the slightly erotic thoughts of her best friend out of her head and got out of her car, not even bothering to take out her several suitcases in her trunk. That's what the guys were for afterall.

"Hey guys!" she greeted as she walked up to the guys. They both set down the luggage in their hands to pull her into a hug, Mark first. Derek always seemed to take longer to hug her than everyone else, and Mark always ended up getting bored, so he learned to hug her first.

"How's our lovely mommy dearest?" Mark teased her as he released her from his bear hug.

"Oh. Great. You know.. the usual apologies for absence, promise to visit soon. Warning to stay away from Addi's. Oh. and apparently important news next time she comes. Whatever that means." she shrugs her shoulder as she gives the details of her conversation. She was sure that her friends thought she put her conversations in too short of a summary, but she really did give them more details than they realized. It was just simply that neither her or her mother went into detail on their phone calls.

"Sounds exciting." Mark winked at her, trying not to get disappointed again at her mother. He should be used to it by now, but he wasn't. When her mother failed to show up to graduation, he was more upset than she was.

"Oh. You know it." Meredith laughed before Derek pulled her into a tight hug, even though it was more warm and friendly than the bear hug she'd gotten from Mark. Mark returned to placing the bags in the car untill they pulled away. Meredith cleared her throat moments later as she looked around at the empty driveway, with the exception of them three and the two cars. "Where's Addi?"

"OH!" Mark's face lit up slightly, which caused Meredith to smile as she watched his eyes suddenly dance in excitement. "We're picking her up. Her mom took the car for something or another." He shrugged his shoulders as his mind fuzzied over the details. That wasn't technically true, he knew where her mom went, but it wasn't really his business to tell Meredith or Derek.

Meredith gazed into the back of Derek's car to find that it was already full, and she let out a small laugh. "You do realize that you're back is already full, and you still have two GIRLS' stuff to put in there?" she quirked her eyebrow at the two who suddenly seemed deep in thought.

"Should we take two cars?" Mark asked, not wanting to leave behind any of his stuff, if not completely and utterly necessary. Sure he knew he was like a chick when it came to trips, but he didn't care. He needed his things, besides they should be used to this by now.

"I can take mine." Meredith offered. She needed to talk to Addison anyway. They hadn't talked much since Waffle House. Given it was only two days, it still felt like an eternity. She'd spent the day before with Josh. He wasn't exactly pleased with the idea of the roadtrip, but she didn't really care. She figured it was partly due to the fact that she didn't invite him, much like the graduation party, but she didn't really care. Her friends didn't like him, and the trip was Mark's idea. She wasn't about to invite him somewhere that he wasn't wanted. Plus with Addi getting a job, it would be one of the last times the four of them really got together and did something special. He would just get in the way. Given, she didn't give him those reasons, but still.

Derek didn't want her driving all the way to Florida at all. In fact, he hated the idea. What if something happened, he would lose it. Unfortunately, he knew he didn't have a lot of options. Mark was a pretty bad driver, and he would never leave some of his bags behind. "Fine! but we are alternating passengers! I'm NOT sitting alone with Mark for nine hours! Alright?" Derek laughed as he patted Mark's back. Truthfully, he really didn't want to not to be able to ride with Meredith. He was hoping Addison would drive her car at some point, and she could ride with him, but he was trying not to get his hopes up, atleast not yet.

"Alright then, we should probably go before Addison thinks we left without her!" Meredith giggled before turning around and walking back to her car. Mark shut the back of his car and watched out of the corner of his eye as Derek's eyes never left Meredith's retreating figure until her car door slammed.

"Dude. I think she can make it 10 feet without getting hurt. Relax." Mark grinned at him before recieving a slap on the arm. "Ow! I was just speaking the truth!" Mark blocked Derek from hitting again before quickly running and jumping in the passenger seat.

"You can run Mark, but you can't hide!" Derek laughed before walking slowly and getting into the drivers seat, watching Meredith drive away in his rear view mirror.

"Wow. You really are pathetic." Mark laughed before looking through the case of CD's he brought for them to listen to.

**Please Review! **


	4. Girl talk

**A/N: Thanks SO much for all the reviews guys! I kept meaning to make one of these in the last 2 chapters, but kept forgeting. They make me so happy! Everything will work itself out:)**_**  
**_

_**You got my heart **_

It was another half hour before the group left Addison's house. The girls had decided instantly that they were riding together for the first part of the trip. 'Girl time' they quickly explained before getting into Meredith's car, and pulling out of the driveway, leaving little to no time for the guys to argue. Not that they were going to .

"I can't believe we graduated, Mer." Addison broke the silence as they made their way onto an old highway that would eventually lead them to the interstate.

"I know. What are we going to do, Addi?" Meredith sighed she gazed ahead of her onto the empty highway.

"My mom had court this morning." Addison blurted out without even meaning to. She wasn't even planning on telling anyone. Well except Mark of course, but that's because he insisted on knowing every detail of her life. It was quite annoying actually. She was thankful that Meredith had a much more laid back approach, and she always knew that she was there for her when she needed her. It was a silent understanding.

Meredith was happy they were on an empty highway, or else she was certain she would have killed someone as she swerved into the other lane instantly, and then back over into her original lane before her head darted towards the passenger seat. "Court?" Meredith asked, making sure she atleast almost killed them for a reason.

Addison's hands had flown up and were placed firmly on the roof, and did not move untill she convinced herself that there would be no more suddent swerves. "Eyes on the road, Grey! Seriously!"

Meredith offered a small apologetic smile towards Addi before returning her attention to the road ahead, despite the fact that she would bet her car that there was no car, or even a curve in the road, for the next ten miles. This was something she knew mostly because of the many trips she'd taken to visit her mom when she was younger. Derek's dad took the two when they were younger, untill one day Meredith decided she didn't want to go anymore. Neither of them questioned her reasoning, they just accepted it, and the trip was never mentioned again. "Stop avoiding the subject, Addi. Spill. NOW." Mer emphasized now to make her point that she was not going to let this subject go undiscussed.

"She's trying to get larger installments of payments from my dad's will because, we, we might loose the house." Addison's eyes teared up for the second time that day. Their house was the one tie left she had to her dad. If she tried hard enough, she could still smell the faint smell of his cologne in the master bathroom. She wasn't sure if it was her imagination, or if her mom still sprayed it every now and then. She never asked, and she didn't want to know. She wanted to believe that it was him trying to stay apart of her, and he was.

Meredith's heart broke. "Addi. Why didn't you tell me sooner? Let me help! Please! If you want to work for it. Fine. Clean my house. I'll pay you. God knows it's not going to get cleaned any other way!"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Addison's face as her friend made light of the situation. Something only her friends could do. "Meredith. I clean you're house all the time, for free! I won't take your money! It's bad enough that I already owe Mark seven billion dollars! I'm not getting a tab on you too!"

"That's crazy and you know it. Mark wouldn't accept a dime from you, and we both know it. Neither would I. Besides, I will not let you lose that house, Addi. It means a lot to me too!"

"Oh! That's right!" Addison laughed as she shook her head. "You got your first kiss in my house!" Addison tossed her head back gently against the headboard as she remembered her tenth birthday. Meredith smiled as she turned up the volume on the CD player.

**when the sun came up**

**we were sleeping in**

**sunk inside our blankets**

**sprawled across the bed**

**and we were dreaming**

_Two ten year old girls were hiding under the covers giggling at the events of the previous night. Addison was the last of the group to turn ten, and she was thankful that she would no longer be teased for being the nine yr old of the group. But that was not even on the top 5 list of exciting news for the two girls this morning, well top two anyway._

_"Last night was fun, Addi!" Meredith beamed brightly as she ran her finger over her slightly chapped lips._

_"What are you two girls giggling about?" a female voice came from the outside of their hut-like covering in the bed. They quickly erased the smiles off their faces and threw the covers down revealing their faces to Addison's mom._

_"Nothing." they replied in unison, even though neither of them were able to hide their smiles for long. They began to get nervous as the older woman set at the foot of the bed, turning her torso towards them._

_"How was the party?" Suzanne asked remembering the conversation she'd just had with Mark's mother. She'd spent the last twenty minutes laughing at how excited the four kids seemed to be at the nights events. Mandy, Mark's mom, had told her how she'd teased him and Derek the whole ride home the night before, and how they both just rolled thier eyes at her at how she was obviously so out of touch with kids these days. _

_"It was fun. Thanks mom." Addison smiled lovingly before getting onto her knees to hug her mom tightly. _

_"Thanks for having me over, Miss Suze. I had a fun time." Meredith offered shyly. She'd spent the night too many times to even count at Addison's, but she still gave the same grateful offering everytime. _

_"Anytime sweetheart." Suzeanne leaned over and placed a small kiss on Meredith's forehead. "Well girls, I'm going to go make some breakfast. Anything special ya'll would like?" She asked once she'd made it to the doorway, already knowing the response._

_"PANCAKES!" they both practically yelled in excitement. "With chocolate chips!" Addison added with a giddy grin before her mom left the room. Once she heard her mother's footsteps on the stairs, she quickly jumped out of bed and shut the door._

_"That was close!" she wiped away an imaginary bead of sweat with the back of her hand for emphasis as she climbed back onto the bed. _

_"I know! Good thing she spoke when she did!" Meredith nodded in agreement._

_"So, did you really kiss Derek?" Addison asked, curious whether or not she was the only one who went through with the plan._

_"Yeah." Meredith blushed slightly as she wrapped her arms tightly around a pillow, cuddling it against her chest. "What about you? You kiss Mark?" _

_"Mm hmm." Addison nodded, burying her head quickly into her pillow to hide any signs of embarrasement. _

_"Aww Addi! You got your first kiss on your birthday! That is SO cute!" Mer cooed as she nudged her best friend's shoulder with her own._

_"Yeah Yeah." Addison shrugged it off as if it was no big deal, even though she was really esctatic about it. She was just slightly intimidated because it was Mark, and she was sure that she wasn't his first kiss. What if she was a bad kisser? How awful would that be!_

**there are moments when i know it**

**and the world revolves around us**

**and we're keeping it**

**keeping it all going**

**this delicate balance**

**vulnerable**

**all knowing**

"Good times." Addison broke away from the memory with a content smile on her face. Sure Meredith knew that Mark was her first kiss, but she didn't know that he was her last. Well, she didn't think she did anyway. They'd never told their friends about their occasional dates because they didn't want to make a big deal about it. Plus, it wasn't like it was serious. Given, Addison hadn't exactly dated anyone else their senior year, she still had the option. Options were good, Addison loved options.

"Definately." Meredith laughed at their childish games. "Such a long time ago."

"Yeah." Addison sighed. So much had changed since then. For starters, Meredith still had a mom, and she still had a dad. She still had her mom, but she wasn't the same woman who used to get up extra early just to make pancakes anymore. Addison was now happy if her mom got out of bed everyday. She wasn't in denial about it, most days she didn't.

"So how do you think it went?" Meredith asked, getting back to the original, despite being slightly depressing for the beginning of a roadtrip, topic.

"I don't know. She hasn't called yet." Addison checked her cellphone for missed calls again, even though it was on vibrate and ring.

Meredith simply nodded in response. She wasn't sure what to say. "It's going to be alright, Addi." Meredith smiled with as much hope as she could muster.

"I know." Addison returned a similar smile, even though it never quite made the distance to her eyes. Meredith had said the same thing a few months after her father had died, and things were not okay. Not even three years later. "So!" Addison made her best attempt at a subject change. "How badly did Josh react about this roadtrip?" Addison laughed just picturing his outrage. He seemed to hate all of her friends, but none of them cared too much since they weren't his fans either. He had his own life, just as she did. She never quite understood how their relationship worked, but she'd given up trying to figure it out long ago.

Meredith let out a loud laugh as she shook her head. "It wasn't pretty. Oh well. He should be used to this by now." Meredith shrugged her shoulders. She didn't really want to think about Josh right now. He'd given her an ultimatum before she left, and she did not do well with those. She always rebelled. If he knew her like she thought he did, he would know that. If he didn't after two years, she wasn't too sure she wanted to be with him anyway.

"Well come on! What'd he do, Mer?" Addison encouraged trying as much as possible to get her family affairs off her mind. What better way than to get involved in Meredith's strange relationship with her boytoy.

"He said it was over if I came." she admitted with a shrug, as if it was no big deal that her two year relationship was probably over.

"He gave you an ultimatum? Does he not know you at all?!" Addison could feel the anger boil inside of her. "What the hell, Meredith? What did you say?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Meredith smiled as she turned up the volume one more time for the highlight of the song.

**(sing like you think no one's listening)**

"So it's over?" Addison's anger was quickly being replaced with excitement when she realized that her friend might finally be away from that an ass of a boyfriend.

"I don't know. Up to him, I guess. We're going to break up at the end of summer if not." Meredith replied, as if it was common sense.

"You were?" Addison quirked an eyebrow in curiosity.

**you would kill for this**

"We were." Meredith confirmed with a nod as she silently mouthed the words to the song, trying to save Addison from her singing voice, which she was sure wasn't pleasant to hear. Despite the song's advice, she didn't care to torture Addison more than necessary. "So, I have a story." Meredith smiled as she quickly glanced in her best friend's direction to emphasize the importance of the statement.

**just a little bit**

"Well out with it Grey!" Addison laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Well, an observation really!" Meredith corrected herself, realizing that it's possible she was wrong, and it probably wasn't even a big deal. But it could be. It could be huge. It had great potential. Fantastic potential, she thought.

"Come on, I'm not getting any younger, Mer." Addison was starting to get annoyed with her friend's rounding the story, or observation, or whatever else she wanted to call it.

**so, sing me something soft**

**sad and delicate**

**or loud and out of key**

**sing me anything**

**we're glad for what we've got**

**done with what we've lost**

**our whole lives laid out right in front of us**

"I think our Markie has a crush on someone." Meredith grinned, thinking that Addison got the point.

Addison's heart sank. That was not the story she wanted to hear at all. That seemed cruel for her best friend to tell her that the guy she liked liked someone else. Not that Meredith technically had been told. But they WERE best friends! "Who's the lucky girl this time?" Addison gave her best effort at a smile and a small, almost microscopic laugh.

Meredith turned her head back to her friend with a raised eyebrow. Apparently she didn't get the point at all. "You, Addi." Meredith laughed and rolled her eyes at her friend. "You know for wanting to be a doctor, you sure all clueless sometimes."

"M.. Me?" Addison almost choked on the words. "Why do you say that?" Addi had gotten a rush of adrenaline causing her to want to jump up in her seat, but she didn't.

"His eyes always dance when he's talking about you. It's cute. Really. You two should date. It would be adorable." Meredith grinned widely as she watched out of the corner of her eye her friend's reaction. She'd always thought that Addi liked Mark, but never knew. Now she definately knew. She didn't particulary blame Addison for not acting on it. Mark was the absolute epitome of a ladies man. But Meredith did believe it would be different if he was with Addison. Atleast it better be. She'd have his manhood surgically removed if he ever hurt Addi.

"Right." Addison replied with as much sarcasm as she could muster. It was hard to contain her excitement as her friend's obvious approval. She wanted to tell her about the several dates they'd been on throughout the years, but they'd agreed not to tell anyone, and if she told Mer, Derek would know in a matter of minutes. She wasn't ready for that. So instead she just laughed it off as she turned her head to look out the window.

"So how long have you liked him?" Meredith asked, surprising both herself and Addison. She wasn't planning on asking her that, it just sort of slipped out.

"Wh.. What do you mean?" Addison snapped her head back towards Mer in shock.

"Come on Addi. We've been best friends our whole lives. Are you really going to try to deny it?"

"Awhile." Addison finally answered after contemplating her options. It's not Meredith would believe her if she said no anyway. "It's not a big deal though." she added, suggesting that nothing had happened, even if it was a lie.

"Well time to step it up, babe." Meredith winked and smiled as she looked in her rearview mirror and smiled at Derek who'd somehow managed to make eye contact with her at that moment.

"I could say the same for you too, ya know." Addison grinned as she began to look through a cd case for another cd.

**Please Review! **


	5. Male bonding

**A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews! I'm glad that ya'll like the way the story is going! Next chapter they will switch passengers! Promise:) Please Review!_  
_**

**_And your daddy's boat_**

Meanwhile, in Derek's car, the two guys had settled on listening to the Keith Urban CD, despite Derek's pleas to listen to something different. But ultimately Mark won, as always.

"Fine." Derek mumbled, removing his hand from the eject button, and placing it on the steering wheel before backing out of his driveway.

"Don't be grumpy, man. Meredith is a good driver!" Mark tried to relax his friend who was trying, hopelessly at that, to catch up to the girls' car even though they were several minutes behind them, at least.

"Well, if you wouldn't have packed 12 bags, I wouldn't be grumpy!" Derek retorted with a slightl scowl, trying to the best of his abilities for it not to turn into a smirk.

"Yeah Yeah. Such a surprise there." Mark rolled his eyes as he scanned the back of the cd case to find the number of the song he was looking for the perfect song to start their roadtrip. Afterall, it was his idea. He slightly hits his forehead in stupidity as he realizes that the song is the first one on the cd. Quickly letting it go, he restarted the song that'd been playing in the background, but was too low to even make out a distinction whether it was in their head or not, so he turned up the volume to listen to the first song of many in their long drive.

**I'm changing lanes**

**I'm talking on the phone**

**I'm drivin' way to fast**

As soon as Mark began to get into the song, his phone started vibrating in his lap. He flipped his phone over to reveal that Angie was calling.

"Hey babe." he spoke cooly into the phone, casting a glance towards Derek. He could feel his eyes darting into his skin, but he refused to feel guilty about dating other girls. It wasn't like he was cheating on anyone.

Derek could hear a faint giggle over the music, and took all the power in him not to roll his eyes at the fake sound. Sounded more like foreplay if you asked him.

"Gossip Ang? Seriously? I don't really care about whoever wore the wrong color of lipgloss in the display at the mall!" Mark was irritated with the conversation, and it hadn't even begun.

"Relative? How is any of your gossip relative to me? I haven't been arrested!" Mark demanded, sitting up slightly straighter as he defended himself against an accusation that she hadn't actually even mentioned.

"Oh. Mer. Fine Ang, what did you hear about Mer?" Mark rolled his eyes as he heard the latest gossip train at it's best.

"Ha! I don't think that happened Angie. I was just with her, she was fine. She would have told us." Mark insisted.

"Oh. Megan told you? Well that makes it all true!" Mark shook his head as he placed his hand over his eyes. Why was he dating this girl again?

"Fine. I'll just call her." Mark offered, knowing that he wasn't. All he had to do was ask Derek. Derek knew everything before it even happened with Mer.

"Bye babe." Mark spoke happily, relieved he was finally off the phone.

"So, Derek. It's not nice when you keep secrets from me." Mark turned his body, as well as his attention towards the driver. Hoping that if he accused Derek of something, he might even learn more than he was planning on.

"What deluded ideas did she give you now, Mark?" Derek smiled, refusing to give away more information than was absolutely necessary, if it was even true.

"According to Angie, Mer is now a single girl." Mark watched as Derek's face lit up in excitement, as well as obvious surprise. Mark then frowned, if it wasn't true, he was going to feel like a huge jackass for getting Derek's hopes up. They'd all practically begged her to do it for years. There'd been rumors, lots of rumors actually, that he hadn't exactly been a faithful guy, but Meredith always shrugged it off. Atleast in public.

"R.. Really?" Derek managed to ask as he forced the large lump in his throat to dissolve. He could see the faint outline of Meredith's car in the distance, and accelerated the speed a little, trying his best to keep his emotions in order.

**And the interstate's jammed with**

**Gunners like me afraid of coming in last**

**But somewhere in the race we run**

**We're coming undone**

**Days go by**

**I can feel 'em flying**

**Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by**

**It's all we've been given**

**So you better start livin' right now**

**'Cause days go by**

"It's a possibility." Mark rephrased his words, trying to lighten the blow if it wasn't true. "Something about a big fight."

Derek couldn't hide the smile on his face at the news. Even if she wasn't single yet, it was a possibility. He was almost certain that the fight was about the roadtrip, and she was here, wasn't she? He couldn't believe they'd already graduated. He'd always planned to tell her how he felt, and ask her out, but something always stopped him. Mostly fear. Fear of rejection, of losing her, a lot of things. Now he was mad that they were fixing to go to seperate colleges, and he'd never told her. It would be pointless to tell her now, right? "Good for her." he finally managed to gather what little self restraint he had to not swerve into a ditch. Oddly enough, he looked up ahead to find that Meredith did actually swerve. Weird!

"So, you finally going to tell her?" Mark raised his eyebrows. He'd been watching Derek fight an inner war for what seemed like ever, and he was not happy that his heart had seemed to lose.

"Tell her what?" Derek feigned stupidity. Sure Mark knew that he was head over heels for Mer, but not because he ever told him,. He couldn't even remember when the jokes began, he'd just grown immune to them. Besides, it wasn't like he ever said them around Meredith. Thank god!

"Oh don't play idiot with me! I will so win!" Mark retorted with a grin. If anyone was going to play idiot, it was going to be him when Derek questioned him about Addison, which he was going to do. He always did when he questioned him about Meredith. It was pretty much a ritual. Sadly, their lives really did revolve around them, not that either of them would admit it.

"Fine. No, I'm not going to tell her." Derek replied, a frown overtaking his hopeless features.

"Come on, man! This is finally your chance! You're a dumbass if you don't take it!" Mark insisted.

"What about Addi?" Derek tried to get the conversation away from his situation as quickly as possible, but this time, Derek was surprised that he got a real answer.

"Addi already knows how I feel about her!" Mark finally offered with an embarrased grin.

**Out on the roof just the other night**

**I watched the world flash by**

**Headlights, taillights running through a river of neon signs**

**But somewhere in the rush I felt**

**We're losing ourselves**

_It was freshman year when Mark made his way into Addison's house. He hadn't seen her for days since the funeral. No one had. She hadn't left her room, and hadn't accepted any calls, or visitors. Her mother had called him hoping that he could help her somehow. He wasn't very optimistic, but never the less here he was at her bedroom door, knocking softly on it not to startle her._

_"I'm naked." she insisted through a sob. If she hadn't been crying Mark might have actually laughed, but he couldn't. But he had to lighten the mood somehow, so he did however make a joke._

_"Excellent. Now open the door, and we can tango!" he let out a small chuckle at his own expense, as he vaguely remembered them trying to tango at Homecoming several weeks before. He was relieved when he heard a small, although barely audible over the emo music playing loudly, laugh, and he couldn't help but smile. _

_"Mark?" she asked, actually happy to hear his voice. "Is that you?"_

_"Oh. So you would tango with just anyone? I have to say Addi, I'm a little insulted with this news." Moments later, the door opened and the first thing he saw was that small smile . "Hey you." he greeted softly as he pulled her tightly into a hug. _

_"Hey babe. What brings you by?" Addison asked as she pulled away and wiped away the stray tears on her cheeks. She'd always heard about people crying untill they were all teared out, that hadn't happened to her yet. She'd been crying for seven days straight. Things weren't looking any better._

_Mark was a little thrown off by her appearance. Addison was never one to appear disheveled. Her hair was always done, and makeup just right. Even when she just woke up with her hair up, it still looked prepped. Despite her red puffy eyes, and runny nose, Mark was taken back still by how gorgeous she was. "I missed you." he replied, pulling her once again into a hug. God, he'd missed her._

_"Yeah. Sorry." She tried to smile, but it was weak. Not that he could blame her. _

_"No worries. As long as you don't mind my new stalker tendencies to show up at your door unannounced, all will be fine!" he grinned as he sat down on her bare matress. The sheets and comforter were in a big ball in the center, with the pillows close by smelling heavily of a cologne that seemed oddly familiar to him, even though it wasn't his own._

_"Had late night visitors?" Mark asked playfully with a raised eyebrow, hoping above anything else that he wasn't sitting on a bed she'd slept with another guy on recently. _

_She watched as he took a big sniff of the room, and she smiled sadly at him. "The cologne was my dad's. I just.. I wanted to remember."_

_"Oh. Sorry Addi." Mark suddenly felt like a jackass. That didn't even cross his mind._

_"No worries, babe." she smiled as she sat down beside him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came by. I missed you too." _

_Mark suddenly grew nervous. His stomach was churning, and he didn't particulary know how to make it stop._

_"You know I love you, right?" He blurted out, causing her head to spring up off his shoulder, and her eyes to bulge. His stomach only churned worse by her reaction, maybe that wasn't the best idea._

_"wh..what?" she managed to get out as she searched his eyes for some kind of clue to what he meant._

_"I love you, Addi. You.. You're my.. well you're my everything." he smiled at her, and thankfully she returned the smile._

_"I know, Mark." she laughed as she placed her head back on his shoulder, thinking that he meant just as friends._

_"Go on a date with me?" he asked coyly. He knew it was a bad time, in fact it probably couldn't be worse, but it was now or never._

_She lifted her head more slowly this time, as she turned her body towards. "Date? You want to go on a date? Now?" she asked as she looked into the mirror on her wall at her appearance._

_"Well not NOW, but soon." he smiled as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "What do you say?"_

_"One condition." she smiled at him as she grasped onto his hands. _

_"Anything." he laughed as he looked at their entertwined hands._

_"Nobody knows." He quirked an eyebrow in confusion._

_"You want me to be your dirty little secret?" he grinned as he waited for a reaction._

_"It's just Mer and Derek, they would make this huge deal out of it and start planning our wedding or something. I just.. I don't want that. Okay?" she tried to explain, and she was slightly surprised at the disappointment in his eyes. He didn't really want a full blown relationship did he? What if it didn't work, that would be so bad._

_He rid the disappointment from his mind, and smiled at her. "Dirty little secret it is." he nodded as he stood up. "I'll be back at 8, missy." he winked as he placed another kiss on her forehead. "Be ready!" _

_She watched as he walked out of her room and closed the door, then she heard the heavy footsteps down the stairs. Once he was out of earshot, she laid back on the big ball of covers, and let out a high pitched squeel of excitement. Things suddenly didn't seem so unbearable afterall._

**Days go by**

**I can feel 'em flying**

**Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by**

**It's all we've been given**

**So you better start livin' right now**

**'Cause days go by**

"Hello? Earth to Mark! Anyone in there?" Derek waved his hand in Mark's face face to hopefully snap him out of his daydream.

"Huh? What did you say?" Mark shook the memory off as he turned to face Derek. What happened?"

"What do you mean Addison knows how you feel about her?" Derek reasked the question that'd taken him by obvious surprise. How did he miss this? That is kind of a huge revelation!

"Huh. Oh. I was just trying to get you to tell Mer. Sorry." Mark put on a stupid smile, and returned his attention to the road ahead. If he concentrated enough, he was certain he could make out the reflection of Addison in the side view mirror. Which he needeed to do to keep himself from telling Derek. The last thing he wanted was for somehting to ruin this trip.

**We think about tomorrow then it slips away**

**We talk about forever but we've only got today**

"So are you even dating anyone, Derek?" Mark asked after several moments of mutual silence. He watched as Derek shrugged his shoulders, and Mark let out a small gasp. "Derek Shepherd! You're hiding chicks from me! That's cruel!" Mark demanded as he turned his body towards him. "Well out with it, tell me her name."

"Just some girl." Derek replied, not wanting to think about it when he'd just heard that Meredith might be single. "We aren't exclusive or anything."

**And the days go by**

**I can feel 'em flying**

**Like a hand out the window**

**As the cars go by**

**It's all we've been given**

**So you better start livin'**

**You better start livin'**

**Better start livin' right now**

"Well maybe you should be. Then Mer might get jealous. It's a fact of life, buddy. No one wants what's so obviously right in front of them." Mark smiled at his all knowing dating advice. If anyone knew anything about dating, it was Mark.

"You want me to go out with a girl just to make Mer jealous, and then dump the girl? Mark, that's so wrong on so many different levels." Derek shook his head, and couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine. Be the old lonely man with 12 raccoons as pets. See if I care." Mark grinned as he returned his attention to the side view mirror of Meredith's car.

"Raccoons? I thought it was cats. or something." Derek grinned at his friend's expression.

"Cats are for chicks, Derek. But fine if you want to be an old lady with 12 cats, be my guest!" Mark retorted not even bothering to look at Derek this time.

"I'm not going to be alone!" Derek insisted. "I date! I just don't date seventy girls at one time and then make them all cry!" Derek refused to believe that he would be alone. Hell, he refused to believe he wasn't going to be with Meredith, but that was a whole different story. Sort of anyway.

"Whatever you say, Derek." Mark smiled at his friends defiance. He was used to people making fun of his dating habbits. He didn't care anymore. As long as he didn't hurt Addi, he didn't really care what anyone thought, and he made sure not to do that. Atleast he tried.

**Cause days go by**

**I can feel like 'em flying**

**Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by**

**It's all we've been given**

**So you better start livin' right now**

**Cause days go by**

**These days go by**

"You know Mark, some would consider what you are doing, stalking." Derek laughed as he watched his friend stare intently at the car in front of them. Given, he'd been doing the same thing, but that didn't matter.

"Yeah. Well you'd be sitting right beside me in the jail cell, buddy." Mark laughed as he quickly glanced at Derek.

"Can't disagree there." Derek smiled as he refocused his attention on the road, even though it was practically deserted except for the four of them.

"Then shut up." Mark replied with a deadpan expression.

"You know, you used to be a lot funnier." Derek frowned as he glanced down at his lap.

"You used to have a pair, too. But you know , you can't have everything." Mark laughed as he readjusted his position on the seat.

"I hate you." Derek laughed as he switched arms on the steering wheel. Only a few minutes in, and he was already tired of driving.

**So take 'em by the hand  
They're yours and mine  
Take 'em by the hand  
And live your life  
Take 'em by the hand  
Don't let 'em all fly by  
Come on, Come on now  
Don't you know the days go by **

"Shepherd. You don't hate me. You're just mad that you're pathetic and I'm not."

"Right. Atleast Mer's had a boyfriend for the past two years. What's your excuse?" Derek replied with a smirk, hoping that he'd actually won an arguement, but doubting it.

Mark frowned slightly at the question. The answer was Addison. He'd wanted to tell Derek everything so many times, but after awhile, the lie just got so big. So hidden, that it almost seemed like a worse idea to tell him than to not. So instead, he put on a smirk and shrugged his shoulders. "No one can tie me down."

Derek laughed as his car was finally close behind Meredith's. Close enough that he could clearly see her in the rear view mirror. He smiled at her, and was ecsatic when she returned it to him. This might be a fun trip after all.

**Please Review!!! **


	6. Friendly Addek

**a/n: okay. so I know this isn't what anyone was expecting. So, I'm sorry for that. But I realized that through this whole story, I've been talking about how much these four depended on each other, yet you haven't really seen how these two do. So I wanted to show that before the story got further on, because then it would seem forced. I hope this doesn't. Anyway, let me know what you think, please. The reviews mean so much to me! I'm so happy that you all like this story! OK, my rant is over. **

_We got all night to make it float_

It was atleast another two hours before the group stopped at a rest area to stretch their legs. After sitting at a concrete picnic table for half an hour eating potato chips and drinking 75 cents drinks, it was time to decide the new riding arrangements.

"No one is driving my car." Meredith insisted immediately with a smirk towards Derek.

"But.." Derek gapped. "Come on Mer." Derek grinned, trying his best to persuade her to ride with him without actually begging. He refused to beg. Atleast yet.

"Nope." Meredith shook her head in resistance at Derek before turning her attention to Mark. "Looks like your my new partner, Sloane."

"Does that involve sex?" Mark winked at her before recieving a smack in the arm.

"You're impossible, Mark. Really." Meredith laughed before standing up and making her way to her car.

"OW!" Mark exclaimed a moment later, causing Meredith to turn around.

"What happened?" she asked with a raised eyebrow at the three people still sitting at the table.

Mark glared at Derek before turning his attention to Mer. "Hit my elbow on the table." he lied. Meredith just grinned and continued her walk to the car.

Once she took several steps, Mark turned to Derek with a scowl on his face. "What was that for?"

"Have fun!" Derek said through clenched teeth as he watched in satisfaction as Mark his arm.

"I will!" Mark grinned as he stood up and followed Meredith.

Addison smiled at the two boys before standing up. "So, I'm stuck with you, huh?" she grinned at him playfully.

"Technically, I'm stuck with you!" he laughed before offering his arm to her, which he gladly accepted and wrapped her arm in his.

"I'm controlling the radio!" He insisted once they finally made their way to his car.

"Ha. In your dreams, buddy." she laughed as she climbed into the car.

"I happen to like my dreams, thank you." he retorted with a devilish grin..

"Derek. Ew. No need for me to hear about your erotic dreams about my best friend!" Addison covered her ears for emphasis untill she was certain that it was safe to remove them.

"You're just jealous they aren't about you!" he laughed as his own joke that he thought was clever, no matter what anyone said.

"Right." Addison laughed as she picked up the CD case off the floorboard. "So any new CDs?" she asked, only casting a small glance in his direction before opening the large case sitting in her lap, all but begging her to be opened.

"Um. Maybe." Derek laughed. "When's the last time you looked through it?"

"I don't know, Derek. Not something that I write in my calender." she grinned as she glanced over to find that he seemed to be having a stare contest with the car in front of them, and she was sure if she looked ahead of her, she would find Meredith in a similar gaze. Shaking her head slightly, she decided to finally open the case, and find something to listen to.

"Kenny Chesney, it is!" she smiled as she pulled out the cd from the case, placing it on her index finger long enough to removed the mixed tape that had been playing previously in the car.

"You two are impossible!" Derek laughed at her selection. Mark had also chosen that cd earlier after listening to about two songs of Keith Urban.

"What?" Addison laughed with an innocent smile as she placed the cd into the player. Immediately skipping through the first four songs, and removed her hand once the number five lit up the screen. "I love this song." she concluded, after realizing that Derek was not going to explain his comment.

**"Summertime is finally here**

**That old ballpark, man, is back in gear**

**Out on 49**

**Man I can see the lights"**

"It's summer, Derek!" Addison practically yelled in excitement, running her fingers through her thick red hair, even though it was now up in a ponytail.

"I noticed." Derek smiled, only to recieve a slap on his arm.

"Don't be such a jerk!" she glared at him intensely for several moments before deciding to turn up the radio to drown out any smartass comments he might come up with. Unfortunately, that left her with her thoughts. More than that, left her with memories.

**"School's out and the nights roll in**

**Man, just like a long lost friend**

**You ain't seen in a while**

**And can't help but smile"**

"Hey Derek?" Addison glanced his way, unsure of whether or not she wanted to have this conversation, but needing to all the same.

"Yeah?" the change of her tone caught him slightly off guard. Him and Addison had had a very playful, and banter-full relationship for as long as he could remember, yet she was the only person he'd ever actually told about his feelings for Meredith, and he was the only person she talked to about her dad. He had a creeping suspicion that that was what this conversation was going to be about.

"Have you ever had a dream of a memory? Well, atleast I think it was real. It seemed real. I'm not even sure anymore. It's just I've had the same dream for several days in a row. And, it just.. you know what. Nevermind. It's too weird. Sorry. Forget I said anything." she shook her head, trying to get rid of the unnerving feeling the dream had left her with.

"Oh come on now, Addi. You can't do that. Tell me what it's about." He smiled softly at her, encouraging her to get it off her chest.

**And it's two bare feet on the dashboard**

**Young love and an old Ford**

**Cheap shades and a tattoo**

**And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboard**

**Perfect song on the radio**

**Sing along 'cause it's one we know**

**It's a smile, it's a kiss**

**It's a sip of wine, it's summertime**

**Sweet summertime**

_A preteen Addison entered her house with Derek in toe and was immediately greeted by her father in a business suit. _

_"Hey Daddy!" Addison greeted happily as she buried her small body into his, wrapping her arms as far as she could around his built body._

_"Hey Sweetheart. How was school?" he asked, even though he was already running fifteen minutes late for a very important doctors appointment._

_"It was good. Derek came over to work on a project for Science. That's okay, right?" she asked, hoping that her dad wouldn't embarass her in front of her friend. _

_"Of course, sweetie. Your mom is in the kitchen." He smiled as he leaned down closer to the height of the two children. "Between us three, I think she is making chocolate chip cookies." He offered a wink causing both of their faces to light up in excitement._

_"Yay!" Addi squeeled happily, beginning to run into the kitchen but stopped when she realized her dad was still holding onto her hand._

_"Derek, you can go on into the kitchen." Michael insisted, and Derek obeyed immediately, running happily down the hallway. Once he was out of sight, Michael bent down even further to his knees to be eye level with his daughter, trying his best to be as serious as possible. "Is that your boyfriend?" he whispered playfully nodding towards the kitchen._

_"DEREK?" Addison exclaimed a little too loudly, quickly covering her mouth and shaking her head quickly, indicating a no, that he was DEFINATELY not her boyfriend. She didn't even want a boyfriend, but Derek wasn't even an option._

_Michael laughed at his daughters reaction and shook his head playfully. "I don't know Addi. I think I see some wedding bells in the future for you two!" He laughed, buying him a small slap on the arm from his twelve year old daughter. _

_"Definately not, daddy." Addison blushed slightly. _

_"Alright Alright. Fine. But daddy knows best!" he insisted with a wink. "Well I have to go, sweetie. Work awaits. I'll see you later on tonight. Be good for mommy." _

_"Yeah Yeah." she smiled as she opened the front door for him. "Bye daddy." She waved at his back as he walked out the door towards his car._

**Temperature says 93**

**Down at the Deposit and Guarantee**

**But that swimmin' hole**

**It's nice and cold**

"Wow." Derek managed to get out at the dream. The weird part is he was certain that really happened, because he remembered vividly that conversation about the cookies. Not to mention, her dad made him promise to take care of her that night when he returned from that meeting. It was one of the last times he saw Addison's dad before he announced that he had cancer. Did he know then? "You said you've been having recurring dreams about it?" he scratched his head momentarily, glancing her way before returning his eyes to the road.

"It's weird, right? That I keep dreaming it." Addison didn't know what to make out of any of it.

"There are lots of reasons for dreams, Addi." Derek smiled, trying his best to comfort her. "Maybe you're just.. I don't know.. trying to hold onto him."He shrugged his shoulders. He didn't know what to say. If he told her about the chat that he had with him, it would only make the awkward feeling even stranger.

"Right. Yeah. Okay." she smiled, shaking off the dream as best she could, refocusing her attention on the upbeat song on the radio that did not go well with the conversation they'd been having at all. "Just forget it." she smiled at him as she placed one of her legs under her body, after slipping off her black flip flops that revealed her red toenails that matched her hair, as well as her bathing suit, perfectly.

"Will do." he agreed, shifting slightly in his seat to make himself more comfortable.

**Bikini bottoms underneath**

**But the boys' hearts still skip a beat**

**When them girls shimmy off**

**Them old cutoffs**

"So, now I have a question." Derek smiled slightly in her direction, hoping that he would get the answer he was hoping for, even though he knew he shouldnt even be thinking about it. This wasn't the first big fight Meredith and Josh had gotten into. In fact, they got into them pretty often. Which is what made him so mad at himself for getting his hopes up for a break-up, but he still did.

"Shoot." Addison laughed, knowing already what the question would be. The same question he asked after every fight Meredith and Josh got into. Except this time she was almost certain it would come out in his favor. Then again, you never can tell with those two.

"Did they break up?" he asked, knowing he didn't even have to bother to say their names. He was well aware that he was that guy. That pathetic guy who got his hopes up way too easily, and always disappointed in the end over a girl he was certain would never see him as more than a best friend. Never stopped him from the rise and fall of it all though. Not once.

"He gave her an ultimatum. She came anyway. So I guess they are over. She hasn't talked to him since yesterday." Addison answered as though it was no big deal, even though she knew it was, it was a huge deal. Especially for Derek.

"I should feel bad, right? I mean our best friend broke up with her long time boyfriend. We should be sad, right?" Derek asked, trying to form even the smallest amount of sadness for them, and failing miserably, causing Addison to laugh.

"Oh come on. No one is sad about that relationship being over. I don't even think Meredith is. Atleast not yet." she smiled happily.

"Yet?" he asked, afraid of the response he was going to get.

**And it's two bare feet on the dashboard**

**Young love and an old Ford**

**Cheap shades and a tattoo**

**And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboard**

'Well, they were together for two years. Whether she likes him anymore or not, it's going to be hard for her to let it go." Addison tried to explain.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Derek shook his head.

"Okay Derek. It's like.. It's like having a puppy. A really annoying puppy that eats all of your shoes, and craps in your sheets. Then one day, he gets lost in the woods, and suddenly you don't have him anymore. Whether he was a pain in the ass or not, you're going to miss him when he's gone!" she stated matter-of-factly.

"No you don't! You rejoice that he is gone for forever!" he replied, being stubborn. He'd had that dog before, Fudge. He hated that dog untill they had to put him to sleep because of a bad case of diabetes. He just didn't want Mer to miss Josh. No one should ever miss Josh. He considered him more like bees. No one missed a bee after being stung. In fact, you pray for a kill-all bee spray. When the hell is that going to happen?

**Perfect song on the radio**

**Sing along 'cause it's one we know**

**It's a smile, it's a kiss**

**It's a sip of wine, it's summertime**

**Sweet summertime**

"Lies!" Addison laughed at him. "I remember Fudge very well, Derek!"

"Crap. I've got to make some new friends." Derek smiled and winked in her direction.

"You will not!" She insisted with an open jaw. He was one-third of her world. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear about any friends he had outside of their group. Another one of her her many fears of graduation. Losing them.

"You keep telling yourself that Addi." Derek smiled as he grabbed onto her hand and squeezed it slightly, before letting it go. "You can't get rid of me. I'm like.. I'm like the cat with nine lives that's still alive after you stick it in the dryer."

"I still can't believe you guys did that! That was awful!" She shook her head at poor Satana, Mark's first and only pet. Originally named Satan untill Mark's mom informed him that Satan was a girl, hints the 'a' at the end.

**The more things change**

**The more they stay the same**

**Don't matter how old you are**

**When you know what I'm talkin' 'bout**

**Yeah baby when you got**

"Satana is fine, Addi! Relax!" Derek chuckled at her. It never failed to get her going.

"Only because Mandy ran into the room because of her cries!" Addison insisted placing her hands on her hips, although it didnt do much for effect since they were sitting down.

"We would have let her out soon!" he insisted with a smirk. "We aren't cruel, we were just a little bored!"

"Evil! You too were evil!" she smirked at him before returning her attention the cd case still in her lap looking for another cd since the song was almost over.

"You love us!" he laughed. "Mandy was seriously considering sending Mark to boarding school after that. Poor guy didn't get to leave his room for a week."

"You didn't leave yours for like a month!" she remembered with a smirk.

"What's your point, Addi?" Derek's grin disappeared as he made his best attempt to be serious.

**Two bare feet on the dashboard**

**Young love and an old Ford**

**Cheap shades and a tattoo**

**And a Yoo-Hoo bottle rollin' on the floorboard**

**Perfect song on the radio**

**Sing along 'cause it's one we know**

**It's a smile, it's a kiss**

**It's a sip of wine, it's summertime**

**Sweet summertime**

"You're impossible!" she shook her head as she flipped to another random page of cds in the case. "Absolutely impossible. Both of you." she added, since she was sure that the whole thing was Mark's idea anyway.

"I should have never told you about that." he replied with a smile.

"Eh. I'm like the ground and gravity. It all comes back to me eventually." She offered a wink in his direction before pulling out a random mixed tape from the opened case, waiting impatiently for the song to be done.

"That you are." Derek laughed at her simile. Only she would say something like that- ever.

"Why, thank you, Shepherd." she grinned as she sung along with the last line of the song softly. "sweet summertime."

"You should never sing in public, Addi. Reall- OW!" He exclaimed, fighting the urge to remove his hand from the steering wheel and nurse his impacted arm.

"That's what you get!" she smirked at him before ejecting the K.C CD, and replacing it with the mixed tape. "I feel like being random." she clarified as he gave her an odd look at picking the only CD in the case that wasn't labeled.

"You would."

**Once again, I hope it didn't seem too forced. Please let me know what you guys thought! By the way, I know these chapters have been coming out on like a daily basis, but that's because they were all written before except this one. So it might be a few days before the next one!  
**


	7. Thanks for coming!

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It means so much to me. I had like the biggest smile on my face for like two days straight! So thanks! I hope you guys like this chapter. Especially the Mark fans! Anyways, Enjoy! **_  
_

_We could sit on the shore_

A couple of car stops, and a check in of a cheap motel later that only cost $57 a night, the group had finally made their way onto the beach. The moonlight had long ago found its reflection on the water, and the slight cool breeze caused the two girls to keep their arms tucked closely around their bodies. After walking a short distance along the water's edge, the group decided to sit down on the white sand. Well, a blanket on the white sand. Mark refused to sit on the bare ground. His jeans were new, and he wasn't willing to ruin them untill the second time he wore them. Mark had wanted to continue walking, hr was tired of sitting, but the rest of them were tired from driving. Neither Meredith nor Derek were willing to let him drive their cars, so he was just the passenger to all of them.

"Thanks for coming, guys." Mark smiled slightly as he looked out on the vast ocean. On the ride here, he'd had a lot of time to realize why he'd spent his life centered around these three people. They were his everything. Not that he had ever tried to have a girlfriend, but if he did, they could have never compared to them. Not to Meredith, not to Derek, and definately not to Addison. He could still remember the day he met Meredith and Derek.

_It was his first day in Saratoga, and he was six years old. It was rounding five o'clock, and he was sitting, bored out of his mind, on the hood of the u-haul truck. He'd been waiting for his parents to set up his room inside, and so he'd been riding his bike in small circles in the driveway, but after a little while, he'd become dizzy. So he'd settled on the hood of the truck. It took him atleast fifteen minutes to climb on it, and once he was on it, he was certain it wasn't worth the effort, but it was too late now. After letting out a sigh of boredom his eyes traveled down the street and landed on two kids, he guessed around his age. One was a boy, and one was a girl. Even at the distance he could tell the girl was upset, and the guy had too much hair for his own good. He scooted over towards the edge of the hood to look at his house, looking for some sort of sign or reason that he could run down the street without telling his parents. Even at six, he knew it wasn't a good idea to run down a street he'd never been on before to some kids he didn't know._

_He saw his parents at the doorway, seemingly ready to come get him, so he took it as a sign that he should talk to the kids. "Going down the street, mom!" he yelled in the most normal voice he could muster before sliding down the front of the truck, and was off running practically before his little feet hit the ground. He could hear faint calls of his name coming from his new house, but he was already on a mission, and refused to be detoured for a moment longer._

_Once he was only several feet away, he slowed his pace to a slow walk, of course not to seem anxious. Even at such a young age, Mark loved girls, and was determined to seem cool, even nonchalant, any time one was around. Most boys his age thought girls had cooties, and that was fine with him. Left more for him to charm. Let's face it. He was very charming. _

_"Hey! I'm Mark!" he smiled as he offered a small wave once he stepped on the green grass, and was in talking distance of the two kids. Now, he could clearly see that the girl had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, and he suddenly felt like an intruder._

_The two turned quickly to face the strange voice, jumping up to standing position immediately, slightly startled by the intrusion of their private conversation. Once they took in his young appearance, they both relaxed and gave him a smile. "Hey. I'm Meredith." Meredith spoke softly before gesturing to the wavy haired boy beside her. "That's Derek. This is his house." She wasn't sure why she said it, probably nerves. _

_"What are you guys doing?" Mark asked as he looked around for any signs of toys or distractions of any sort, not finding any._

_"Talking." Derek finally spoke. He wasn't too thrilled with this new fellow. Showed up less than a minute ago, and he was already all smiley with Meredith. Meredith was his. All the other girls were weird._

_"Talking? What about?" Mark asked as he scratched his head that was only slightly gelled that morning by his mom._

_"Nothing." Meredith shook her head, not wanting to tell the stranger that her father had broken his promise. He'd promised her two weeks ago that he would come visit her in a few days. Fourteen days later, she was starting to lose hope, as well as faith, in him. _

_"I'm new." Mark decided to share, mostly to break the silence that'd overtaken them._

_"MARCUS SLOANE! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN!!" Mandy Sloane yelled from the small road, only steps away from Derek's yard._

_"Uh oh." Mark squinted his eyes tightly before turning back around to face his mom. "Hey mom!" he waved shyly towards her, hoping that she wouldn't embarass him in front of Meredith._

_"Don't you ever run away like that! Do you understand me?" she finally reached him and grabbed a hold of his hand._

_"Sorry mom. This is Meredith and Derek. Derek lives here." Mark recited the only information he knew about them. "We were just talking." he insisted, pucking his lower lip slightly for his desire effect._

_Mandy smiled at her son and his two new friends before bending down to get closer to an eye level with them. "Nice to meet you two." She smiled at the two young children who were now holding hands at the presence of her. Then, she turned to Mark. "Let's go home now baby, we have your room ready!" _

_"5 more minutes? Please, mom?" he whined before clasping his hands together, finally begging, despite his pride telling him otherwise, for his mom to let him talk to someone that wasn't his family. _

_"Fine. But if you aren't standing in your room in exactly six minutes, you will not leave it for a week! Understand?" Mandy tried her best to seem serious. She was truly happy that Mark seemed to already make friends. She'd been worried that he wouldn't since it was such a small town._

_"Yes'm." Mark grinned as he watched his mom walk away towards his house. Once she was out of earshot, he turned back aorund to face the two kids. "Sorry about that. She worries a lot." _

_"It's okay. My mom does the same thing." Derek smiled. The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of having someone to play with. Meredith was his best friend, but she wasn't exactly into any guy stuff._

_"Well, I have to get home. My mom took the week off, and she wants to have dinner or something. Then, I'm going to Addi's." Meredith waved her hand in the air, shownig that it was slightly freaking her out._

_Mark's instincts kicked back in as he stepped forward, and pulled her into a hug. "Nice to meet you, Meredith.."_

_"Grey." Meredith giggled as he released her from the bear hug._

_"Sloane." Mark smiled. _

_"Bye Sloane." Meredith blushed before turning to Derek and giving him a much softer, and more loving hug. "See you tomorrow, Derek." She quickly pecked his cheek before running inside his house to call her mom to come get her._

_"So, do you want to come over and play tomorrow?" Derek asked, getting excited despite the fact that the new guy was obviously going to be more interested in Meredith than in him._

_"SURE!" Mark's face lit up, but quickly hid it. "I mean, if my mom says it's okay, then I guess that would be okay." He shrugged his shoulders._

_"Alright. Well, see you then!" Derek smiled before following Meredith's tracks and running into his house ._

It was the next day when he met Addison. Since then, the four had been inseperable, and he wouldn't change it for anything.

"You know we wouldn't have let you come alone, Sloane." Meredith smiled as she nudged him in the shoulder before laying back on the blanket.

"Yeah. I mean, we had to think of all the other drivers on the road too, Mark." Derek laughed as his eyes seemed to be stuck on Meredith's outstretched form.

"Ha Ha. You guys are so funny." Mark rolled his eyes with a grin as he pulled Addison into his lap, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I was forced!" Addison smiled as she placed her hands over his that was covering her stomach.

"Damn right you were." Mark grinned into her shoulder, shielding his face from the chilling wind.

Addison glanced nervously towards Meredith, hoping that she would get the hint that she needed to talk to Mark. After several odd looks from Mer, a look of understanding spread across Mer's face, and was quickly followed by a smile and a nod. Quickly sitting up, and wrapping her arms around her body, she turned towards Derek. "I'm going to go get a jacket. Walk with me?" she asked, even though she wasn't really going to give him an option.

"Sure." Derek smiled as he noticed the small patches of goosebumps forming on her arms. He quickly stood up before easily pulling her up onto her feet. Quickly rubbing his hands up and down her arms for warmth before letting them fall to her hands, he turned towards the hotel and began to semi-long distance walk to their room. He was hoping that this time he would have the nerve to talk to her about Josh. They'd rode together in the car for two and a half hours, and he didn't get up the nerve to even mention his name. Maybe he'd have better luck this time.

**I'd really wanted to write a chapter on Meredith and Mark because I LOVE their friendship, but the song was kind of moving along, so I did too. The next two chapters will have your mer/der that you've been waiting for, and the Maddison! Please let me know what you think!! **


	8. Seems like Dejavu

**A/N: Sorry guys, I had this written on Thursday, but this site wouldn't let me upload it! It's Maddi, next chapter is MD. It should be up in the next week, I've been sick, so I haven't gotten to finish it yet. Hope you guys like this chap! Let me know!_  
_**

**_We could just be friends_**

Addison had now turned around and faced Mark, ultimately wrapping her long legs around his torso. He was relieved that she smiled at him once she got situated, which hopefully meant that whatever they were going to talk about, would be good. "What's up, Addi?" Mark grinned as he wrapped his arms around her torso, instinctfully pulling her closer to him.

**I had no choice but to hear you**

**You stated your case time and again**

**I thought about it**

For the first time since they'd been on the beach, the duo actually recognized the song that was playing on the overhead music system, and Addison instantly smiled. "I love this song!"

"You love every song, babe." Mark chuckled as he shook his head side to side at her joy over a simple song, a kind of old song at that.

"You know you love it, too!" she grinned as she playfully slapped his chest before scooting backwards to show that she was amused by his jokes.

"I do?" he quirked an eyebrow slightly as he planted his hands on her hips, waiting untill she losened her position so that he could pull her back.

"Definately." Addi grinned as she placed her fingertips on his jaw, and ran soft trails up and down.

"Alright. Fine. Alanis Morrisette is my hero. Idol even. Happy?" he gave in with a grin before pulling her back to him.

"I knew you would see it my way." her fingers ran up into his short hair and began to mess up his gelled style.

"Yeah Yeah!" He chuckled as he swatted her hands away from his hair.

**You treat me like I'm a princess**

**I'm not used to liking that**

**You ask how my day was**

"So, what was so important that you had send death glares at Mer for her to leave?" he gave her his i-know-all expression before quirking an eyebrow.

"I did not send her death glares!" Addison gasped as she placed a hand over her heart in mock hurt and shock.

"You definately did, Addi." he laughed as he tightened his grasp on her waist.

"So, I'm not allowed to just want to hang out with you without having a reason?" she retorted with a smirk.

"You are, but that's not what this is!" He shook his head to show that he didn't buy it at all.

"You know, I really don't like you, sometimes." she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Of course you don't." he winked as he leaned in closer to her, causing her to hold in her breath. "But then again, you're sort of a bad liar." he spoke in a lower tone before plastering a grin on his face as he realized that she'd closed her eyes.

"JERK!" she laughed as she hit his chest again.

**You've already won me over in spite of me**

**Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet**

**Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are**

**I couldn't help it**

**It's all your fault**

"I almost told Derek." he blurted as a moment of silence passed over them.

"Told him what, exactly?" Addison quirked an eyebrow.

"About us." he nodded slightly, hoping that she wouldn't freak out.

"Yeah. I almost told Mer too." she blushed slightly as she forced herself to look in his eyes.

"Maybe we should tell them?" he offered as he shrugged his shoulders. He'd liked the whole sneaking around thing at first, but then it just got complicated. They never really talked about it except for Addison making it clear they weren't official, or exclusive. He'd never gotten up the courage to ask for more.

"Ha! Funny!" Addison laughed as she threw her head back. "They would kill us if they knew we've been keeping it from them for four years!"

"Well, we don't have to tell them it started that long ago. We can say that it just happened." he argued, not quite ready to give up the arguement that he already knew he was going to lose.

"I.. I don't know, Mark. If we tell them, it's going to turn into something so much bigger than it is." she tried to downplay her feelings for him. She was scared to tell anyone. Then there would be expectations of them, and she wasn't ready for those. She liked the way things were, well she didn't particularly like all the other girls he'd dated, but it wasn't like she didn't encourage him to do so.

Mark took a deep breathe, before speaking again. "Would that really be so bad?" He squinted his eyes closed, getting ready for the back lash he'd recieve. He was pleasantly surprised when his ears weren't immediately violated by her screams of dissatisfaction.

"Mark.." she sighed as she rested her hands on the back of his neck. "Are you listening to yourself? If we tell them, it will ruin everything! You aren't going to give up all the other girls, and I.. I won't ask you to." she smiled sadly at him as she gently caressed his hair in between her fingertips.

"But I could give them up, Addi. That's the thing." He sounded so sincere, she almost wanted to believe him, but she knew Mark better than anyone, and no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't going to stay dedicated to one person. It just wasn't in the stars for him.

**Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole**

**You're so much braver than I gave you credit for**

**That's not lip service**

_Two weeks had passed since Addison and Mark had gone on their first date. It was a simple date. Dinner and a movie. A comedy actually. The last thing Mark had wanted to do was make her cry again. Addison thought it went well. She'd wanted nothing more than to run to Meredith's afterwards and tell her everything, but then she remembered that it was a secret, so she reluctantly let him drop her off at her house, and she went to bed. She didn't go to school for the next week after that, but Mark had come see her everyday after school, well the days he actually went to school. She knew he skipped two days with her, if not three. By the end of the week, the days had blurred together. All she could remember from it really was the random kisses and Mark's corny jokes. God, they were corny, but she loved every single one of them all the same. She was now walking into a party that Meredith had dragged her to, promising her that the moment she wanted to bail, they were out of there. Unfortunately, ten minutes hadn't even passed before Meredith was carried away from her by Josh. She could see a faint frown in her direction from Meredith as she was dragged into another room. Needless to say she was relieved when she felt the familiar arms of Mark wrap around her waist moments later._

_"Hey you. I didn't know you were coming." he grinned as he placed a small kiss on her cheek, fighting any urge he had to make a much more daring display of affection._

_"Yeah. Wasn't planning on it. Meredith said it would be fun though." She offered him a small smile as she turned her face towards him. "I'm glad you're here." she smiled shyly before stepping out of his grasp._

_He quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. "Can we talk?" The uncertainty in his voice made goosebumps appear on her arm, and a shiver overtake her body momentarily before she nodded in response. He quickly led her through the large house that was full of drunk students that she was sure she'd never seen half of them in her life, which wasn't really odd at parties anymore anyway. Word of mouth is insane when it comes to alcohol and teenagers._

_In a matter of moments, the two had made their way to a deserted patio in the back of the house that was only occupied by a padded swing set, offering an amazing view of twinkling stars. "So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked as she made herself comfortable in one of the two padded seats of the swing. Since when did they put dividers in swings, she thought, as she placed her arm lightly on the arm rest between them._

_"So I know when I asked you out, you said we had to be an unofficial secret, but. " _

_He was cut off by Addison as she placed a finger on his lips, silencing him reluctantly. "Mark, what we have is good. Why ruin it?" she asked, hopeful that he would just let it be._

_  
"But it could be even better!" he grabbed onto her hand, a light of hope dancing in his eyes._

_"What are you saying, Mark? You want to be exclusive? You want to tell people? What exactly would make it better?" she quirked an eyebrow towards him, not sure if she was ready for this conversation. She was certain that Mark of all people would love the arrangement. The last thing she wanted was a relationship. She didn't want to depend on anyone. Not more than she already did anyway._

_"Both!" he replied, a little louder than he meant to. He took a deep breath as he brought his other hand over their entertwined hands. "I don't need anyone else but you, Addi." _

_"Mark, I don't need all of that. I.. I can't. I'm sorry." Addison darted her eyes to the wood beneath her feet to avoid his hurt-full gaze. "I'm sorry." she repeated again before removing her hand from his grasp and walking back into the house, hopefully to find Meredith so that they could leave._

**You've already won me over in spite of me**

**And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet**

"I've heard that before, Mark!" Addison frowned as she moved away from him, the playful banter nowhere to be found anymore.

"I made a mistake, Addi! And if I remember correctly, you didn't want to be exclusive! I remember being left outside in the cold by YOU!" he quickly stood up and took several steps towards the ocean, to keep himself from saying something that ruin the rest of the trip.

"YOU HOOKED UP WITH MEGAN ALEXANDER TWENTY MINUTES LATER, MARK!" She stood up and faced his back as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustation, trying to figure out how the conversation took such a bad turn.

**Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are**

**I couldn't help it**

**It's all your fault **

**You are the bearer of unconditional things**

**You held your breath and the door for me**

**Thanks for your patience**

_Addison made several circles around the downstairs looking for Meredith, before she made her way upstairs about twenty minutes later, hoping that she wouldn't walk in on something that she definately never wanted to see._

_She knocked on the first door, and did not hear a reply, so she opened it to find that it was an empty bathroom. She sighed as she closed the door behind her, and made her way to the next door. Once again, she knocked, and didn't recieve an answer. She opened the door, and a gasp quickly escaped her lips before closing the door and running down the stairs, and out of the front doorway, literally running into Meredith on the way, and not even bothering to stop to make sure she was okay. She could hear faint calls of her name, but she refused to turn back around. If Meredith saw her, she would want to know what was wrong, and she wasn't willing to talk about it. _

_Five minutes later, Mark made his way to her car, and sat in the passenger seat, without even looking towards her. "I'm sorry." he spoke so softly, it took a moment for Addison to even register what he'd said._

_  
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Mark. I just.. I didn't expect you to .. you know. so soon." she looked down at her hand at a ring her dad had given her several months earlier, and began twisting it around her finger._

_"Still, you shouldn't have seen it. I'm sorry." he frowned as he forced himself to look her way. He immediately regreted it when he saw that her eyes were brimmed with tears. "Addi... I.. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me." He suddenly wished he'd consumed atleast 3x the alcohol that he had so he could just blame it, but he couldn't. He was just upset about the rejection, and Megan was there, as usual. _

_"I know." she sighed as she wiped away a stray tear that'd escaped her right eye, despite all her will power begging it not to._

_"Are we okay?" he grabbed onto her hand lightly, still giving her the option to pull away._

_"Of course." she managed to smile in his direction. "You're my best friend, Mark. I know you." she nodded in confirmance._

_"I love ya, Addi." Mark squeezed her hand before leaning into kiss her cheek. "You know that, right?" He lifted her chin to meet his gaze._

_"I know." she smiled before pecking his lips quickly. "You should go back inside. I'm going to go home. Tell Mer she can call me if she needs a ride." _

_"Don't go, Addi. We can hang out." he offered a small grin as he held her eye contact._

_"Or you could come with me." she gave him her best offer before she broke the gaze and buckled her seatbelt._

_"Really?" he quirked an eyebrow._

_"Yeah." she laughed as she turned the keys in the ignition._

_"Alright. Let's go." he smile as he buckled his seatbelt. "I'll text Derek to get Mer." he added with a grin._

_"Good idea." she grinned as she gripped the wheel with her left hand, before moving their intertwined hands to the stick to put the car in reverse._

**You're the best listener that I've ever met**

**You're my best friend**

**Best friend with benefits**

**What took me so long**

"Look, this is our last trip together. Let's not fight, okay? Please?" Addison's vulnerable voice echoed off the waves, making the crack of her voice that much more obvious.

"We had fun that night, Addi. It wasn't all bad." Mark spoke into the wind, not yet willing to turn back towards her.

"I know that. But it wouldn't have if I would have agreed." she replied with the only response she could think of, knowing that it didn't even make sense.

"If you would have agreed, I would have been with you, outside, on that swing for the rest of the night!" anger was creeping back into his voice before he swallowed a large lump in his throat and turned around.

"We were freshman, Mark! If it wasn't that party, it would have been at another one!" she argued, trying her best to believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"Is that really what you think of me, Addi? Some guy that can't keep his pants on?" Mark's glare intensified considerably on her, causing her to take several steps backwards.

"I don't know, Mark. I've never seen you try!" Addison growled slightly in frustration as she looked towards the hotel for signs of Meredith and Derek returning, but not finding any.

"That's because I've never wanted to risk losing you!" he stepped quickly towards her, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

**I've never felt this healthy before**

**I've never wanted something rational**

**I am aware now**

**I am aware now**

It took several moments for Addison to realize what was happening before she pulled away. "Mark. . they are going to be back any minute!"

"I don't care." he smiled into her hair as he buried his face into her neck. "It's been too long!"

Addi couldn't help but laugh. "Mark, we went out like two weeks ago!"

"Exactly!" he grinned as he grasped his hands together behind her back.

"Dirty Mark! Dirty!" She laughed and shook her head slightly before pulling him back to the blanket.

**You've already won me over in spite of me**

**And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet**

**Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are**

**I couldn't help it**

**It's all your fault **

"Hold me?" she asked quietly once they'd laid down on the blanket seperately.

"I guess." he grinned before pulling her easily towards him, wrapping arm around her waist.

"I'm glad we did this. I'm glad we came. It was a good idea." she cooed softly as she looked up at the clear sky, wrapping her arms closely around her chest.

"Of course it was a good idea. It was mine!" he laughed before bringing the empty part of the blanket over them.

"You're impossible." she smiled before cuddling comfortably into his chest, trying her best to stay under the blanket.

**Please Review!  
**


	9. Confessions

**A/N: Okay, I know ya'll have been waiting for this chapter pretty much since the beginning! I'm so sorry for the delay. Things keep coming up! Anyway.. I hope ya'll like it! Either way, let me know! It's not really the fluffy stuff that you guys were expecting. But you have to remember that Mer just got out of a LONG relationship! With that said, enjoy!**

_Or we could jump in..._

Meredith and Derek had reached the hotel room before either said anything. Meredith was becoming more and more unsettled the longer he held his silence. Derek's silence always unnerved her, but this seemed worse than usual.

**Somewhere they're speaking**

**Somewhere they're coming in**

**Oh and it's rising in the back of your mind**

"Are you alright, Derek? You've been weird all day. It's freaking me out." Meredith eyed him for a moment before opening up one of her suitcases for a jacket.

"Yeah. Just been a long day." he offered a small smile in her direction, effectively jamming his hands into his pockets.

"Anything worth telling?" she threw a pair of flip flops onto the bed so that she could move around the full suitcase better.

"Nope. What about you?" he raised one of his hands to run through his hair.

"Actually.." Meredith smiled slightly but was cut off by the ringing of her cellphone. "Hold that thought." she mumbled as she grabbed her purse to find her phone.

_Josh's Cell_

**You never could get it**

**Unless you were fed it**

**Now you're here**

**And you don't know why **

**But under skinned knees and the skidmarks**

**Past the places where you used to learn**

**You howl and listen**

**Listen and wait for me**

**Echos of angels that won't return**

"Ugh. Hold on Derek." Meredith growled slightly before accepting the call. "What do you want, Josh?" she held the phone with her shoulder as she continued looking through her suitcase.

Derek could hear a mumbled voice through the phone, but he couldn't quite make out any of the words from the other side of the room. He'd walked away to give her some space, and was now angry that he didn't know what was going on.

"No. I can't really say that I miss you very much, Josh. Are you drunk?" Meredith's irritation level quickly skyrocketed from a four to an eleven on a scale of one to ten as she heard a female voice in the background mumbling the words come back to bed. "Are you kidding me, Josh? You call me after you went and screwed some no-name at a party? Are you being serious right now?" Derek was sure that Josh didn't have time to respond before he saw Meredith fling the cellphone across the room, landing only centimeters from the glass windows. Although, he had little time to process the throw due to the fact that just as quickly as the phone broke into peices, Meredith had fallen shakily to the ground, her head tucked closely in with the rest of her body. He was by her side, his arms already consuming her fragile body into his protective arms.

"Sh.. It's okay, sweetie." he cooed softly into her ear, gently stroking her hair with the one hand that wasn't wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping her close to his body.

"How can he do that to me, Derek? How can he.. how can he call me when he is literally with another girl? We just broke up yesterday!" she nudged her way closer into his embrace, effectively wrapping her arms around his neck for comfort that she couldn't rest without.

"I don't know, Mer." Derek sighed, adjusting to her movements as best as possible. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time she'd asked him those questions, well except for the broken up part, but loyalty was never Josh;s strong suit. Meredith seemed to be in denial about it to everyone, everyone except Derek, of course.

**He's everything you want**

**He's everything you need**

**He's everything inside of you**

**That you wish you could be**

**He says all the right things**

**At exactly the right time**

**But he means nothing to you**

**And you don't know why**

"Please don't leave me, Derek. Please." she pleaded softly into his neck, trying her best to hold in the sobs that were begging to overtake her body. She distracted herself the best she could by running her fingers through his hair in the back of his head, down to his neck.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mer." Derek insisted as a small smile crept on his face everytime her fingertips left his neck to return to a higher point in his hair, each one teasing his neck slightly, leaving it practically begging for more.

"But you are. You're leaving for college without me. What am I going to do?" a tear escaped off one of her eyelashes against all of her willpower, and immediately soaked into his neck.

"You will always have me, Mer. I promise." he kissed her forehead softly for assurance.

"You can't promise that, Derek. What if you meet someone in Seattle, and you don't need me anymore?" Meredith hesitantly lifted her head from his shoulder to meet his gaze, terrified of the answer coming.

Derek let out a small chuckle as he shook his head at her. "No one could ever mean as much to me as you do, sweetie." He smiled at her as he wiped away several wet strands of hair that'd stuck themselves to her face.

"I'm scared." she admitted shyly as her eyes shifted from him down to the floor that she was certain was not even clean enough for them to be sitting comfortably on at that moment.

"Do you remember prom?" Derek asked, a small smile playing on his lips as she stopped fidgeting around.

"Oh my gosh, Derek. I just want to forget!" Meredith laughed as she placed her hands over her eyes in an attempt to erase the image from her mind for forever.

**Waiting for someone to put you together**

**Waiting for someone to push you away**

**There's always another**

**Wound to discover**

**There's always something more you wish he'd say**

_It was four o'clock when Meredith and Teresa, Derek's mom, returned to the Shepherd's home after a long day of getting pampered at the only full- service salon in town. _

_"Thank you so much, Ms. Shepherd!" Meredith hugged the elder woman gently, trying her best not to mess up the make up that'd been perfected only an hour before, or the hair that the woman had spent two hours on. Meredith couldn't believe she was actually going to prom, she'd mocked the thing for years, and somehow Josh and the group had convinced her to go. Although she skeptical, after Teresa offered her services for the day, it was hard for Meredith to turn down. _

_"No problem, sweetie. Derek is in his room if you want to hang out with him untill we have to put the finish touches on your dress. By the way Meredith, you know you can me T!" She winked at the teenager before making her way down the hallway to the living room to join Robert, Derek's dad._

_Meredith waited untill Teresa was out of sight before rushing up the narrow set of stalls that led to Derek's room. Without even thinknig to knock, Meredith barged into his room happily only to walk in on Derek and another girl that Meredith never could remember her name on his bed. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Derek! I.. I'll go.. eat or something!" Meredith blushed before quickly making her way out of the room, being sure to close the door behind her, and running just as quickly, if not faster, down the stairs into the kitchen. She suddenly didn't care much about the make-up that'd been so perfect as she dug into the fridge for anything that would momentarily erase the scarring image that would forever be imprinted on her brain when she thought of her senior prom. _

_Before she could even get the lid off the container of fudge that she'd found in the freezer, Derek had made his way into the kitchen with only a pair of boxers on. "Mer. Oh my god. I.. " _

_She quickly cut him off by the raise of her hand. "Let's just.. forget about it, okay?" Meredith suggested with one squinted eye in his direction, already losing interest in the surely delicious fudge she'd just been content on consuming wholy. _

_"But.. It wasn't what.. " Words failed him as he hopelessly tried to explain the situation he'd caught himself in. The girl he loved had just walked in on him and his prom date before prom. How many people can say that?_

_"I should have knocked!" Meredith nodded, mostly to herself, as she replaced the lid onto the container so she could put it back into the freezer._

_"You look gorgeous!" He smiled at her once she finally let herself look in his direction._

_"I bet." Meredith blushes as she looks down at the floor. "Where's um.. "_

_"Michaela went home to get ready." Derek nodded as his cheeks turned a crimson red._

_"So, she's coming back later?" Meredith winced slightly, hoping that she could just pretend the whole thing hadn't happened, but knowing that Michaela wouldn't let it go. She would make inappropiate comments about it all night._

_"Yeah." Derek responded, a hint of regret in his tone, as he sat down in the stool beside her. "Save me the last dance?" _

_Meredith smiled as she nudged his shoulder. "Of course, if you can get away from Mike." Meredith giggled softly at the masculine nickname._

_"Mika!" Derek defended her, even though he wasn't sure why._

_"If that's your story, Derek." Meredith laughed with a shake of her head._

_"Well, you are my only girl!" he winked, placing his arm around her waist._

_"Yeah Yeah. Aren't you smooth!" Meredith grinned as she leaned into his embrace. _

**He's everything you want**

**He's everything you need**

**He's everything inside of you**

**That you wish you could be**

**He says all the right things**

**At exactly the right time**

**But he means nothing to you**

**And you don't know why**

"You are my only girl!" Derek echoed himself as he tightened his grasp around her waist. "Always." he kissed her temple softly.

"I love ya, Derek." Meredith smiled as she lifted her head and kissed his cheek. "You're the bestest friend anyone could ask for."

Derek's heart sank just as quickly as it'd risen, but he hid his disappointment quickly behind a smile and a small laugh. "Right back at ya, Mer."

"Ha. Yeah. I'm the good friend of us. I'm always the one being saved. The whiny one. What do I do for you?" she asked through small sniffles as she searched for an answer she was certain he couldn't give because the was Meredith Grey, the one always left behind, and he was Derek, the one who put her together every time.

"You're you." he responded simply, placing another kiss on her forehead.

"That's my point!" she threw her hands up in the air in frustration, obviously not seeing his point.

He sighed heavily as annoyance seeped in quickly. He removed his grasp from her waist to place her in front of him, eye to eye. "Stop acting like if you walked out of my life today that I would just be able to pick up the pieces and go on with my life. Stop acting like you dont know you have complete and absolute control over my heart. And MOST of all, stop acting like your oblivious to the fact that from the day we laid eyes on each other, we both knew nothing would ever be the same."

Derek's outburst not only took Meredith off guard, it absolutely shocked her. They'd danced around their relationship for years, practically since they'd come to the simultaneous conclusion that perhaps not everyone had cooties after all. Not once had he ever talked about anything more than a friendship between them, and he definately never was the one to bring it up. "Wh.. What? Derek.. I.. I don't think I can have this conversation right now."

**But you'll just sit tight**

**And watch it unwind**

**It's only what you're asking for**

**And you'll be just fine**

**With all of your time**

**It's only what you're waiting for**

"And I.. I can't NOT have it, Mer." Derek sighed as he stood up and began pacing the short distance between the bathroom and the door leading to the outside.

"Derek.." Meredith buried her face into her hands, trying her best to digest everything that'd just unfolded between them in the last minute. Her whole life had just changed. and there was nothing she could do about it. She hated change, change was her flipping enemy. Graduation was enough change to last her all summer, plus Josh. Now Derek. Derek was supposed to be her constant. He wasn't supposed to do this to her.

"Mer, I.. I've been in love with you since I was two years old. And yes I realize that I sound much more like Cory Matthews than any guy ever should in his entire life, but it's true. I was two years old, and in a crowded room, you're the only person I ever noticed in a daycare of 25 kids, and 6 teachers. You became my everything the moment you smiled at me, and offered me the tiniest wave before scooting over on your matt to make room for me. I loved you then, and I love you now, and there's nothing that can happen in the rest of our lives that can change it!" His pace finally came to a hault as he stood in front of her with his fingers deeply rooted in his think mane of hair.

"Derek, I'm not the girl that moved over on that ratty old matt! How can you love me? I'm.. I'm broken! And abandoned! If you're asking me if I loved the boy that held me in his tiny arms when I was four years old when my deadbeat of a dad broke his promise and never came back for me. Then of course, your answer is yes. If you're asking me if I love the boy who's been there to celebrate every major moment in my life, that is including when I started my freaking period when I was sleeping over at your house, then yes. If you're asking me I loved you the day that I pinned you up against the wall on Addison's tenth birthday and kissed you, then yes. But now? This conversation can NOT happen right now! I I.. I need to think. Addi.. Addi and Mark are waiting for us to come back!" She stood up and headed straight for the door, only for him to grab her elbow, pulling her back to him.

**Out of the island**

**Into the highway**

**Past the places where you might have turned**

**You never did notice**

**You still hide away**

**Anger of angels that won't return**

"Meredith!" he exclaimed, slightly overwhelmed by the conversation that was actually happening. He'd pictured this conversation thousands, hell probably millions, of times in his head, and not once did she confess her love that'd somehow died away. Nor did she run away from him without some big romantic kiss-like gesture. " I want to be the smile that graces your face when you see a blank wall, the first thought that travels through your mind before your eyes ever flutter open in the mornings, the long drive you always take every sunday afternoon to clear your head, usually before you come to my house for dinner, hell even the short walk that you like to take on Saturday mornings because you somehow think it's going to help your hangover even though it couldn't possibly. I want to be the very last voice you hear before you fall asleep, or the random phone call just because, the laugh that echoes off your bedroom walls when you're all alone, your perfect kiss- not the first kiss that was slightly uncomfortable and even more unnerving, the comfort hug you need just to take that last step for a big prize, you're second half, the sparkle that lights your eyes when you hear a song on the radio, everything that you need, Meredith, I .. I want to be your perfection."

By the time he was finished, tears were pouring out of Meredith's eyes, and she'd long ago buried her face into his chest. No one had ever said anything remotely close to that before in her life. She was utterly speechless, and speechless was not something used to describe Meredith- ever. She didn't even know what to do. She was suddenly afraid to move, afraid to suddenly fall from this obvious pedastool he held her on.

"What do you want me to say, Derek?" she whispered softly into his chest, all of her defenses melting away faster than she could possibly build them around him.

**He's everything you want**

**He's everything you need**

**He's everything inside of you**

**That you wish you could be**

**He says all the right things**

**At exactly the right time**

**But he means nothing to you**

**And you don't know why**

Derek pulled away slightly to look into her eyes. "I just.. I want to know what's the first thing you think of when you look into my eyes." he whispered, already slightly defeated.

"Fine! I'll admit it! You're that guy!" Her hands sprang out to the air in a vein attempt to speak with them. "You're the guy Derek, that I can't stop thinking about. The guy that makes me want to scream, the one who can absolutely make my day in a million ways, and ruin it just as easily. The one that I think of everytime I hear a cheesy cliche love quote that truly makes me want to gag. In case you were wondering, in case somehow you haven't figured it out, YOU'RE THAT GUY!!" she practically yelled the last part as she began to pace the floor that he'd previously occupied.

"THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?" he stopped her once again from possibly walking out the door, but this time grabbing onto her hand. Hopefully giving her the same sensation in her stomach as he got in his.

"The problem is my boyfriend of two years just called me with another girl in his bed! That's the f'ing problem, Derek! Now I have to go! I told you I didn't want to have this conversation right now!" Meredith stormed out of the room immediately after yanking her hand away from his, leaving Derek alone.

**I am everything you want**

**I am everything you need**

**I am everything inside of you**

**That you wish you could be**

**I say all the right things**

**At exactly the right time**

**But I mean nothing to you**

**And I don't know why**

As soon as the door slammed shut, Derek's eyes fell upon the jacket that was still in Meredith's suitcase. After a long sigh, he grabbed the jacket and ran after her.

It was only a couple of seconds before he caught up with her on the short bridge that connected the hotel cement walkway with the sandy beaches. "Meredith!" he called her several times before she turned around. Once she did, tears were still visibly falling down her cheeks, causing his heart to break all over again.

"You forgot your jacket." he mumbled softly, trying his best to refrain from any tears of his own falling, the task coming more and more difficult the longer he looked at her.

"Thanks." she offered a small smile before grabbing the hoodie and sliding it over her head. "Coming back to the beach?" she asked trying to be as normal as possible.

"No. I'm actually going to call my parents and tell them we made it. You know my mom is probably freaking out!" he let out a partial laugh before nodding in her direction and walking back towards the hotel.


	10. Reeling part 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry about the delay! This is MUCH shorter than my usual updates, but I wanted to get it out there. I always feel so bad that it takes so long! The next chapter should be out soon! Let me know what you think!**

_**Whole world could change in a minute**_

Meredith watched Derek walk away untill he was out of sight before she turned back towards the beach. After taking a deep breath, she replayed the previous conversation in her head. That guy!? She told him he was that guy!? And then ran out! What the hell?!

**I can't stand to fly**

**I'm not that nieve**

**I'm just out to find**

**The better part of me**

By the time Meredith pulled out of the internal war she'd waged on herself, she'd almost reached her two best friends, who were sitting cozily together on the blanket, neither of them had noticed her presence. She cleared her throat loudly to make her presence known before taking a seat on the blanket.

The intertwined duo were quick to notice Meredith's tears, and even quicker to spring to action. Meredith rarely made herself vulnerable, so they knew it was something big.

"Mer.. sweetie.. what happened?" Addison scooted herself out of Mark's lap to sit next to her best friend and wrap her arms around her shoulders.

"How did we get like this, Addi?" Meredith allowed her head to fall onto Addison's shoulder, effectively linking their arms together for a small trace of comfort.

Addison didn't have to ask what Meredith was talking about. She knew. They had talked endlessly how they avoided things until they ultimately blew up to disastrous proportions in their faces. After releasing a small sigh, she rested her chin on Meredith's head. "I don't know, sweetie." She cooed softly, rubbing soft circles on Meredith's back as she looked up at the standing Mark above them for help.

Mark frowned down at the scene, before he leaned down to plop himself on his knees in front of Mer. "Come here, babe." He opened his arms for her to fall into, which she did quickly after squeezing Addison's arm between her own.

Meanwhile back in the hotel room, Derek was laying on the bed that did not have Meredith's stuff strewn across it. He was holding his cellphone in his hands, trying to keep himself from calling his mom, and being a baby about what happened. Even more so, he was trying to stop himself from calling Michaela to make himself feel better. He was going back and forth between them in his address book, casting occasional glances towards the door, hoping that she'd come back for him, even if he knew he was kidding himself. He knew he'd picked a bad time, but he didn't know if he could ever get the courage to do it again. Apparently he should have tried.

He finally clicked out of the address book and carelessly threw the phone down on the bed beside him, letting out a small huff to irritation in the process. Just as he was about to get up to join the rest of them, his phone started ringing, All American's Rejects's "Dirty Little Secret" ringing loudly through the small hotel room indicating that Michaela was calling. She'd set the ring tone for herself, which he thought was slightly amusing. "Who has to know" echoed throughout the room before he picked up the phone, removing the guilty thoughts that none of his friends knew he was still seeing her out of his mind.

"Hello?" he answered, not quite sure if he could talk to her at the moment without spilling everything that'd happened.

"Hey you! How's Florida?" Her cheery tone made his stomach churn for a moment, before he calmed himself down.

"Great." he replied through gritted teeth, even though she didn't seem to notice since she only giggled in response.

**I'm more than a bird**

**I'm more than a plane**

**I'm more than some pretty face**

**Beside a train**

**and it's not easy to be me**

Once the embrace seemed to last a little too long, Meredith and Mark pulled away with a small chuckle. "Thanks Sloane." She smiled before sitting back down beside Addi.

"You're lucky I brought extra shirts!" Mark joked as he looked down at his mascara stained shirt that was slightly soaked where his collarbone would be.

"Fate is on your side." She grinned as she used her fingertips to wipe away the raccoon blotches underneath her eyes, effectively staining her fingers black.

"So, when are you going to tell us what's wrong, Grey?" Mark quirked an eyebrow in amusement that she was actually going to try to get away without telling them. "I happened to be very comfortable before you showed up all estrogen over dosed!"

"HEY!" she smacked his arm quickly, narrowing her eyes on him intently. Once she realized that neither of them were going to let this go, she sighed and began to play idly with her stained fingers. "Fine!" she deflated her blown up walls as she re-rested her head on Addi's shoulder.

Derek laid back on the bed to get comfortable as the feeling that this conversation could last awhile settled into his mind. "How's Toga without me?" he made an ill-attempt to laugh, but failed.

"Alright, what's with the brooding, Derek? Seriously? You sound like someone stole your i-pod and then threw it down the food dispenser!"

He was slightly surprised that she caught on. He didn't think she really knew him at all. He didn't really talk to her much. He mostly just listened to her ramble on untill she ran out of things to say and let him go. "I'm not 'brooding', Mika! I'm just tired! It was a long drive!"

"Let me guess. Meredith found out about Josh and Becca, and she took it out on you." Michaela rolled her eyes at the two of them. It was obvious to anyone that they were into each other. She was guessing that's why Josh started his fling with Becca, but she hated Josh, so who knows.

"Becca? What are you talking about, Michaela?" Derek was quickly growing irritated at the fact that this seemed to be common knowledge. Atleast now he had a name to the mumbling that'd set Meredith off.

"Rebecca Lawson. Her and Josh have been sneaking around for like a month. Don't act like your upset, here's your big chance!"

He was slightly thrown off by the accuracy of that accusation, but now wasn't the time to talk about himself, or what that meant for whatever had been between them in the last few months. "Nothing is going on between me and Mer!" he responded with the same response to that accusation he'd used since sixth grade. This was the first time he could possibly be lying, but now was not a time to consider possibilities. "Back on track, Mika! A month?!"

**Please Review!! Once again, SORRY so short!**

** Question- How do I get a beta??  
**


	11. Reeling part 2

**A/N! Thanks for everyone who reviewed!! This is part 2! Enjoy! Please let me know what you think!  
**

**snack- Thanks so much for the offer. Starting next update, I will PM them to you!! **

**I wish that I could cry  
fall upon my knees  
find a way to lie  
about a home I'll never see  
It may sound absurd  
but don't be naive  
even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed  
but wont you concede  
even heroes have the right to dream  
and its not easy to be me**

"Josh called." Meredith finally broke the silence that'd seemed to overwhelm the entire beach. Even the waves had stopped their rippling effect to listen to the tale of the girl with the tear-stained cheeks, and random strangers had long ago stopped making their way across the group.

"And?" Addison's grasp on Meredith tightened slightly, waiting for whatever the slime ball had done now. Meredith could see the anger rising in Mark's eyes, and for the first time, she had not intention of calming him down. For all she cared, Mark could beat Josh with his large muscular fists, and she would just smile and watch.

"He was with some slut that sounded like a man." Meredith pouted. Okay, so that wasn't exactly true. The girl actually had a very high pitched voice, one of those that hurts your ears slightly to hear, because you know it can't be real. Probably like her face, if she knew Josh. She remembered one conversation they'd had, and he was disappointed that she'd never had anything done. Yet at the same time, found it amusing that he thought she had. Apparently as a surgeon's daughter, she should have had SOMETHING done.

Addison couldn't help but laugh at the remark, while Mark just quirked his eyebrow. "Are you trying to say you don't like my voice, Grey? Because I will definately take that as an insult!" A small grin appeared quickly as her eyes fell on him, probably thinking of some smart ass remark to reply with. "No need to get feisty Mer, continue ur sob fest." Mark encouraged as nice as he could.

After a small, but intense, glare in his direction, Meredith turned her attention to Addison. "Then, I threw my phone against the wall, and I.. I think I broke it." she pouted her lower lip. The phone was her mother's graduation present to her. Apparently the phone hadn't even officially been released yet, the president of the company owed her mother a favor.

"Don't worry about the guilt-forsaken gift right now, Mer." Mark grinned as he squeezed her hands in his. "I know there's more to this."

"Then, oh my gosh you guys, I.. I.. you guys.. you won't believe it." Meredith removed her hands from Mark's to bury her face in them. "I can't believe what I did." After a moment, she looked back up at her worried friends and pleaded desperately with her eyes for them to understand without having to tell them. Unfortunately, she had no such luck. "I didn't mean for it to go like that. I swear. I was just upset. and In shock. I mean if that happened to one of you, you would be in shock too! It was just such bad timing! Why did he have to do this today? Why not wait until tomorrow or the next day? Why?" Her eyes filled back up with tears quickly, as she looked between her two friends for answers, only to find clueless and confused faces.

"What are you talking about, babe? What happened?" Addison was growing more and more worried about Meredith, and even more aware of the fact that Derek wasn't with them. "Are you talking about Derek, sweetie?" All Meredith could do was nod. She didn't really want to tell them everything that happened, because she was certain they would yell at her for reacting the way she did.

"Derek?" Mark's eyes bulged slightly as the pieces started to fall together. Then, anger started to seep in. Who the hell confesses their undying fairytale love to someone who just heard their 1 day ex b/f with another girl? He clenched his fists slightly at what it'd done to Meredith, before he realized how devastated Derek must be. He'd finally taken a chance, and it'd blown up in his face. Mark lifted Meredith's chin to become eye level with him before he spoke again. "Don't worry about Derek. Alright babe? I'll talk to him. I promise." After a nod from her, he leaned it and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll be back in a little bit. Alright?" Without waiting for response, Mark stood up and tried his best to run through the heavy sand of the beach to Derek.

**Up up and away away from me  
Well it's all right you can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy or anything  
I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naive  
Men weren't meant to ride  
with clouds between their knees**

"So how adorable was it?" Addison asked once Mark was out of earshot.

"Huh?" Meredith eyed her weirdly.

"His speech? Come on. It was Derek. I know he had a speech. Probably about all your little quirks that I'm sure even I don't know about. It was adorable wasn't it?" Despite Meredith's best efforts to hide it, a big smile overtook her features as she offered a small nod.

"I KNEW IT!" She exclaimed a little too loudly, before covering her mouth to hide her giggles, as well as embarrassment.

"I.. I told him he was that guy." Meredith's cheeks blushed slightly at her confession.

"That guy?" Addison laughed even harder. "You two are so cheesy sometimes, it hurts. It physically hurts, Mer. So what happened? Why are you out here? With me? Don't get me wrong, I love you girlie, but seriously."

"I ran out. Addi, he's Derek. Derek Shepherd! Our best friend! He.. he knows too much." Meredith sighed in defeat.

"And he loves you, anyway." Addison cooed happily, gently nudging Mer in the shoulder.

"What if he's just lonely?" Meredith asked, half-jokingly.

"You really don't think Derek could get a girl if he wanted to? Have you seen the boy's eyes, Mer? Seriously!"

Meredith quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "You don't like him, do you?"

The dream quickly went through her mind for a moment before Mark raced them away. With a smile, she shook her head no. "Nope. He's all yours."

"Mine?" Meredith asked, still unsure of if it was really a good situation.

"Yours." Addi repeated with more force.

**I'm only a man  
in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
I'm only a man  
in a phony red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me  
Inside of me, Inside of me, Inside of me  
Inside of me**

Mark made his way to the hotel room in record time to find Derek sitting up against the headboard of an empty bed. staring idly at his cellphone in one hand, as well as Meredith's broken phone in the other. "Hey buddy." Mark frowned at his best friend whose eyes were brimmed with tears.

Derek looked up at Mark for a moment before returning his gaze back to his hands. "It wasn't suppose to be like this, Mark." His voice was barely above a whisper, making Mark strain just to hear him.

"I'm sorry." Mark bounced gently off the door that he'd been resting against, and made his way to the bed, sitting down at the foot of it, facing Derek with only one shoulder. "So, how brutal was it?"

"She walked out without her coat." Derek sighed as he finally tossed the two phones down on the bed, landing only centimeters apart from each other, seemingly taunting Derek at the distance now placed between the owners.

"But.." Mark quirked his eyebrow, distinctfully remembering Meredith wearing it. "You went after her? Seriously?" Mark couldn't help but laugh at the crazy turn of events while him and Addison had sat together so peacefully.

"Oh hush. Like you wouldn't go after Addi." Derek's gaze narrowed for emphasis before the saddened glaze recaptured his expression.

"Not the point." Mark smirked before becoming more serious. "Listen Derek, you just, you didn't pick the best time." Mark tried to find the best words to comfort Derek, but at the end of every thought train, he realized there wasn't a whole lot he could say to make any of it better.

"When would be a good time, Mark? When she's leaving for college? I knew it was doomed! I shouldn't have ever told her!" He crossed his arms against his chest in a huff as he replayed the humiliating scene over and over in his head.

"You know that's not true. She loves you, Derek. She just.. give her some time!" Mark sighed, patting Derek's leg, hopefully for comfort.

"Time, time, time. That's all I ever hear about. Josh didn't care about time when he was sneaking around behind Meredith's back for the past month!" He didn't mean to tell anyone, he was just so annoyed. The instant the words left his lips, he knew it was a mistake. Mark's fists immediately clenched as he stood up, trying to release the tension building in his shoulders.

**I'm only a man in a phony red sheet  
I'm only a man looking for a dream  
I'm only a man in a phony red sheet  
And it's not easy  
Ohhh ohhhh ohhhhhhh  
It's not easy to be me**

Mark was livid. Back when Meredith and Josh started going out, Mark was the only person in the group who he even tried being nice to him. He never really fit with the group, but it was pretty obvious to Mark that Meredith wanted them to try, so he did. He came to the fast conclusion that he hated the guy as well. But he didn't cut his ties until he'd given the guy a good verbal.. warning about what would happen if he hurt Meredith. Two years later, Josh has had three black eyes from those encounters. A month? He had to be wrong. Even Josh wasn't that stupid, was he? The quicker the thoughts filtered Mark's mind, the quicker his pace escalated across the floor, and the harder his stomps were.

"Calm down, Mark. There's nothing we can do here!" Derek tried to sooth him, but not even expecting it to work, once Mark was mad, he was going to stay that way until he figured out a solution to the problem. There was not going to be a solution for at least two weeks when they returned to Saratoga.

"How dare he! What the hell was he thinking? He can't possibly be that stupid to think he was going to get away with it!" Mark took a deep breath before turning back to Derek. "Does Meredith know how long it was?"

Derek quickly shook his head no, reeling on the fact that Mark seemed to somehow be calming himself down, probably for Meredith.

"Alright. Well, we can't tell her. Alright? It'll just.. It'll just make things worse. Just.. Just avoid the topic completely. I mean it!" Mark pointed his finger authoritatively towards Derek until he got a nod in response. After another deep breath, Mark sat back down. "Sorry."

"No worries. I'm just still in the shock mode, I'll get to the anger eventually." Derek joked before swinging his legs to the carpet so that he was sitting side by side with Mark.

"So, did she avoid you completely, or did she actually acknowledge what was going on?" Mark grinned slightly at Meredith's expertise of avoidance.

"She.. I'm pretty sure she told me she stopped loving me when we were ten years old. Not quite sure. She was talking pretty fast." Derek let out a small laugh for the first time since the confession, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Are you THAT bad of a kisser, Derek?" Mark laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Shut up!" Derek punched Mark's arm, trying not to laugh but failing. "I was nervous! We were ten!"

"Right!" Mark laughed as he racked his brain for a new embarrassing nickname for his friend that he could torture him with it for at least the next few months.

"Why are we friends again?" Derek pouted slightly, crossing his arms against his chest in a huff.

"You love me." Mark chuckled before standing up. "Come on lover boy, let's go!" Mark insisted as he made his way to the door, expecting Derek to follow, and he did.

**Please review!!**


	12. Unexpected Surprise

_**A/N: Sorry it took so long! But I am 99.8 percent sure you are going to LOVE this chapter! Please Review and let me know what you think!**_

_Just one kiss could stop it's spinning_

_We could think it through_

_But I don't want to, if you don't want to_

The walk back to the girls seemed longer than both boys remembered. Maybe it was because of the nervous knots in both of their stomach refusing either of them from breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence between them. Or perhaps it was because neither were truly anxious to make it to the end of their destination, which in fact was getting closer and closer, despite their dragging feet.

**You wait, wanting this world**

**To let you in**

**And you stand there**

**A frozen light**

**In dark and empty streets**

Addison was the first to see the boys approaching, quickly jumping to her feet to dust off the random bits of sand that'd found their onto her clothes, despite the blankets not-so-shielding protection. "I'm starving! What about you?" Addison nodded in confirmation at her friend without waiting for a response. "Excellent! Up you go!" She smiled as she took Meredith's hand in hers, pulling her to her feet in one swift movement.

"Addi! How can you think about food right now?! Do you KNOW how weird the rest of this trip is going to be? The last thing I want to do.." Meredith's trailed off as she followed her friend's gaze to the two were probably already in earshot. "Hi." her cheeks flushed, despite her best attempts to keep them a normal color.

Addison grabbed the blanket off the sand, sloppily folding it over her arm before making her way towards Mark. "Time to get something to eat!" she smiled, instantly taking his hand in her own, causing him to turn around to head for the hotel once again, leaving Meredith and Derek in silence, with the exception of a song playing softly in the biting wind.

**You smile hiding behind**

**A God-given face**

**But I know you're so much more**

**Everything they ignore**

**Is all that I need to believe**

After several seconds of fidgeting, the silence was unnerving Derek more than he cared to admit. It was Meredith. They'd been best friends since they were two, surely they could talk about something other than what'd just unraveled between them.

"Shall we?" he nervously offered his arm for her taking as he nodded to the other duo that was already a good distance ahead of them.

The familiarity in his voice soothed Meredith's nerves long enough for her to smile and nod, engulfing his arms with her own. "We shall." She giggled as she started towards the hotel that she'd so recently fleed on a whim.

The two fell silent once again, but this silence much for comforting, and familiar. It was friendly, and despite how much that hurt Derek, he would take whatever he could get at this moment.

"Meredith.." he finally got up the nerve, only to be cut off by the shaking of her head.

"Not right now. Alright?" she turned her head towards him without stopping the walk, pleading silently for him to give her more time, which he agreed to, defeat evident in his own eyes. He learned last time that you could not force Meredith to have a conversation she didn't want to have, and it work to your advantage. It was Meredith's time, or no time at all.

"Okay." he frowned, his eyes falling on their synchronized walk through the heavy sand. Concentrating, well as best he could, on how the sand felt in between his sandals, and the bottom of his feet, as well as the way it squished between his toes. It was that or how her arm seemed to fit even more perfectly, if that possible, in his own that it did before. He decided that it was his brain playing tricks on him, and chased the thought from his mind, once again redirecting his attention to the seemingly never ending sand.

**You're the only one I ever believed in**

**The answer that could never be found**

**The moment you decided to let love in**

**Now I'm banging on the door of an angel**

**The end of fear is where we begin**

**The moment we decided to let love in**

It was an hour before the group left the hotel room to go to find a place to eat. None of them were really hungry but Addison figured that at least if they were eating, silence was acceptable. So, it was safe to say that no one was too enthusiastic when the car came to a halt in a Wendy's parking lot. Each zoned space fully out of their surroundings, into their own thoughts that had nothing to do with greasy hamburgers, and salty, cold French fries.

Derek waited for current song on the radio to end, before turning the car off, and opening the car door after glancing momentarily in the side view mirror at the backseat at Meredith, who was staring idly out of the window, eyes glazed noticeably over with sadness. She hadn't even noticed that the song was cut off, which was rare for her.

Clearing his throat, he watched as her body sprang to action, looking around in alert for what she'd missed in her trance. "What's going on?" her gaze met Derek's in the rear view mirror, and smiled softly at him. Fondly recalling the memory that she'd just indulged herself with. Bittersweet as it might be.

_Christmas time had always been Meredith's favorite time of the year since she was twelve. The first year her mom was out of town for Christmas Eve, Ms. T insisted that Meredith spend the holiday at the Shepherds, and Meredith had nothing to argue over, and so every since, she'd always spent the holidays with them. It wouldn't have been her first Christmas alone, her mom had worked many a Christmases, and she'd always managed to occupy her time with setting up all her presents that her mom had bribed her with, probably out of guilt that she had no clue as to how to raise a child. But that was the first year Ellis stayed in Atlanta, and Teresa hated the idea of Meredith being completely alone in her big house. Five years later, Meredith was seventeen, and still standing in Derek's front yard, looking up at the night sky as small flakes of snow fell onto rosy cheeks and reddened nose, as well as her red sweater that more than sufficed for a winter jacket for her small frame. Beside her stood Derek, who was brooding from when she informed him before dinner that she would be spending Christmas Day at Josh's house. He'd almost told her to go ahead and go, but his desire to be near her overwhelmed his pride, and so there he was, standing side by side staring at the sky. He was waiting for a falling star to pray that she would stay there the next day too, but he didn't see a star in the sky at all, much less one that would work miracles. _

_The shivers had long ago taken over Meredith's small body, and she'd been accustomed to the chattering of her teeth for nearly half an hour before she felt Derek wrap his arms around her, finally protecting her from the bitter cold, and much to her dismay from the miracle of snow. It never snowed in Saratoga, in fact it was the second time she'd ever seen snow in her life, but this was the first time she saw it with Derek, which somehow made it more magical than the first time when she saw it from a window of a foreign hospital. She'd been sitting in a waiting room somewhere up north for three hours when she finally wondered over to the only window in the empty waiting room. Her mother had made several of the interns keep her busy throughout the day, but since she was so quiet, she often found herself alone, with the exception , atleast she assumed they were interns, even at a young age of six, she'd learned to distinguish the difference in ranks of her mother's co workers by the colors of their uniforms, which she would later find out were called scrubs. And while she was amazed by the real snow she saw, comparing it to the only other source she had of it, to the movies, she could only wish that Derek was beside her. Shaking her head slightly out of the memory, she tightened her grasp around Derek's waist, making sure that her hands were underneath his heavy jacket. "It's snowing, Derek." she smiled against his chest, knowing that there was no one else in the world she'd want to spend this moment with, not even Josh._

_"Merry Christmas, Meredith." Derek smiled as he placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head, subtly protecting his nose from the bitter cold that seemed to bite away at it the longer he stood out there. _

_"I'm glad I'm here. I've missed you, Derek." Meredith nudged her way closer to him so that she could hear the rapid beat of his heart through his jacket._

_"Let's pretend winter isn't here." He sighed, hating the fact that they'd somehow allowed themselves to drift apart slightly since she started dating Josh. It wasn't intentional exactly, he just truly hated the guy, and for some reason Meredith took him everywhere. Sure they still made time for each other, well more like she made time for him, he would have dropped anything to spend time with her, but they both knew it hadn't been the same since school started, and the relationship blossomed._

_"Can we pretend that the snow isn't the only thing that's falling fast?" Despite Meredith's best efforts, tears flowed freely out of the corner of her eyes, but thanks to the freezing temperature, the hot moisture never made it's way onto Derek's jacket, and if it did, he didn't feel it. He held her tightly for several minutes, trying to remember every single detail from the way the wind accompanying the snowflakes caused her lavender shampoo to float aimlessly in the air, seemingly caught in the trees around them, down to the way he could feel her fingers latched tightly together on his bare back, or the way she made a perfect spot for her head against his chest, every bit seemed magical to him, and he didn't want to forget a bit of it. He refused to. _

_"Nothing else here is falling, Mer. Nothing." He pulled away slightly, placing his hands on both sides of her face to cup it in such a way that she had no choice but to look him in the eye and believe him. "Nothing." he confirmed once again with a smile before placing a small kiss on her forehead. She relished in the warmth of his breath that left his slightly chapped lips on her skin, closing her eyes to hopefully intensify her other senses._

_"Promise?" she whispered, not quite ready to open her eyes to the reality that'd become her life._

_"On my right hand." Meredith couldn't help but giggle. Derek had talked about becoming a doctor since she could remember, and then all of a sudden a week ago he'd told her that he was considering a career in writing. _

_"Well then, you better keep that promise if you're going to write that great American novel about me." she giggled at her joke as she watched his eyes dance in amusement, or maybe it was possibilities. She wasn't quite sure._

Two weeks later, he informed her that writing, after all, was not going to be his calling, and it was never mentioned again. She spent a week praying that whatever he decided to go into, that his right hand would be critical.

"You ready?" Mark rubbed her arm softly, trying to silently assure her that everything would be alright. After a smile in his direction, she nodded and opened her car door to exit the car.

**I wish**

**Wishing for you to find your way**

**And I'll hold on for all you need**

**That's all we need to say**

**I'll take my chances while**

**You take your time with**

**This game you play**

**But I can't control your soul**

**You need to let me know**

**You leaving or you gonna stay**

After ordering their food, the four sat down in the deserted restraunt at a booth. Addison slid into the booth beside Mark on pure habbit. Not registering the problem, she quirked an eyebrow at Meredith's standing form. "Mer, sit.. oh."

Derek sighed as he looked up at Meredith who seemed frozen in her spot. "Meredith. I don't bite. Sit."

Meredith offered a faint smile as she complied with his demands. Once they were all settled, the four actually fell into familiar territory of banter and sarcastic jokes. Each one only met with a funnier comeback. Pretty soon the nights events that'd led them to this place had been forgotten, and replaced with plans for the days ahead. Jet skis, tans, and inevitably lots of drinking.

Addison's eyes traveled to the nearby window to find a black 2004 convertible Mustang parked in the lot, causing her to break out in giggles. She could feel Meredith's and Derek's eyes on her which only made her laugh even more. Mark followed her eyes to the window and mumbled something before placing his head into his hands, shaking it back and forth. "No Addie! No one remembers!"

Addison's giggles died down long enough to nudge Mark's shoulder with her own. "Oh come on, Markie. You got to admit, it's pretty funny!" she rested her head on his shoulder, the smile still plastered shamelessly on her face.

"What's so funny??" Meredith eyed them before turning to Derek for an answer, that he obviously didn't know either.

"Addison thinks it's funny that i totaled my brand new car the first day I got it sophomore year, and every time she sees a mustang, she breaks out into hysterical giggles!" Mark muttered, trying to stay still so she wouldn't move.

"I remember that! I thought Mandy was going to kill you!" Derek laughed, remembering the phone call he received from her that day.

"Oh please, Derek. The only reason she called you was because you were the only one of us with a license!" Meredith laughed, knowing what he was thinking.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Mark insisted for the 100th time since it happened.

"Mark, sweetie, there wasn't anyone else on the road!" Addison patted his leg softly, giggling at his persistence.

"I HYDROPLANED!" He straightened his arms out in front of him across the table to show that he was serious.

"Sorry Mark. I'm pretty sure it wasn't raining." Meredith laughed as she reached across the table to pat his arm. "It's okay, babe. Really. Some people are just bad drivers!" she nodded her head in assurance, trying to seem as sincere as possible.

"I HAVEN'T WRECKED SINCE!" He pouted, folding his arms across his chest. No one believed he could drive, and it made him mad.

"That we know about.." Addi chimed in, quickly receiving a soft stomp of her toe. "OW!" she pouted, lifting her head from his shoulder in defiance.

"You would notice a missing car!"

**There's nothing we can do about**

**The things we have to do without**

**The only way to feel again**

**Is let love in**

**There's nothing we can do about**

**The things we have to live without**

**The only way to see again**

**Is let love in**

Two and a half hours after their eerily silent arrival, the group was kicked out, officially anyway, of the restaurant because they were "closing." Although, the group was certain the two guys were just angry about the four drinks that'd spilled on the already mopped section of the store, and apparently the rare customers that did enter were quickly scared away by the loud "racket" that they were making.

It only took about 10 minutes for them to reenter the hotel room, Meredith's stuff still scattered about, causing her to quickly spring into action, repacking the suitcases before throwing them on the floor closest to the wall.

"I'm not tired yet, guys!" Mark pouted as he watched Meredith plummet onto the bed, causing a small squeak to escape the mattress.

"Me neither." Addi sighed, looking around the room for something to do, but not having any luck. "I think I'm going to go take a walk." Addison turned her attention to Mark, not so-subtly hinting that he was going to go to. When he didn't get the hint, she quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the still partially opened door.

Once the door shut behind them, Meredith's laughter filled the room, causing Derek, who was sitting at the table across the room, to raise his eyebrows in confusion at her. "What's so funny?"

"She thinks she's actually subtle!" Meredith laid down, crossing her arms loosely on her stomach, her head propped up on three fluffy pillows so she could keep an eye on Derek's movement. She couldn't handle anymore surprises that night.

"What do you mean?" Derek scratched the back of his head, eying her as if she had three heads.

"Never mind." Meredith giggled as she relaxed, realizing that maybe on she knew what Addison was doing.

"Wait now, you can't do that!" Derek laughed, standing up from his chair to make his way over to her bed. Plopping himself effectively in the center, even with her knees, before she scooted herself into a sitting position.

Meanwhile, Addi and Mark were making their way to the beach, their fingers still intertwined in a tight grasp. 'I'm sorry about this trip turned out for you, Mark. I know this meant a lot to you."

Mark chuckled softly, shaking his head at her. "Addi, it's the first night. This trip isn't ruined! Plus, tonight wasn't too bad. We're here, aren't we?"

Addison smiled as she looked down at the crashing waves against their feet before meeting Mark's gaze. "We are." She nodded, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

"Thanks for coming, Addi. I know I practically forced you, but still." Mark grinned, pulling her body into his, removing his hand from hers to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.

"You didn't force.. Okay. Maybe you did a little." She laughed, leaning further into his embrace. "But I would have come anyway."

"Good to know." He grinned, placing a soft kiss in the midst of her hair right above her temple.

**You're the only one I ever believed in**

**The answer that could never be found**

**The moment you decided to let love in**

**Now I'm banging on the door of an angel**

**The end of fear is where we begin**

**The moment we decided to let love in **

Meredith wasn't sure why she'd moved away from him. It was Derek, her best friend, and a part of her knew that. But another part, a bigger part at the moment, wasn't seeing him as just Derek. He was Derek, the love of her life. Even at the age of 18, she knew that, which possibly freaked her out even more than anything. She watched as his face fell, causing her to instantly lay back down, patting the spot next to her, demanding that he follow her suit. He smiled softly at her before obeying, quickly readjusting his body next to hers on the rather small bed. But then again, it was a cheap hotel. Not that he was complaining about the lack of space, he was pleased, but he was just slightly unnerved about the turn of the events of the day.

"So, what's new?" he tried to ask without laughing, but failed, as his stomach began to ache with want of release.

Meredith's arm quickly flung to his, making a popping noise against his forearm. "Not funny, Derek!" she fought the grin forming on her lips as she returned her attention to the ceiling. Anything was better than looking at him at the moment. Not only was he Derek, but she'd just gotten mad at Josh for hooking up with someone so soon, she couldn't do the same thing, no matter how tempting it was. Could she? No, she couldn't she reminded herself for the hundredth time since he'd sat on the bed. Problem was that the longer she inhaled the scent of his cologne, the harder it was for her to listen to that part of her. She dropped her ams to her sides, trying her best to keep them to herself.

Without even thinking, Derek laced his fingers through hers, but his eyes quickly bulged as he felt her body tighten, making him wish that he could turn back time 5 seconds. He was very thankful when she relaxed back after a moment, and allowed his grasp on her small hand.

It was something he'd done thousands of times before, but for some reason, this time sent chills up and down her spine, causing goosebumps to pop up on her arms, sending her hairs to stand on end. She cast a glance in his direction to see if he noticed, but he seemed to be too nervous to notice, making her relax slightly, despite the knots churning the insides of her stomach. Losing the battle against herself, Meredith redirected her eyes, once again, to the ceiling, counting the squares, which she now realized were a slightly off color of white, or atleast they seemed to be. Quickly getting grossed out about the idea, she physically shook it out of her head, starting back on number one of the squares in the corner of the opposite side of the room, right above the doorway. One, Two, Three..

"Meredith?" his voice cracked at least twice in just her name, but she seemed more upset that he'd disrupted her counting.

"Yeah?" she blew out soft wind of air to remove her fallen bangs from her eyesight in his direction before she noticed his palms becoming clammy, forcing her to offer him a soft smile.

"There's 152. It's a 12 by 12. Plus the eight in the prep area." He courageously propped himself on one elbow, facing her as he watched her reaction, switching her hand from his left to the right, once again intertwining them.

Going against all of her better judgment, Meredith tightened her grasp on his hand as she propped herself up also, meeting his gaze with just as much, if not more, intensity. It was hard not to acknowledge her feelings for him when he answered the questions that she never even asked. The silence between them was consuming, but she loved it. It almost drowned out the Sheryl Crow song playing in the background, but it was just enough to remind her that this wasn't a dream. A reminder that she deemed necessary as she lost herself in his baby blue eyes.

"Derek." His name came out as more of a whisper than it did to get his attention, but it did none the less.

"Yeah?" His eyes traveled down to his lips, his own suddenly seeming very chapped, inevitably forcing him to lick them for moisture, at least that's what he told himself.

She brought her free hand to his cheek, gently stroking from his ear lining down to the corner of his lips, that'd formed into a small smile at her touch.

_**I have a face I cannot show**_

_**I make the rules up as I go**_

_**It's try and love me if you can**_

_**Are you man enough to be my man?**_

"I'm sorry." A tear was developing in her eyes, casting a glassy haze across them.

"Aw, Sweetie!" Derek cooed, his smile fading from one of joy to concern, bringing his hand to her face to wipe away any tears that may fall. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I.. I shouldn't have ambushed you. It's my fault." He nodded his head as he brushed away any hairs that got in the way of their gaze.

"I do, though Derek. I do. I love you so much. I promise. I just.." Tears spewed from her eyes faster than he could wipe them away, causing her to collapse onto her back looking up at him as he hovered over her.

"Breathe sweetie." He cooed softly as his hand began massaging her hips softly to comfort her. In a matter of mere moments, her breathing slowed, and her tears ceased, causing both of them to smile softly at each other.

"Why aren't you as scared as I am?" she whimpered as she brought her hands to the collar of his polo shirt, fixing it repeatedly, starting from the back, and running her hands through it till she reached the parting in front.

"Because this is it for me, Mer. You're it."

Without another word, Meredith's hands rested on the back of his neck, pulling him down on her, his lips crashing directly onto hers, just as she'd planned. The kiss was soft at first, each unsure of what was happening, but neither willing to stop it from happening. Both of his hands fell to her hips, playing with the ends of her shirt as her fingers ran mercilessly through his wavy locks. Each stroke only pulling him closer to her.

_**When I've shown you that I just don't care**_

_**When I'm throwing punches in the air**_

_**When I'm broken down and cannot stand**_

_**Will you be strong enough to be my man?**_

Neither of them were thinking any longer. Instincts and hormones were in overdrive, and by far in more control than either of their brains. Meredith lifted up just enough so he could remove her shirt before laying back down, his hands finally finding the courage to roam, mostly just because he no longer had a hymn to concentrate, more like fumble, on.

Just as his hands had found the clasp for her bra, the hotel room opened, revealing two stunned friends, who immediately broke out in hysterical fits of laughter. Meredith's cheeks blushed a crimson red as she began to search frantically for her shirt that'd been removed without even a second thought of where it'd landed.

It took Derek a moment to register what just happened, Prom flashing through his mind before he removed his hand from her bra, and swatting the two away. "GET OUT OF HERE!" He tried to fight back the laughter from breaking through. It really wasn't funny at all, he was just certain that it only happened to him.

The door quickly shut and Derek reluctantly rolled over off of her, landing on her shirt. "Um. Here!" he blushed as he handed her the small garment. She quickly grabbed it before running into the bathroom mumbling oh my god over and over again.

By the time she reentered the room, Mark and Addison were sitting on the other bed, trying their best not to make any faces, but failing miserably.

"Stop!" Meredith insisted before breaking out into laughter of her own as she casted a glance at Derek who was blushing too.

**Song in bold is Let Love In by Goo Goo Dolls**

_**Song in b/i is Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow**_

**Please Review!**


	13. Joys of Tanning

**A/N: Thanks SO much for the reviews guys! They made me soo happy! I've never gotten that many for one chapter before! I was practically glowing! Seriously! You guys are awesome! Sorry it took so long to get out, but I did try to get it out faster! Work is BAD! lol **

**Clarisse- Your English wasn't bad at all! Very easy to understand:) I'm so glad you enjoy this story! I hope that you will review again:)**

_**We could keep things just the same**_

_**Leave here the way we came**_

A week had passed since the group's rocky arrival. For the most part, everything was the same. Well, except for Meredith and Derek's newfound displays of affection. The other two had just smiled it off, and let it go. Not only did it make their friends happy, it was much easier for them to get away with their displays as well. Sure, they'd gotten a few odd glances, but they'd always been affectionate, so they just shrugged them off.

**Late last night I was looking through pictures. Flooded with memories I lied on the floor.**

**Then spread them around like friends at a party. Their faces remind me of all that I've known. Still I can't forget**

Mark walked up to the two girls, who had been laying out by themselves for the past two hours, determined to get Addison to go swimming with him.

"Hello ladies." Mark grinned as he leaned over to get his towel beside Addison, water inevitably dripping from his body onto her. His smile brightened as he watched her eyes dance as they took in his appearance.

"You're dripping on me, Sloane!" Meredith whined as she pulled herself up to a sitting position. At least this way, the water would only get on her feet.

"Sorry Mer." Mark laughed as he watched her wipe away the easily countable drops of water that'd landed on her.

"No he's not. He does it on purpose." Addison smirked up at him, waiting for his invitation to join him. He'd asked three times already, and she was actually considering agreeing this time, well if he asked nicely.

"Funny Addi. Really." Mark glared playfully at her before taking a seat on her towel. "So, are ya'll having fun doing the same thing ya'll have been doing all week?" He laid back, resting his head in Addi's lap.

"Of course. We're lazy. Leave us alone." Addi smiled as she ran her hands through his wet hair, her fingernails only touching his scalp just enough to tease him. Meeting his gaze with a longing smile, she decided to take the initiative this time.

"Wanna go swimming with me, Mark? I think it's time to cool off!" With only a wink to encourage him, he was quickly back onto his feet, offering her his hands to lift her up.

**All the hush who it was. All the fiction and lies all the tears and the laughs take a walk through the past. You and I hand in hand as we look at this thing called us.**

_Addison had been sitting in her room alone for an hour fretting about prom. Well, she'd been fretting for a week, but Meredith had left her house an hour ago, so now she was just fretting alone. She'd tweezed her eyebrows twice, neither of them were actually needed. Mark still hadn't asked her to go with him. He always asked her. It was an unspoken tradition, wasn't it? Didn't 4 years make it a tradition? If it didn't, it should! Plummeting down onto her bed, there was a loud squeak coming from the mattress, quickly followed by the sound of her arms crashing against a flat stomach. The intensity of the noise easily shadowed the sound of someone knocking on the door. Fortunately for Addi, Mark had never been one to wait for her to approve his entrance._

_"Hey babe. What's the occasion?" Addison lifted her head instantly at the sound of his voice, instantly flying into a sitting position, running her hands through her hair nervously as she looked down at the clothes she was wearing, just in case._

_"Mark. Hey. What.. what are you doing here?" Addi stammered slightly on her words as she finally came to a halt in her movements, allowing him time to get comfortable before she adjusted to it._

_Mark easily made himself comfortable on her bed, resting his head comfortably on her lap, as he had many times before, and watched as his fingers fumbled nervously with each other. Only the sweet sound of her comforting voice shook him from the overwhelming nervousness that'd consumed his stomach. He didn't know why he was so nervous, he probably didn't even need to ask. But he'd heard that Jacob Wheeler was going to ask her, and there was no way in hell he was going to let that happen. Jacob was a nice guy, and he probably wouldn't even try to kiss Addison the whole night, from fear of being completely shot down, but that still didn't rest his nerves about her going. He was too nice to say no to for no reason. He wouldn't, couldn't let that happen. "Well you know, prom is coming up."_

_Addison's throat immediately plummeted into her stomach, and she fought hard to keep the confident smile on her face. She had to brace herself for this conversation. He'd asked someone else to prom. She just had to face it. He had every right to. They weren't a couple. Who's fault is that, she chastised herself harshly. "Yeah. I know. I don't think I'm going." Okay, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, but it beat the hell out of him telling her about his date first. She wasn't going to let him win that easily, she just wouldn't._

_"Oh." Mark was suddenly at a loss for words. He was blown off before he even asked by his best friend! How great did that feel!_

_"Yeah. I mean it's just prom. I've been before! Plus, it's not like I have a date!" Mark's smile instantly reappeared as he met her eyes for the first time since he'd laid in her lap. Sitting up to calm his nerves, he turned towards her, grabbing her hands to caress in his own. Her hands had an amazing effect on him._

_"So, if you had a date, you would consider going?" Addison's throat finally returned to it's god placed spot as she smiled at him, silently nodding her head._

_Mark smiled at her, standing up, but never once releasing his grasp on her hands. Once he was upright, he brought her hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on them, reassuring himself that she would, in fact, say yes._

_"Will you go to prom with me, Addi?" Despite the fact that his voice cracked, he was certain that he'd gotten the words out in a logical order, and that they were actually understandable_

_Addi's face lit up as she jumped to her feet, instantly releasing his grasp to wrap her arms around his neck. It took him a moment, but he quickly felt her chin nudging his neck in a nodding motion, causing him to tighten his grasp around her waist to pull her off the ground, swirling her around in a circle, as a large grin overtook his features. He was going to take Addison Montgomery to their senior prom._

**Late last night I was pacing the hallway.**

**Reading the letters you'd signed X and O**

**I turned out the lights and imagined you with me. I tried my hardest to cry but it just wouldn't come. Still I can't forget**

**All the hush who it was. All the fiction and lies all the tears and the laughs take a walk through the past You and I hand in hand as we look at this thing called us.**

She braced herself before she grabbed his hands, knowing that in a moment, she would pretty much be flying from the pull-up. Once she'd steadied herself standing up, with Mark's help, she re-grasped one of his hands, and darted for the water, laughing as Mark struggled to keep up as his feet dug further into the scorching sand than hers.

"This isn't very fair!" He whined as he finally closed the space between them, instantly lifting her off the ground by her knees, causing her to let out a shrill scream as he hovered her body over the water.

"Yes, it was! It wouldn't have been fair if I ran off without you. You better not drop me in this ocean on my ass, Mark. I mean it." She glared at him fiercely for a moment before replacing it with an innocent smile, tightening her grasp around his neck. If she was going down, he was definitely going down with her. It didn't even matter that he was already wet, she just wasn't doing it alone.

"Who said anything about dropping you?" His eyes screamed evil intentions, and she was not feeling safe in this position at all. Not only that, his infamous smirk was in place, and well, that was NEVER good for her- ever.

"You think you're innocent. You're not, Marcus Sloane. Your eyes scream evil. So I suggest you place me down ON MY FEET, right now!" He knew the instant that she said his last name, that she wasn't playing. Meredith had been calling him by his last name their whole friendship, but Addi rarely used it, much less Marcus!

He slightly pouted his lower lip out at her, losing the grin on his face as well. "But baby.."

Addison couldn't quite hide the smile that'd formed. He rarely used the pet name, but when he did it always made her go soft, mostly due to the butterflies swirling in her stomach.

He was quick to notice her eyes soften, and his smile reappeared just as fast.

"That's cheating!" She narrowed her eyes on him, annoyed at herself that she'd let him win that easily. But two could play that game, as her eyes once again softened to match his, but also glazed over with moisture, as her bottom lip began to quiver. "Baby.."

Mark knew she was just playing, but his heart broke just the same. He'd been forced to sit through a lot of chick-fliks with Addi, and he'd seen a lot of women cry, but none of them made him want to cry too. But every time Addi's eyes glazed over as they had, he just wanted to cry too. Not that he would ever admit that, especially to her. Letting out a sigh, he gently placed her on her feet at the edge of the water. "Happy?"

Her eyes quickly cleared as a smile overtook her features. Nodding her head, she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I win every time!" she giggled softly before turning around and making her way further into the water.

**All the hush who it was. All the fiction and lies all the tears and the laughs take a walk through the past You and I hand in hand as we look at this thing called trust. Still I can't forget All the hush who it was. All the fiction and lies all the tears and the laughs take a walk through the past You and I hand in hand as we look at this thing called us. All the hush who it was. All the fiction and lies all the tears and the laughs take a walk through the past You and I hand in hand as we look at this thing called trust**.

Derek made his way onto the beach, and even at a distance, he could see the curves of her body destroying the smooth lines of the sand that seem indestructable, despite the wear of people and animals alike. Her dirty blonde hair, despite being pulled back into a loose ponytail, still flew in the soft wind, and her sun glasses that were placed on the top of her head seemed to fall every other moment, causing her to get flustered. She was beautiful. He still couldn't believe everything that'd happened over the last week. She was his. Really his. Not just his best friend, or his soulmate that she wasn't aware of, she was his 100 percent, and he loved every moment and aspect of it.

It'd been so perfect, he was afraid to return home. Back to Josh, and his secret that he had yet to tell anyone other than Mark, and back to Michaela. He hadn't talked to her since that first night. He was sure she would understand, she'd never been the one in denial about his feelings for Meredith, but it still wasn't something he was looking forward to telling her. She'd been his comfort blanket. When he told her, that was going to be gone, and he wasn't quite ready to give it up. Not that he would EVER cheat on Meredith, he wouldn't, she was everything he'd wanted his whole life. He just wasn't quite certain how she would handle things back home. Everything was going to change when they got back, and quite frankly, change scared the hell out of Derek Shepherd.

They hadn't actually talked about the specifications of what they were. Derek figured out from the big blowout that Meredith wasn't exactly thrilled about jumping into another relationship, but after several uninterrupted sessions of kissing, and a lot of coaxing later, she'd subtly informed him that she was his, even if she never said the words. He didn't need the words, at least not yet. Maybe after she dealt with all the drama that Josh was sure to bring back home. He just hoped that it didn't explode in his face that he didn't tell her. Fate wasn't that cruel to him was it?

"Hey baby." He cooed softly as he laid down beside her, immediately intertwining their fingers. The first time he'd used the pet name, it was sort of in the heat of the moment, but after he said it once, he just liked the way it sounded when he talking about her, so now he used it more regularly. At least when they were alone. She would probably have him castrated if he said it in front of Mark and Addi. Baby steps.

A soft giggle escaped her parched lips before she turned her head to him. "Hey you." Her voice was slightly teasing him, and he was certain she wasn't even meaning to. He was definitely positive that his heart rate doubled, if not tripled as she scooted herself closer to him, close enough to feel the warmth of the sun radiating off his skin onto hers, making the goosebumps on his arms seem strange and out of place, but he didn't care. He was happier than he could remember ever being.

"Miss me?" he whispered softly as he propped himself on one elbow to lower himself down enough to kiss her. The kiss was supposed to be short, mostly just one out of greeting, but like the rest of the kisses they shared, it didn't quite end after a few short seconds. Before either of them realized it, his body had been firmly placed on hers, burying her further into the sand.

Finally tearing apart for air, she giggled as she brought her lips to his ears. "Apparently not nearly as much as you missed me." With that, she gently pushed him back onto Addison's towel and readjusted her body so that the sun would hit her in all the right places.

"Tease!" He joked as he too relaxed himself in the heat of the sun, only glancing momentarily at his two best friends having a water fight in the ocean.

"Well you know, I could stop." she smirked, sitting up as she decided that it was time to reapply the tanning lotion.

"That would be even worse!" he laughed, taking the bottle from her hands before sitting behind her, his legs spread out on either side of her.

"I can do this myself you know." she grinned as she flipped her ponytail onto the top of her head.

"So can I." he confirmed as he began rubbing the oil softly on her back, not once receiving a protest.

**Please Review!**


	14. Motherly Love

**A/N: This is the result of sitting in a car for 8 hrs. Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks SO much for the reviews, everyone!**

**_With nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to_**

Ellis Grey was an amazing surgeon. Some might call her a miracle worker. But to Meredith, she was just another person on a long list that'd forgotten about her in the daily struggles of life. But she wasn't just a random number on the list, she was number two, following Thatcher, Meredith's father that she hadn't heard from since he left her on the front porch crying. Ellis was number two simply because at least she kept the money flow open when she left her.

**They set me up real nice here in the corner  
I've got my very own self to keep my mind and body warm**

Either way, at the end of the day, the only person Meredith could depend on was herself, and her three best friends, of course. Her last phone conversation with Ellis had long been forgotten when her phone rang during dinner the next night at a Chinese restaurant that was only about a mile away from their hotel. When "Ellis" lit up the screen, she figured it was Thomas, her mother's personal assistant, to make sure Meredith wasn't running low on cash. Besides Dr. Shepherd, Derek's father, Thomas was the closest thing to a father figure Meredith had, and she'd never actually met him.

**They set me up real nice in the back room  
Even let me eat the shit they borne**

"Meredith?" The stern voice made Meredith immediately sit up straight in her chair, her face losing all expression that'd been full of hope and excitement just a moment before, mostly because Derek's feet hadn't left her since they sat down.

"Mom?" Meredith's voice almost shook in fear. Why would she be calling? At night, none the less. They'd just talked a week ago. The sadness of that thought did not go unnoticed by Meredith, but it was simply all she knew to expect. "Everything okay?"

"We need to talk, Meredith." Meredith's eyes bulged noticeably as she quickly made her way out of the booth that she'd shared with Addi, reluctantly detangling her legs from Derek's as she darted her eyes quickly to each of them for reassurance. It was hard to reassure Meredith for the unknown though. It wouldn't be put past Ellis to suddenly make Meredith move to Atlanta, which had been everyone's worst fear since they were 12.

**Don't nobody know any better, I suppose  
Ain't nobody looking really  
But the winter's getting cold and I need**

"Yeah. Alright. What's up, mom?" Meredith made her way cautiously out of the restaurant into the warm night air that offered no comfort to her except for the faint breeze that seemed to never cease, blowing her hair out of her eyes long enough for her to spot a bench on the side of the building that was currently unoccupied.

"Are you listening? This is important!" Ellis had never been known for her patience, once of the downfalls of being a surgeon. She didn't want to have this conversation at all, much less on the phone. She didn't really think it was necessary, it's not like Meredith was a little girl with some hold on a fairytale fantasy about her parents somehow reconnected after over a decade, at least she hoped she wasn't, and Meredith didn't tell her about her sex life. Why should she have to tell Mer about hers? Well, that was simple, really. Ellis Grey had fallen in love- again. Well she thought it was love. The only person she had to compare it to was Thatcher, and that was just a joke. She never even respected Thatcher, much less loved him.

"I'm all ears, mom." She sighed, already uncomfortable with the length of the conversation, and it apparently hadn't even begun.

"Well you know I'm coming back to the house in Saratoga next week, right?" Meredith suddenly felt like a 5 yr old all over again. Okay, maybe she didn't remember that it was next week, but still!

"Sure. What's your point?" Meredith learned long ago not to expect her mother's presence, even if it was promised. It only led to a letdown, She'd had enough of those in her life.

**Love that breaks me down  
So I can sit up straight and look ahead  
Hearts that kill my bones  
So I can be alive instead of dead  
I need that doesn't care  
If I get mad, or if I'm not always convenient  
I need blood more real than what's  
Running through my veins  
I need safe**

"Have you been with that Mont girl girl again, Meredith? Every time you get around her, you turn into a spoiled brat!" People wondered why she didn't call her daughter more often. It's because she's a brat!

"Addison, mom? My best friend since I could talk. Are you talking about her?" It always made Meredith's blood boil when her mother did that. How hard was it to remember her best friend's name? She has to memorize patient's names all the time, doesn't she? Maybe she didn't. Maybe that's what the files are for.

"Don't get prissy, Meredith. I don't have time for your nonsense! I have to scrub in on a very important surgery in ten minutes!"

"Of course! Aren't they all?" Meredith rolled her eyes at a young mother walking by with the child in her arms, who was giving her a strange look. Yeah I'm sure your life is just peachy! She growled slightly before returning her attention to the phone on her ear, that was still slightly disfigured from when she'd thrown it against the wall the first night there.

"Wouldn't you want a surgeon to think you were important if you were on the table?" Ellis snapped back quickly, already regretting the call. She told him it was a bad idea!

"Why did you call me?" Meredith asked, ignoring the last question, knowing that her mother only considered 'miracle' surgeries very important. Most likely something that a woman had never pulled off.

"I have some news. Apparently it's inappropriate to just spring something like this on you without warning. Although, I have to tell you, I don't see the horribleness of it." Ellis was ready to hang up the phone before she ever picked it up, and she'd never been so happy that she was about to scrub in on a fourteen hour surgery than she was right at that moment.

"Something? Like what?" Meredith's stomach quickly knotted, as if she was about to find out that her grandmother had died a horrible death, even though she'd never met the woman.

"Well, Meredith. You see.. The thing is.." Ellis tried her best to attempt to explain this as if she was explaining a complicated surgery to a patient, but unfortunately she'd never been interested in psych, and there was no surgical problem in her confession.

Meredith had never actually heard her mother stumble with her words, if anything, she'd always criticized Meredith for it. The fact that she was doing it now scared her even more. She didn't know what to expect, and her mother had always been predictable. Always. It was work, herself, and then if she had time it was Meredith. Those priorities never changed, and she was certain they never would. She knew her mom wouldn't call her to talk to her about a case. It would be unethical, if not flat out illegal. Meredith didn't know.

"Okay. I'm just going to say it. I have to go. I.. I'm seeing someone, Meredith, and he's coming with me next week because for some unknown reason, he wants to meet you. Goodbye Meredith. Stay out of trouble. I mean it. I will not bail you out of jail when he's with me. See you next week." Just like that, her mother was gone, once again leaving her Meredith to figure out the tremendous impact of those words on her life. Who was her mother to have that kind of impact on her. She didn't have that right. How much was her life going to change because of this? She wasn't sure, but she didn't particularly want to know either. Change. Meredith detested change. Like it hadn't changed enough in the last month. How could her mom do this to her- again?

**I guess I just got used to bending  
It's the greatest magic trick the world has ever seen  
Tell me how it is and I'll shift my shape  
I won't even remember it tomorrow**

_It'd been two months since Thatcher had walked out on her, and just as long since she'd heard his name uttered from her mother's lips, who only seemed to be upset about the fact that she was now in charge of making sure Meredith had a ride to and from school, and that she got food. Luckily, Teresa, Derek's mom, had been quick to offer her services, and Suzanne, Addi's mom, welcomed her into her their home anytime. Sometimes she wondered why everyone seemed to love her daughter more than she did. Sure when Meredith had been born, she was gaga eyed just like Thatcher, but she went back to work quickly, probably too soon, and she lost all of that motherly- instinct. Meredith was now five, and she barely knew her at all. It was hard to love someone she didn't know. Not that Ellis was gooing with love with anyone she knew either. Well, not that was in her life in a real way. Not that she took the time to get to know Meredith, she was just thankful that Meredith had someone to nurture her, she just didn't have it in her._

_It was midnight when Ellis found herself at her daughter's bedroom door. At first, she was just going to walk on by to her room, under the assumption that the young girl was fast asleep, but was stopped in her tracks by the soft sobs that escaped the crack at the bottom of the door, along with the night light that Meredith swore scared away the monsters in the closet, at least the pretend ones. Finally talking herself into entering the bright pink room that the next door neighbor had done for her, she turned the doorknob, causing to creak in a haunting tone. The sobs immediately dissolved into the thick summer air that was suffocating to anyone who didn't keep a fan in their face at all times. "Meredith? Did you have a nightmare scalpel head?" Just because she couldn't ever win the Mother of the Year award, didn't mean that she didn't care for Meredith. If she didn't care for her, she would have given her up the day Thatcher walked out on them, although sometimes she wonders if that would have been better for her. Meredith was a good child, she deserved the best life could offer. Sure she could support her financially, but she wasn't sure that was enough. She tried not to think about it because all she could see was her own mother's disapproving frown. The only look she ever received from her mother._

_Meredith peeked her head slowly from the comforter that'd swallowed her tiny body whole, along with the several pillows that made up the top of her bed, allowing a small nod to be seen before replacing the blanket over her head._

_Ellis frowned before making her way further into the room, making a small spot for herself on the bed before pulling the comforter back down to reveal her daughter's red puffy eyes, stuffy nose, and rosy cheeks. "What happened in this nightmare, scalpel?" Most would find it odd that she called her daughter a nickname that contained scalpel, but she thought it was completely relevant. Surgery was her life, and without a scalpel, Dr. Ellis Grey didn't exist. Scalpel head was about as sentimental as Ellis could get for the little girl._

**Nobody told me any better  
They just watched me turn into  
A little shook-up bottle of soda,  
I need…**

_"Daddy isn't coming back, is he mommy?" Meredith's voice cracked too many times for Ellis to count, making her strain to keep her emotions at bay._

_"I don't know, Meredith. I.. Maybe." She didn't know which answer would be best for her. It wasn't healthy for her to be holding onto the hope that he was coming back, but she didn't exactly want to be the messenger. Thatcher put himself in this situation, shouldn't he have to deal with the consequences?_

_"You're not lying, right mommy?" The question was interrupted twice by Meredith's sniffles, but she still understood the question. She frowned, tucking Meredith's small frame tighter into the comforter._

_"No Meri, I wouldn't lie to you about Thatch." She shook her head, indicating that she wouldn't, earning a small smile from the little girl._

_"I love you, mommy." Meredith scooted over in the bed before flipping the comforter over, allowing room for her mother to lay down, something Thatcher had done countless times when she'd had a bad dream. Something that Ellis didn't know._

_"I know, scalpel head. It's late. You should get some rest. You have to go to school tomorrow. Goodnight." Ellis returned the blanket to it's rightful spot before placing a tiny kiss on Mer's forehead. "Fight off the bedbugs." Ellis missed the frown that'd overtaken her child's face as she left the room, shutting the door behind her without throwing her another glance._

_"Love you too, daddy." Meredith whimpered into the empty room before snuggling herself into the dead center of the bed, that way she could tell herself there wasn't room her anyone to sleep with her. _

**So come up now, come from where you are  
All you people who've seen the sign  
Gather up, gather 'round me now  
If you're willing to clear up the lies**

Meredith was brought out of her thoughts gently by a pair of strong arms wrapping around her, and for the first time she felt the hot tears rolling down the face, and falling onto the bare legs that her short shorts did not cover. "Hey babe." Mark cooed softly into her ear, rubbing soft circles around her back, hoping to calm her down. Derek had tried to come out after her after she hadn't returned, but Mark sat him back down, and insisted that he was going after her. Derek wasn't too thrilled, but he let it go. When Mark was determined about something, there was no changing his mind.

"I HATE change, Mark. I really, really hate change." Meredith sighed, leaning her head onto his shoulder, inhaling his cologne's scent to calm her nerves. Mark was her protector, he'd protect her from the wind if he could. She loved him for that.

"I know, Mer. What did the witch do now?" Mark placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head, waiting patiently for her to tell him what was now going to be number one on the list of the reasons he wanted to kill Ellis Grey.

"She is bringing a guy home next week." Meredith could easily feel the muscles in Mark's body tighten, before loosening up, and a small chuckle escape his lips.

"Well I guess we better start looking for that couch, then!" Mark's laughter roared even louder once the sentence was completed, Meredith's hands immediately flying to her face, burying it to hide her reddened cheeks.

"Oh my god, Mark. I thought we swore never to ever bring that up again!" Meredith laughed, reluctantly letting her hands fall back onto her lap before looking in his direction. "YOU PROMISED!"

"Aw, come on, Mer. It was a year ago. Besides, it's one of my fonder memories of your mother!" Mark chuckled.

**You will hear a loud explosion  
Followed by bits and pieces of me  
Flying aimlessly**

_It was the second week of summer before senior year, and Meredith was mad at Josh- again. Derek was gone out of town with his parents, and Addison was apparently having "family time" with her mom. So, that left her with just Mark, two bottles of tequila, and the Notebook. Not that she wanted to watch it exactly, but apparently Mark needed an excuse to tell his mom, and it was the only movie that she had at the moment._

_Now there was only several sips of tequila left, and Noah was only just now building Ally's dream house, making Meredith laugh out loud. "HA! Like anyone would ever do that for someone who never wrote him back! My ass!" Meredith spat out, only to receive a heavy laugh from Mark._

_"Someone's pissed at Josh!" Mark loved to tease her, it was too easy to pass up._

_"At least I have a reason! What's yours?" Meredith grinned as she watched his face fall. "Yeah. That's what I thought. Shush it, Sloane." Meredith's eyes traveled slowly over his tensed muscles, suddenly realizing the impact the tequila was having on her thoughts.It was MARK, for goodness sake!_

_The truth was that Mark was sulking because Addi was pissed at him, even though she wouldn't admit it. He'd went on a date the night before, and apparently she had to hear all the details. She swears up and down that she isn't mad, but since when does Addi have family time with her mom? Mark was brought from his thoughts as he felt her eyes on him, causing him to laugh once again._

_"You so want me, Grey!" Mark chuckled as he downed the remainder of the bottle._

_"You wish." Meredith slurred the words slightly, but crossed her arms in defiance none the less. Just because her and Josh were in a fight did not mean she could fool around with anyone, ESPECIALLY MARK! He was MARK!_

_"Whatever you say, Grey." Mark shook his head, trying to fight the effects of the alcohol. He probably should have stopped a long time ago, but he couldn't let Meredith out drink him! She was a chick!_

_Silence overtook the room, with the exception of the movie, but neither could remember exactly what they were watching, nor did either of them care. Getting uncomfortable, Mark decided to lighten the mood by grabbing Meredith by the waist, tickling her into hysterical laughter._

_Meredith immediately fell onto her back, trying her best to remove his hands from her waist. She HATED being tickled. She was way too ticklish for her own good. " STOP.." Her voice faded away as she looked up into Mark's eyes, he was hovering closely over her, and the tequila was definitely in control of the situation. Meredith's hands immediately found their way to the back of his neck as she stretched out her legs allowing him to lower himself further down until her lips captured his._

_Meredith wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was certain her heart stopped at the yelling she heard coming into the room just as quickly as it left. "YOU BETTER BE PLANNING ON BUYING ME A NEW COUCH, MEREDITH GREY!" Another one of her mom's surprise visits. Perfect timing._

_Once they could no longer hear her mother moving around, Mark quickly rolled off of her, onto the floor, laughing hysterically at the events of the night. "I KNEW YOU WANTED ME!"_

_"SHUT UP, MARK! YOU BETTER NOT TELL ANYONE! I MEAN IT!" Meredith blushed as she pointed her finger at him in authority. How the hell did that happen? She looked up at the TV to find the two older people lying together in the small bed. THE END? What the hell?_

_"Fine. I won't tell anyone, but we both knew who made the first move here, Grey!" Mark chuckled, sitting himself up against a recliner._

_"Whatever you want to tell yourself!" Meredith covered her face in exasperation."You have to go! Now!"_

_"I can't drive, Mer!" Mark insisted, his voice actually reaching a serious tone._

_"Fine. You can sleep in the guest room. No sneaking though. I mean it!" Meredith glared momentarily at him before jumping off the couch, and running out of the room._

_Mark sat there, stunned, for a moment before he looked back up to find Ellis Grey standing in front of him, darting her eyes between him and the empty bottles. "At least you aren't a cheap date." Ellis laughed softly before shaking her head and walking once again out of the room. _

**And we'll put it back together  
The way it should have been  
The way it should have been  
The way it was at first  
The way it was at first  
The way I will be  
The way I am**

Mark never had the time to explain that it was just a mistake, that they weren't dating because Ellis was gone when he woke up the next morning. He hadn't seen her since.

"You're such an ass, Sloane!" Meredith laughed as she glanced towards the doorway when she heard faintly heavy footsteps coming their way, in the form of Derek.

"You better not be trying to steal her, Mark. There's going to be a fight." Derek laughed as he made his way to them, quickly taking notice of her tear stained, although now dried, cheeks. He leaned down in front of her, kissing her fingertips. "You okay sweetie?"

Mark grinned at the two of them before standing up. "Figures he couldn't stay away. Guess I'll go sit with Addi. Later." Mark couldn't wipe the grin off his face at the sight of the two of them. He was so happy for them. It was about damn time they got it right. With that, he walked into the restaurant, his smile broadening even more as he saw the redhead fumbling with her cellphone.

**Please Review!**

**Song is Safe by Bethany Joy Lenz. **

**Okay. I know some of you might possibly be freaking out. but I promise this isn't a mer/mark fic. That was purely for humor. No worries! **


	15. Coming Clean

**_Thanks for the reviews, guys! And once again, sorry for the delay. I'm still not completely happy with this chapter. It's not completely finished, so next chapter will be a continuance! So think of this as a part one. Enjoy! Song is Once In A Lifetime Love by Keith Urban. _**

**_I got your ring around my neck_**

It was now the group's last night in Florida. They had to leave by ten the next morning to make it to dinner at Derek's, Ms. T's insistence that they all go. The last week had been consumed with nothing but fun and laughter. They'd made a pact not to talk about anything that was waiting for them back home, and it'd worked pretty well so far. Mark and Addi had also made their own pact to tell Meredith and Derek at least something about their relationship, but as the clock continued to tick away, the chances were getting slimmer, and more unlikely.

They'd been settled comfortably on the beach, much like the first night pre-drama, for at least two hours. The two six packs of Smirnoff twisted that'd left a hint of Raspberry on their tongues were long gone, leaving them with nothing but each other and the waves to keep them entertained. The Sunday night dread-like feeling had already consumed them as they dreaded to return home.

It'd been a peaceful silence for a good fifteen minutes, and Addison was beginning to hate it. Silence made her think, and she didn't want to do that anymore. She'd been doing nothing but thinking since their first date, and she always talked herself out of taking things any further with Mark. She didn't want that to happen again. If she got hurt, she'd already decided it'd be worth it. Their relationship was great as it was, but then he was also allowed to date others, and she was not a fan of that- at all. She leaned back further into Mark's chest, smelling his cologne to remind herself that this is what she wanted, and nothing back home could change that. Nothing.

**I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it in your touch  
I know that you're scared but you've never been this loved  
It's a long shot baby I know it's true  
But if anyone can make it I'm betting on me and you  
Just keep on moving into me, I know you're gonna see  
The best is yet to come**

"Walk with me." She whispered softly into his ear, immediately receiving a nod in response. She was only wearing a pair of cheer leading shorts and a tank top, and in the time they'd been out there the wind had picked up quite a bit, so she couldn't help but coax herself into his open arms that were now wrapped firmly around her folded arms.

It only took several seconds for the pair to get out of eyesight due to the shadows of the overcasting hotel and the moonless night, and Mark took full advantage of it as he leaned close to her ear. "You are amazing, Addi." He grinned as he nuzzled his face into her neck, placing soft kisses in her most vulnerable places.

"Right back at ya, buddy." She giggled softly as she outstretched her neck, using all of her will power to continue walking instead of turning around and violating his lips with her own.

Mark turned his head slightly to find that they had turned a corner before he stopped Addi in her tracks, turning her body around to face him. "We have to tell them, Addi."

"I know." She nodded, a small smile on her face. "We will. tonight. I promise."

"Yeah?" His bright white teeth casted their shine her way before she pulled him into a kiss.

Several moments later she pulled away, although she kept her fingers lingering on his face. "I love you, Mark." She'd never said it before. Not in that way. She'd told him she loved him as a friend countless times, but this time it was different and they both knew it.

She quickly found herself flying in circles, being held tightly at her waist by Mark, before crashing down on his lips once again. "I love you too, Addi." Mark mumbled between kisses, his smile never leaving his face.

**Don't fear it now, we're going all the way  
That sun is shining on a brand new day  
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith  
But I'm never giving up  
Cuz I know we've got a once in a lifetime love**

Meredith and Derek barely even noticed when the other pair left. In fact, if it wasn't for the swishing of the sand from the effect of their swift feet, they probably wouldn't have even noticed at all.

"I must be dreaming." Derek finally broke the silence a good fifteen minutes later, as he placed a small kiss on the top of her head, tightening his grasp around her waist to prove to himself that it was real.

"Why?" Meredith giggled softly, shifting her weight slightly so she could see him as she peered upwards. She'd been so caught up in the thought's of her mom's visits that she'd completely forgotten that she wasn't alone. He was just so comforting.

"Because this doesn't happen.Boy doesn't ever really get the girl." He grinned as he lowered his lips to her forehead.

"Boy gets girl? Derek? How many chick flicks have you been watching lately? Whatever it is, you are now only allowed to see half that many." She smirked, secretly reeling in the fact that it really wasn't just a dream. Mostly because no dream could ever do this feeling justice- ever.

"Hey!" he pouted. "That's not nice!" Truthfully Michaela had dragged him to more than his willing share of chick flicks, but Meredith didn't need to hear about that. That was in the past. They were starting over- together. The past didn't count.

"Oh shut up." She laughed, rolling her eyes at him."You know I love you, and all your chicky nonsense." She grinned as she pecked his lips quickly.

"I'll have you know that I am very non-chickish! In fact, I would go as far as to say, I'm very dudeish!" His lower lip was puckered out in mock hurt.

"Dudeish? Babe, the fact that you say dudeish concerns me more than the number of chick flicks you've seen." She pressed her lips together in her best attempt not to laugh at him. But it was proving to be very difficult. Especially when he seemed so intent on the word. Most guys would have said manly, but not Derek. He said dudeish! Seriously!

**Everybody's looking for what we've found  
Some wait their whole life and it never comes around  
So don't hold back now just let go  
Of all you've ever known  
You can put your hand in mine**

"What?" Derek chuckled. "You don't love me anymore because I said dudeish?"

She knew he was kidding, but she still could see the faint signs of uncertainty etched into his features. She grinned as she shook her head. "Actually, I must be losing my mind because I might possibly love you even more. Who knew that was possible?"

His eyes sparkled in joy as she ran her hands gently through his hair. "You better."

"What? You were gonna punish me?" Meredith finally turned over so that she completely facing him, gently pushing him back onto the blanket, propping herself up dangerously come to him.

"Well.. that would have definitely been an option." He grinned, placing his hands firmly on her hips to pull her down.

"Yeah? What if I change my answer?" she whispered into his ear before softly nibbling on his earlobe.

He groaned slightly as she moved from his ear to his neck, offering soft kisses along the way. "You're evil, Meredith."

She placed a final kiss on his neck before pulling herself back up over him, an innocent smile on her face. "Why would you say that?"

"Because we're outside on a public beach!" He pouted, locking his hands together behind her back to ensure that she wasn't going anywhere.

"What's your point?" She reached behind her back to remove his hands from their grasp so that she could lay down beside him, but failing.

"Nu uh." He chuckled at her pouting face before rolling over to hover over her, only unlocking his hands to replace them on her hips.

"I win." She insisted as she brought her hands to his shoulders to support him.

"See. There, I have to disagree." He shook his head before leaning in to kiss her lips. But was interrupted by a faint squeal in the distance that sounded eerily similar to Addison. He reluctantly turned his head to find his two best friends falling over in hysterical laughter. He turned back to Meredith, and buried his face into her neck. "I swear they time these things!" He pouted before rolling onto the other side of her.

"Aw. Poor baby." Meredith chuckled before scooting herself into a sitting position to make room for the two approaching people who seemed delightfully happy considering they'd just ruined her ecstatic happiness.

**Don't fear it now, we're going all the way  
That sun is shining on a brand new day  
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith  
But I'm never giving up  
Cuz I know we've got a once in a lifetime love**

"You guys do realize this is a public beach, right?" Mark grinned as he made his way, hand in hand with Adddison, up to the couple.

"Well the hotel room isn't, and we still get walked in on. So ya know!" Derek sent Mark a death glare before cracking a small smile at the intertwined hands. "That was a short walk."

"We like to ruin all of your moments." Addison laughed as she plopped down onto Mark's lap happily. Giving him a short glance for assurance, she turned towards the other two. "So, we have news."

"We're listening." Meredith grinned, hoping that her suspicions was right.

"Well, more like a confession, really." Mark added, realizing that they hadn't even talked about what they were going to tell them, or how much.

"A confession?" Derek retorted, looking between the two for some sort of clue as to what was going on.

"Yeah. We.. uh. well. we've sort of, kind of, in a way, beendatingsincefreshmanyear." Addison mumbled the last part as quickly as possible.

"Non-exclusively, of course." Mark added, knowing that Derek might possibly be planning on killing him in his sleep.

"Yeah. But we've decided to be exclusive." Addi nodded, grabbing onto Mark's hands tightly for support, or protection from the wrath that was sure to occur.

"FRESHMAN YEAR?! FOUR YEARS, ADDISON? REALLY?" Meredith yelled, quickly standing up. "I thought we were best friends! AND YOU!" She pointed her index finger at Mark. "SAME GOES FOR YOU, TOO!"

All eyes fell on the one person, who'd yet to say anything since the confession. In fact, he didn't even look like he was paying attention to the conversation. "Earth to Derek!" Meredith snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention.

"Sorry." Derek shook his head. He'd been thinking about his and Mark's car ride there. Mark had tried to tell him, but then changed his mind. He locked his eyes on Mark, cocking his head to the side slightly, trying to read Mark's expression. Guilt, maybe? Uncertainty definitely.

Just as quickly as his inquisitive look appeared, it was gone, replaced with a scowl as his eyes narrowed on Mark's sorrowful gaze. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIED TO ME! I ASKED YOU POINT BLANK AND YOU LIED TO ME!" With a huff of annoyance mixed with anger, Derek stood up and walked off, headed for the pier, which was the opposite way from their hotel.

"Derek! Wait!" Mark's eyes bulged as he darted his eyes between Meredith and Addison, both of which just shrugged uncertain what he should do. After a split moment, Mark made his way after Derek, sputtering his feet through the heavy sand in an effort to cut the distance between him and his retreating friend. "Just stop for a second, will ya?"

**Don't fear it now, we're going all the way  
That sun is shining on a brand new day  
It's a long way down and it's a leap of faith  
But I'm never giving up  
Cuz I know we've got a once in a lifetime love**


	16. Glad

**_And a couple of nights I don't regret  
You got a dream of a degree  
And a shirt that smells like me_**

Once Derek had gotten far enough to make a turn out of eyesight, he stopped, all of the anger that he'd worked so hard to display vanished, and was replaced with a proud grin.

Before he could truly relish in his achievement, Mark had found him, a very confused scowl on his face. "Why are you laughing? I just ran faster than I've ever ran in my life, that is including when Heather Johnson's dad ran me out of her bedroom at two AM with a gun, and this was through sand Derek! I thought you were upset! Why are you laughing?"

"Hey, you lied to me for how many years? Even when I talked to you about Meredith? I can laugh or scream or kick your ass—whatever I feel like doing. You owe me."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Mark said sadly even though he couldn't quite hide the proud smirk that informed Derek that he was proud of himself for keeping it a secret as long as he did. Obviously it was hard, "Sorry, man."

Derek burst out laughing again. Mark squinted his eyes, glaring at him, obviously frustrated, but feeling as if he couldn't or shouldn't say anything.

Derek doubled over he was laughing so hard. He'd never been able to make Mark really feel bad about anything. He'd always been the one with the regrets and afterthoughts. Mark had always been a carpe diem kinda guy.

"What the hell is so funny?" Mark scowled. Quite frankly, he didn't think him finally being honest about his relationship with Addison was something to laugh about!

"You're whipped. The infamous playboy has been landed—hook, line, and sinker. You're done." Derek continued to laugh, holding his stomach in an attempt to keep it it from bursting. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard. Thankful that it was at Mark's expense, and not his own.

"Shut up." Mark's scowl softened only a tiny bit as he watched his friend's light up. As long as he didn't make the jokes around Addison, he could deal with it.

"Can't….too…funny."

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Mark began to pout, uncertainty of what he'd gotten himself into already creeping in.

"You……..Marcus Sloan- you've gone soft. You don't know how to be a one-woman man. You're scared. You were scared to tell us. I bet it was Addison who dove in first, agreed to spill the beans."

"No! It was my idea! I wanted this, Derek. As my best friend, I thought you would understand that!" A small trace of sadness could be heard in Mark's voice, making Derek's laughter die down. He could see the girls approaching in the distance, so he decided to lighten the mood.

"No one can tie me down. You said that--on the drive down. Famous last words, I guess." Derek grinned as he watched a content smile play on his best friend's face.

"What can I say? She's a miracle worker." Mark grinned before tackling Derek into the sand. It was that, or give him a hug, and that just wasn't an option.

By the time the girls caught up with them, they'd both fumbled back onto their feet, but unfortunately the girls had seen all of it, and were still laughing when they came to a stop, their arms interlinked to keep their balance.

"That was first class entertainment, you two!" Meredith grinned as she moved closer to help pick stuff up that'd fallen out of the boys pockets.

"Mer's right. You should do that more often. We wouldn't ever even have to go out." Addi chimed in as she sat down, digging her feet into the sand.

"Funny." Mark grinned as he collapsed onto the sand behind Addi, pulling her closer to him.

"Aw! Look Derek! They are so cute!" Meredith giggled as she watched Addison's cheeks flush and Mark hide his face as best he could into her neck.

"Too bad we don't have a camera!" He laughed, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.

"It's a shame." Meredith grinned as she dug her hands into one of his pockets. "Good thing phones have cameras these days." She added as she took a picture of the two nestled closer together before outstretching her arms and taking a picture of her and Derek. "P.S Derek, this is your new background picture."

Derek smiled as he looked over her shoulder at the picture. "Sounds good to me, Mer." He whispered softly into her ear, placing a gentle kiss on her temple.

Once the other two had sat down, Addison turned towards Meredith, outstretching her hand, which Meredith quickly accepted. Mouthing 'I'm sorry', a small tear fell down Addi's cheek.

"Aw! It's okay, really. It's good. Im happy.. for both of you." Mer squeezed her hand in assurance before removing it to poke Mark's side. "And you better be good to her or you will get my wrath!" She laughed.

"MINE TOO!" Addi chimed in, leaning even further into Mark's embrace.

"I know, baby."

"See! He says it!" Derek pouted into Meredith's ear.

"But it's so cute when he says it!" Mer giggled at him, kissing his cheek.

"Ha! Your girlfriend thinks I'm cuter than you! Sucks for you!" Mark laughed at Derek before turning his attention to Meredith. "You know there's enough Mark love to go around!" He added with a wink, before instantly recieving a pop to the back of his head, to his arm, and to his hand that around Addi's waist.

"OW GUYS! I WAS JUST KIDDING!" Mark pouted as he removed his impacted arm to massage his head that was hit the hardest.

"Not laughing, Sloane!" Derek glared for a moment before chuckling at him.

**Everywhere you go, perfection  
Follows you the wrong direction  
And you will never see if for  
You get all that you need and more  
You see it, you want it  
You find it, it's yours**

**But you can't say what you want or  
Take what you want or  
Choose the moods that you fake when you want  
You said your life couldn't get much better  
Then where it's at  
And aren't you glad**

**The only one of 5; exception  
The child of your pride, deception  
And on your list of things to do  
Is make me fall in love with you  
You find one, you want one  
Cause I'm one, who plays**

**You can't say what you want or  
Take what you want or  
Choose the moods that you fake when you want  
You said your life needed something special  
Which you don't have**

**You can't say what you want or  
Take what you want or  
Rest and wake anyway that you want  
You said your life couldn't get much better  
Well, here I am, and aren't you glad.**

**Now you got it bad  
I know you do  
You can't say what you want or  
Take what you want or  
Choose the moods that you fake when you want**

**You said your life couldn't get much better  
Then where you're at  
And you can't say what you want or  
Take what you want or  
Rest and wake anyway that you want  
You said your life needed something special  
Which you don't have  
Well, aren't you glad  
Well, aren't you glad  
Well, aren't you glad**

**- Glad, Tyler Hilton **

**I know this was short, but it was just a continuance of the last scene. So Yeah. I hope you guys liked it! Let me know!!  
**


	17. Another Travelin' Song

**_Yeah, we both got dreams  
We could chase alone  
Or we could make our own_**

By 10:30 the next morning, only a half an hour past their goal, an half hour before check out, the two couples settled in to the cars. Meredith had reluctantly handed over her keys to Addison after much coaxing from Derek.

"You won't regret it." He grinned, as he opened up the passenger side door for her.

"Mark is not to drive my car, Addi! I mean it!" Meredith yelled at Addison as she ducked into the drivers seat of Meredith's car.

"I know Mer! We went over this last night!" She nodded as she casted a pity smile towards Mark, mouthing 'sorry'.

"Be careful!" Meredith continued to rant untill Derek shut the door on her. "Hey!" she glared at him as he made his way to the other side of the car. "You're going to pay for that, mister!"

"Addi isn't going to let Mark drive." Derek grinned as he turned the key in the ignition before grabbing her hand.

"Someone sounds mighty confident. Sure your riding with the right girl?"

**Well I'm changing all my strings  
I'm gonna write another travelin' song  
About all the billion highways  
And the cities at the break of dawn**

"Positive." He squeezed her hand in confirmation before bringing it to his lips to kiss.

"Aw. How cute!" She giggled, trying to draw attention away from the goosebumps she got on her arms from the feel of his lips.

"I'm just good with the ladies." He offered her his dreamiest smile, accompanied with a wink as he shifted into reverse.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, babe." She picked up his CD case with her free hand from the floor board

"Hey! I happen to be very charming." He pouted, trying not to laugh.

"Of course you are." She mused, her mind already drifting to what she was going to face at home.

"I got you, didn't I?"

"I don't count, sweetie. I knew you way before you knew what charming was."

"Mer.." It was now or never. He had to tell her about Michaela. They were going home now, it would bite him in the ass if he didn't. He knew it. He couldn't tell her about Josh, but he could tell her about Michaela. Couldn't he?

"Hmm?"

"I think there's something I need to tell you."

**Well, I guess the best that I can do now  
Is pretend that I done nothing wrong  
And a dream about a train that's gonna  
Take me back where I belong**

His sudden tensed muscles caught Meredith's attention, causing the smile that'd been gracing her features to disappear as she turned towards him, swallowing the large lump that'd formed harshly in her throat.

"Oh?" Her voice cracked as she looked his way, her mind running rampid with ideas of what he had to tell her until she remembered the phone call from the night before while he was in the shower.

"Yeah." He sighed, trying to figure out the best way to word it.

"This isn't about Michaela is it?"

**Well, now the ocean speaks and spits  
And I can hear it from the interstate  
And I'm screaming at my brother on a cell phone  
He is far away**

_Meredith and Derek came back to the room to give the newly established couple some alone time. Derek informed her as they walked in that he was going to take a shower, so Meredith plummeted down on the bed, and watched happily his reflection in the mirror as he shed his clothes down to his boxers, emptying his pockets on the prep table before closing the bathroom door, offering her a wink._

_After shaking thoughts off of joining him in the shower, deciding that it was probably a little soon for that, Meredith grabbed the remote from the bedside table and flipped through the channels, finally just ending it on the CMT station where Top 20 countdown was playing. _

_She'd just gotten to hear number two when she heard Derek's phone start ringing. Giggling softly at the song chosen for the caller, she stood from the bed, and walked over to the dressing area. _

_Michaela._

_"Hello?" She answered, slightly surprised that Michaela was calling him. She didn't know he'd even talked to her since graduation._

_"Meredith?" She could tell she was surprised that she answered, but shook it off. "Did I call you on accident?"_

_Meredith couldn't help but laugh. "Nope. Sorry Michaela. Derek is in the shower." She held the phone out slightly so that she could hear the water running._

_"Oh. Alright. Sorry to bother ya. Bye!" Before Meredith could respond, she'd hung up. Looking at the phone a moment , she shook her head, and made a note to tell Derek she called before setting it down on the counter and making her way back to the bed._

_By the time the number one song was over, Meredith had fallen asleep on the bed, completely forgetting the call._

**I'm saying nothing in the past or future  
Ever will feel like today  
Until we're parking in an alley  
Just hoping that our shit is safe**

To say that the question surprised him would be an understatement. It took every ounce of self control he had in order not to swerve into another car at that moment. "Wh.. Why would you ask that?"

"She called you last night when you were in the shower. But I forgot because I fell asleep." She whimpered slightly, afraid of what he was going to tell her.

"Oh. Well you know how I took her to prom?"

Meredith simply nodded, because she couldn't bring herself to speak. She was trying not to jump to conclusions, but it was hard.

"I was kinda seeing her before that.." He gulped slightly as he came to stop at a red light. He tried not to look at her reaction, for fear of seeing complete and utter disappointment. "... and afterwards."

He could hear her gulp, and by the time he got the courage to look her in the eye, she had tears rolling down her cheeks. "You're with Michaela?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she might as well have been screaming.

He quickly shook his head, no. "Not exclusively."

"Oh! Is that what this is? Not exclusive? Just someone to spend your time with until you get back to 'Mika'!?"

"YOU KNOW IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Then what's it like, exactly Derek?"

"She knew I loved you! It's over between me and her!"

"Does she know that?"

"Well.. no.. but I haven't talked to her!"

**So I go back and forth forever  
All my thoughts they come in pairs  
Oh, I will, I won't, I do, I don't  
I'm not surprised  
But I never feel quite prepared**

"When's the last time you talked to her?" Meredith asked hesitantly, glancing down at his phone, fighting the urge to look without giving him a chance to be honest with her.

"The first night here." He gulped, deciding that honesty might hurt now, but would be better down the road. "After you ran out on me."

"Oh. So you called her to boost your ego?" She glared at him.

"No! She called me because she'd heard that you and Josh had broken up, and she asked me if I was going to take my chance!"

"She knows you pretty well, huh?" She sighed, not knowing what to think anymore.

"I guess. But I'm pretty sure everyone knows how I feel about you, baby." He grinned, sensing that he'd waded back out of the deep end.

"You think you're so charming." She grinned, not being able to stop herself.

"I just love you."

"You know, you can't say that every time I get mad at you, and expect it to be all better."

"I know. But I can try can't I?"

**Now I'm hunched over a typewriter  
I guess you'd call that painting in a cave  
And there's a word I can't remember  
And a feeling I cannot escape**

Once Derek shut Meredith's door, Addison rolled up her window, realizing that she'd completely run out of time to confess. Well besides this drive. Even though she was probably going to be with Mark the entire ride, it still didn't seem like enough time to tell him what she needed to say. What she'd been trying to get the courage to tell him since the first night. So many good things happened, she never wanted to ruin that feeling of a Friday night.

"Babe?" Mark grabbed onto her hand after a minute to get her attention. Derek and Meredith had pulled out at least three minutes ago, and she'd yet to put the keys in the ignition. "You okay?" He was starting to get worried about her. She'd been acting weird all morning. Silent, contemplative. He was sort of worried that she'd changed her mind about them, and he wasn't sure he could handle that. He'd finally gotten something he didn't think he could ever achieve, and it would be unbelievably cruel to take that away from him after only one night. It hadn't even been a whole day yet!

The squeeze of his hand brought her out of her thoughts, a reassuring smile instantly cascading the worry in her eyes. "I'm good." She nodded her head, relishing in the warmth of his hand before removing it to crank up the car.

"Yeah?" He asked, not quite sure whether or not to believe her. He wanted to so badly, but something was wrong. He could feel it.

**And now my ashtray's overflowing  
I'm still staring at a clean white page  
Oh, and morning's at my window  
And she is sending me to bed again**

Finally, Addison turned to him, slightly relieved that he didn't believe her fake smile. She just didn't want to tell him now. She didn't want to ruin what seemed like the perfect trip. Perfection was so rare. But what she had to tell him really couldn't wait untill they got home. Simply because she no longer had a home to go to.

"Mark, I.." She sighed not quite being able to comprehend what she was about to say. It seemed so unreal. So impossible. How could this have happened when she was living a fairytale on a white sandy beach with the three most amazing people she knew.

"What is it Addi?" Mark grabbed her hand, fully intent on staying right there in that parking space untill she got out whatever was on her mind.

**Well, I dreamed a dark on the horizon  
I dreamed a desert where the dead lay down  
I dreamed a prostituted child  
Touching an old man in a fast food crowd**

_It was the first night in Florida, and everyone else was inside the room, leaving her sitting in on the concrete pavement outside the room alone with her thoughts. Her mother's rants easily consumed her mind before her phone went off, informing her that her mother was calling._

_"Hey mommy." Addi whispered, holding her breath, hoping for good news, but preparing for the worst. _

_"Hi sweetheart." Her mother's sniffles did not go unnoticed by Addison, she was just optimistic that they were tears of joy. Too bad optimism got her nowhere. "I have some bad news." _

_"No.." Addi shook her head. "Please say no, mommy." _

_"I'm sorry sweetie. We have till the end of the month to be out." A loud sob echoed off the phone as Addison calculated dates._

_"They won't be back before then. I'll fly home. I'll come help you." Tears sprinkled her eyes, trying her best to keep some part of herself composed._

_"No, you have fun sweetie. I'll get it done. Do you think you could stay at Ms. Mandys for a little while till I set up a new place?"_

_"I.. I'll figure something out, mommy. Love you." With that Addison dropped her phone on the booth, instantly wiping her eyes._

**I dreamed a ship was sinking  
There was people screaming all around  
And I awoke to my alarm clock  
It was a pop song, it was playing loud**

_It couldn't have been longer than a minute later when Addison felt a pair of arms wrap around her, ones she instantly knew were Mark's. She hadn't even heard the door open. "Hey you." She cooed, nuzzling her face into his neck to hide any hints of sadness on her face. She wasn't ready to tell him yet. She couldn't._

_"Miss me?" He grinned, placing a light kiss on her forehead._

_"Of course!" she grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull her closer. _

_"So that was interesting, huh. Did you see their faces when we walked in. That was pretty much amazing." Mark laughed, recalling walking in on Meredith and Derek's heated encounter._

_"I would have died." Addison laughed, burying her face into his neck. Earlier she'd just wanted to tell him bout the possibility, but now that it was final, she suddenly didn't want to face it. He couldn't tell her everything was going to work out, because it wasn't._

**So I will find my fears and face them  
I will cower like a dog  
I will kick and scream  
I will kneel and plead  
I'll fight like hell, to hide that I'm giving up**

"Addi! Why the hell didn't you tell me before now? Of course you can stay with me!" Mark frowned, cupping her face in his hands. "You knew that, right baby?"

She simply nodded. She knew he would say that. "You won't get tired of me?" She grinned, leaning into him for a kiss, mostly for comfort.

"Never stopped you before!" He chuckled, shaking his head slightly, a big smile on his face.

"Hey now!" She laughed. "That's not nice!"

"I love you, Addi." He whispered, kissing her again.

"I'm so glad I have you, Mark." She grinned before pulling away. "We better get going before they call search and rescue."

"Eh. Let them have their fun." Mark smirked, pulling her in again for another kiss.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay guys! I've been kinda stuck with this story! But the song was Another Travelin' Song by Bright Eyes. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't started the next chapter yet, but I know that it is going to be back in Saratoga. Once again, sorry for the delay! **


	18. Feel the Silence part 1!

**Hey guys! I know that this story seems like it's been abandoned a lot lately! It hasn't! I've just had a lot of trouble getting it written. So this is only part one. And I'm leaving next weekend for a week. So it'll probably be a few weeks before I get the second part out. And I'm so sorry. Maybe I'll get some inspiration in the next week and get it out before I leave! Once again I'm soo sorry, and I hope ya'll haven't given up on me- or this story! I promise I'm not abandoning it! Please let me know what ya'll thought. P.S thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter:)  
**

** P.S - the song is Feel The Silence by GooGoo Dolls!  
**

**_Whole world could change in a minute  
Just one kiss could stop it's spinning  
We could think it through  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to_**

Meredith had been dreading this day since her mom told her about it. Her mom was coming home- announced, and with a man. A boyfriend. A boyfriend thats name was not Thatcher Grey. Where the hell were her friends? They should have been there by now, at least she thought so as she looked down at her cellphone for the thousandth time since they'd told her they were on their way. They'd been helping Addison get some boxes out of storage to move into Mark's house.

Mandy had set up her own little room. Not that she was naive enough to believe Addi would sleep in there, but at least she would have a place to change, or if they had an argument or something. It wasn't much, but with the limited notice, an hour at most, she did what she could. Mark had, conveniently forgotten to mention that Addison was now his girlfriend, officially. That would have made her slightly uncomfortable, and so he thought it was better left unsaid. Plus Addison wasn't ready to tell her yet.

Meredith had stayed at her house, attempting to clean, not at all one of her specialties. Her mother hadn't given her a time frame to expect her except that it would be after lunch time. It was now 12:15, and she was still alone. She looked down once again to check for missed calls, even though she already knew she had none.

**You lie awake at night  
With blue eyes that never cry  
All you remember now  
Is what you feel**

_"Derek.." Meredith whispered into the heat-filled air of her bedroom as she turned on her left side to face Derek. _

_"Hmm?" Derek mumbled,trying his best not to get out of his sleepy haze._

_"I can't sleep." She sighed rolling on top of him, placing small kisses along his jawline._

_"It's 3 AM, baby." Derek wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes forcefully to not wake up from the extra attention his skin was receiving at the moment._

_"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm nervous. Usually I would run to your house on nights like this, but your here." She grinned, once again relishing the other side of his neck with butterfly kisses._

_"Yes baby, I'm here. So let's just go to sleep." He open his eyes, reluctantly, to smile at her, pulling her to him to kiss her lips. "You have nothing to worry about Mer, I'm going to be here every second. You won't be alone. Plus Addison and Mark.. if they aren't... busy."_

_Her mother's previous visit flashed through Meredith's mind for just a moment, causing her cheeks to blush, before she shook it off. "You know.. we could be busy." She giggled, leaning in to nibble on his lower lip playfully._

**The truth remains  
In midnight conversations  
I asked for this moment  
But you turned away**

_He groaned slightly, realizing that his urge to sleep was all but gone as her hair fell from her's ears hold, and fell on both sides of his face, meshing with his own. "Didn't anyone teach you not to start what you can't finish, Meri?" _

_She giggled as she leaned into his ear. "Who said anything about not finishing?" _

_His eyes bulged as they met hers. "Meredith.." He tried to read her features, but found no signs of joking. _

_"I love you, Derek." She smiled softly at him, lightly dragging her fingers along his face before pulling him up for a kiss. "I love you so much." She mumbled against his lips._

_"I love you too, Mer. But.. I can't sleep with you just because your nervous about your mom. I.. I just can't. I'm sorry." He sighed, kissing her lips one more time before resting his head back onto his pillow._

_"Yo.. You don't want me?" She whimpered, her eyes brimming with tears. She'd never been rejected- ever. _

_"Mer.." He shook his head. "Of course I want you. You're my everything. I just.. It'd be wrong. Ya know?" _

_She shook her head in disagreement. "But I want to, Derek. It's not like you are being selfish, or something." Tears were now rolling down her cheeks as she buried her face into his chest, no longer looking at him. _

_"But I would be, baby. Come on, Mer. Let's just go to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow." Derek sighed, rolling onto his side just enough for her to land softly on the bed before wrapping his arm around her waist, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, Mer."_

_He was only greeted with silence, and the occasional whimper that she couldn't hold in. _

**Sad like a lonely child  
Broken the day you're born  
I held the light to you  
But I was so vain**

"I did the right thing, right guys? I mean, what was I suppose to do?" Derek sighed after recalling the last night's events to his two best friends.

"You could have slept with her." Mark grinned, even after Addison slapped his arm from the backseat.

"Mark is an idiot, Derek. You did the right thing. Pity sex is never memorable." She glared at Mark, wondering how he could seem so perfect one moment, and completely clueless the next.

"Never?" Mark raised an eyebrow, quick to argue otherwise. He could remember several occasions in which pity was the case.

"Shut up, Mark." Addison rolled her eyes at him before turning her attention to Derek. "Listen Derek, Meredith didn't want sex. She just wanted to feel better. You did the right thing. Don't worry."

Derek finally smiled at the redhead, letting out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Addi."

"What is this? A chick-flick? There will be no crying in my dad's new truck. Alright you two?" Mark smirked, petting the steering wheel softly with his left hand. "Ain't that right, baby?" He nodded his head as he whispered the words, causing Derek and Addison to glance at each other.

"I suddenly don't feel so socially challenged. Thanks buddy." Derek grinned, patting Mark on the shoulder untill his phone started vibrating in his pocket, a standard ring tone filling the air. Quickly hitting the reject button, he returned his attention to his friends to find that both of their eyes were on him.

"You've been rejecting a lot of calls today, man. What's up?" Mark couldn't help but ask. It was the third call Derek had rejected that day, and that was only the ones that he'd seen.

"Oh. It's nothing." Derek gave his best smile before turning his attention to the view from his window.

Addison looked towards Mark, who just shrugged, turning up the radio to drown out his thoughts, as well as everyone elses.

**And you remain  
A promise unfulfilled  
I ask you for more  
But you push me away  
And if we feel the silence  
Holding this all inside  
Everything means more now than  
Words could explain**

_"This better be pretty damn important." Derek hissed as soon as Michaela answered the door at seven thirty that morning. His face softened slightly as he saw the redness engraved in her eyes as well as her cheeks._

_Her face had hardened since the last time he'd seen her, before the trip, and it didn't seem to be from sadness. She looked angry- furious even. And obviously it was at him. "Sorry to inconvenience you, asshole." She hissed back with just as much, if not more annoyance at his presence at her house._

_"Why did you call me at seven in the morning?" He responded in a low voice, slightly afraid to anger her even more. He attempted to step forward into the house in case she was going to yell at him, but she stepped in front of him, sending him a glare that plainly stated he wasn't stepping inside her house ever again._

_"I've been calling you for a week, this morning was the first time you answered!" She replied, shutting the door behind her before tightening her grasp around her body. It wasn't the least bit cold, but standing outside in a cami tank top and pajama shorts wasn't exactly her picture perfect setting for this conversation._

_"I've been busy." He sighed, realizing that she probably already knew about Meredith. He'd meant to tell her himself, it just never seemed like a good time. "I'm sorry. I'm here now."_

_"A little late." She quipped back quickly, but sighed in frustration as she walked towards her porch swing, taking a seat in the middle indicating that he was not welcome to join her._

_"Why am I here, Mika?" He watched as she winced at the nickname, making him feel guilty about everything for the first time._

_"Don't call me that." She spoke through gritted teeth, not even bothering to look at him anymore. "I.. I was late." She spoke and the anger quickly transpired to sadness as she looked down at the cement flooring of the porch._

_"For what?" He asked, not catching onto the hint at all._

_Her eyes shot up at him, burning holes into his skin, causing him to take a step back as the realization hit him. "Oh my god." He quickly made his way to the side of the porch to lean against the post. "Oh my god." He didn't say anything else because he had a feeling that wasn't all of it._

_"I tried calling you over and over. I didn't want to tell my parents. I mean, we weren't even together! We were just having fun! How was I suppose to explain that to my parents?" Her lower lip began to tremble along with the rest of her body as she brought her knees to her chest , wrapping her arms tightly around them._

_Any other time, Derek would have simply hugged her untill she stopped crying, but he didn't really think that was the best option in this case. She probably didn't want to be touched by him at all, and he didn't really blame her. He slowly sunk down to the ground, imitating her movements until his chin was nestled into his knees. "Mik.. Michaela.. I'm so sorry."_

_"STOP SAYING THAT!" She yelled, causing an eerie silence to fall over them until she could speak again. "I waited three days. I stayed out of the house. Anything to avoid their gazes. I love my parents, I do, but I didn't want them to know about that. I didn't want to see their disapproving gazes. They were high school sweethearts. They didn't even have sex until they got married. Can you imagine what they'd say about YOU!" A loud sob escaped her lips, but was quickly buried by her knees._

_"So. what happened?" He spoke softly, trying to soothe her with words, if that was at all possible._

_"I went to the doctor.. Maggie took me. Oh my god, Derek. I was so nervous, I'd never been so scared to pee in my entire life. I mean it didn't seem right that a little cup was going to decide the rest of my life for me." She was rambling, and she knew it. But she didn't care, she waited for him, and now he could wait for her. He deserved it. "Have you ever looked around those rooms, Derek? They are absolutely nauseating. There's all these posters about how important protection is, or different STD's. I mean who wants to read that? I'm on birth control! I'm not a moron!" She lifted her head just enough to show her lower lip quiver._

_He fought the urge to apologize once again by biting down on his lower lip, reminding himself over and over again that they'd been careful. Not that he was going to ask if it could be someone else's, but the thought definitely crossed his mind._

_Once she was satisfied with his unbreakable silence, Michaela spoke again, this time much softer, and less hateful. "Most people leave the clinic, and they call you when they get the results. But I just.. I couldn't leave. Even when Maggie's mom called and told her she needed to go home for something or another. I just couldn't leave. It was six o'clock- eight hours later- before they came and got me. They closed down at six-thirty." Finally, she moved over to one side of the swing, silently allowing him to sit down beside her if he chose._

_He quickly stood up and made his way over there. Not even sure why except for the fact that if he was right, both of their lives were fixing to all but end, the least he could do was be nice about it. Even after he sat down, he couldn't bring himself to physically touch her. He knew it was probably hard for her to do this, and he was determined to give her all the space she needed._

_"They frowned at me like I was a little rich kid in a jewelry store unattended. Like I had no business being there, but they were forced to deal with me anyway. By the time I reached an exam room, I'd already broken out in hysterical tears. It was ten minutes before they even tried to calm me down, and they did that by asking my parents number to come pick me up. Ya know, because that's exactly who I wanted to call right then. Finally once one of the assistants left the room to call my mom, the doctor OPENED the folder! She hadn't even seen the results yet!" By then, her voice was nothing but a screeching whisper, her voice all but disappeared._

_"Turns out.. it was negative." She smiled sadly, and he couldn't help but hold his tongue, because it couldn't be that simple. Because she wouldn't be angry about a negative test. She wasn't someone that got upset easily._

_"But by the time I'd recovered, my parents had burst into the room, demanding that the doctors tell them why I was there. It was that or I was kicked out- effective immediately."_

_"I don't get why you're so upset if it was negative." He finally spoke, not able to contain his silence anymore. He didn't have much time before Mark was going to grill him with question about why he was late._

_"Because they kicked me out anyway. I'm leaving to Arizona tonight. Apparently my mom has a sister out there that will take me in until I start school in the fall." Once again, her legs were securely wrapped together by the tightened grasp of her arms. "I called to say goodbye." She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze._

_"Wh.. What time is your flight?" he asked, his mind rushing with all the things he had to do that day. It had to be the worst timing ever. It was completely his fault though, he'd been ignoring her calls for at least a week._

_"I'm leaving here at five. Maggie is driving me. My parents are gone to New York for the weekend." Her eyes fell back down to her hand that was bare except for a bracelet that her dad had given her last Christmas._

_"I would offer.. insist.. that I take you.. but I can't today, Mika. I'm so sorry this happened to you. And I know you don't want to hear my apologies, because they aren't going to make any of this better. But I am. I know we weren't together or anything, but I did care about you."_

_Her hands instantly flew up stopping him from continuing. "Please don't lie to me, Derek. Honestly, it's not going to make me feel better. I was a Meredith substitute. I know that. Hell, everyone knew that the second we walked into prom. But I don't need.. I don't want to hear you lie to me about it. It only makes me realize just how much I'm losing for NOTHING!"_

_"Mika.."_

_"I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!" The anger raised in her voice once again as she stood to her feet._

_"Just because I don't love you doesn't mean that I didn't care about you!" He fought to keep his voice level. It was still early, and the last thing he wanted was to wake up her neighbors. "I did! I do! It's just.."_

_"Different?" She sighed, leaning against the railing of her porch several feet away from the swing. "I heard about you and Meredith. I even thought about not calling you at all. I just.. I wanted to say goodbye."_

_Derek frowned as he looked down at his hands trying to find the words, but simultaneously knowing that there weren't any. "So, I guess this is goodbye, huh?" He stood up slowly before walking towards her, opening his arms to invite a hug._

_She was hesitant to fall into his arms, mostly because it would be entirely too easy for her to want one last time with him. She wasn't even really friends with Meredith, but she liked her enough to not want to hurt her. Not that she had a chance in hell with him now anyway. "You're a good guy, Derek." She smiled sadly at him before wrapping her arms around his neck tightly._

_"I'm gonna miss ya, Michaela." Derek whispered softly into her ear._

_"You should probably go." She pulled away and made her way to her front door. "I got a lot of packing to do. A mover is coming at three to pack everything in a truck to drive there."_

_"Don't be a stranger." Derek called out once she'd almost closed the door behind her._

_"I don't know Derek, you never know how many guys in Arizona I'm gonna meet who are tragically up on a lifelong best friend, and waste my time till she figures how amazing he is."_

_Derek couldn't help but chuckle at her. "Only you, Michaela." He grinned as he stepped down the stairs. "Call me if you need anything. Alright? I'll.. I'll figure something out."_

_She simply nodded before shutting the door, and watched out the window as he walked away. "Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay." She repeated to herself several times before bouncing softly off the door, and making her way through the empty house to her room._

_**Ok. I know this isn't what you guys wanted to read, but it needed to happen. Once again, the second part of the update will have Ellis in it. I already got part of it written. Anyways. Please review! I'm hoping it'll inspire me! I can't figure out how it needs to go!**_


	19. FtS 2!

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay. Like I said, I was gone all last week. So this is the 2nd part to feel the silence! Don't give up on me! **

**And if we feel the silence  
Holding this all inside us  
Looking for something more to say  
I don't know where I'm going  
Only know where I been  
But you move through my soul like a hurricane wind**

"Meredith?" Ellis's voice rang through the house, and Meredith panicked. Her friends weren't there yet, and it was time to meet the boyfriend. How weird was it that her mom had a boyfriend!

"Coming!" She called out as she dragged herself out of bed, and out of her room. In a matter of moments, Meredith found her mother standing in the kitchen with a tall man that already had hints of gray speckled in his hair.

"Meredith. I'd like you to meet someone. This is Richard Webber. Richard, this is my daughter, Meredith." The man turned around with a warm smile on his face to look at Meredith.

"Meredith. I've heard so much about you." Meredith had to hold back the laugh forming in her throat. He couldn't possibly have heard too much. "Ellis told me you were going to University of Georgia. Are you excited?"

"Yeah, I am actually. One of my friends is going with me, too. He'll actually be here soon." She smiled. Despite her best efforts, it was rather hard to hate the guy. He seemed sincere. "So you work with my mom?"

"Well.." He let out a soft chuckle as he ran his hand over his head. "Sorta. I live in Seattle. I work with her when I come down."

"Seattle? That's .. wow." Meredith stumbled with her words, wondering how her mother made sure to keep in contact with a man who lived on the far corner of the other side of the country, but not with her who was only a couple hours away.

Just then, there a loud creaking of the door, and a slight rumble as Meredith's name rang through the house.

"In the kitchen, guys. My mom is here." She prepared them the best she could as she smiled at Ellis and Richard.

Derek was the first of the three to enter the kitchen, and he was already carrying a guilt ridden expression. Even though he knew she was probably really angry with him, he wrapped his arms around her anyway before turning around to the adults. "Ms. Grey. Nice to see you again."

Ellis simply rolled her eyes as she eyed the boy's hold on her daughter before turning around to find that Mark had a similar hold on Addison. "What? Do you guys just switch boyfriends now too?"

Meredith's face paled to a ghostly white at her mother's comment, and even though she tried her hardest, she couldn't bring herself to laugh, or to even meet Derek's questioning gaze, or Addison's for that matter.

Mark's eyes bulged slightly. He knew it was too good to be true that she wouldn't remember him, but he didn't expect her to comment about it.

Ellis didn't seem to even notice the uneasiness in the air, because she continued to chuckle at herself as she turned to Richard. "You will not believe this story, Richard. So last time I came home..."

"Mom!" Meredith quickly found her voice, cutting the story off from her mother's lips. "How about we start lunch, and you two can go.. rest? I'm sure you're tired from the long drive."

**We've been so lost for so long  
I don't know how to get back again  
And we're drowning in the water  
That flows under this bridge  
When you're fighting the current  
You forget how to live  
And I wanted to reach you but I don't know where to begin  
And you remain  
A promise unfulfilled until today**

As soon as Ellis and Richard leave the room, Derek's arms fall from Meredith's waist, and Addison steps out of Mark's grasp. Mark and Meredith exchanged glances, each telling the other to feel free to explain at any moment.

"One of you better start talking, and I mean like yesterday" Addi snapped once she realized that neither of them were going to talk until pressed.

Her demands were only met by silence. Mostly because both of them knew that even though it meant nothing to them, it would be a big deal to Addison and Derek.

"Well.." Meredith finally began but was quickly cut off by Derek's cellphone going off.

"You should probably answer that." Mark suggested, actually thankful for whoever it was that saved his ass, atleast from Derek, he realized as Addison's glare intensified on him.

"Damnit." Derek muttered as he glanced between Mark and Meredith. "I'll be right back."

"Who was that?" Meredith asked, completely forgetting about what they were talking about before his phone started ringing.

"He never told us." Mark shrugged his shoulders as his eyes followed his best friend into the living room.

"How many times has it happened?" Meredith began to get on the defensive, even though it was really secret that had the group worked up anyway.

"Better yet, you guys can tell me what the hell your mom was talking about!" Addison quipped, refusing to let the issue go untouched.

Meredith eyes traveled to the living room one last time for signs of Derek before she finally rested her gaze on Addison. "Addi.. It was nothing."

"Then how the hell does your MOTHER know something that I don't! She's NEVER here! You're hair stylist is here more than your mother, Meredith!"

"You're hair stylist comes to your house?! Seriously?" Mark laughed, and quickly received an angry glare from Meredith, causing him to shut up. "Or not. Ya know. Whatever." He mumbled, deciding to walk into the living room for Derek.

**And if we feel the silence  
Holding this all inside  
Everything means more now than  
Words could explain  
And if we feel the silence  
Leaving this all behind us  
When it's gone what will you say**

Meredith wordlessly followed Mark into the living room, preparing herself for the backlash of this confession. Hoping that it wouldn't be as bad as she was expecting. It's not like she was with Derek! And.. well she didn't know about Addison and Mark. And on top of that, it was ONE time! And it didn't mean anything! It seemed cruel that this was coming back up NOW. She could hear Addison's resemblence to a stomp behind her, and silently hoped that Addison would find it funny, although certain that she wouldn't.

By the time she reached the living room, Derek was stuffing his cellphone into his pocket, and he had a look of utter loss on his face, making her wonder if Mark had already told him. She eyed Mark quickly, but only recieved a shrug of his shoulders. Slowly making her way towards Derek, she offered a faint smile. "What's wrong, Derek?" Her voice was consumed in worry.

Derek finally met her gaze, and shrugged his shoulders. "Huh? Oh. Just a friend. Um. So what was your mom talking about, Mer?" Her eyes were screaming at him not to ask, but that just made him that much more worried about what she would say. Causing the words to roll off his tongue with ease.

Meredith sighed, realizing there was no way out of this. She turned towards Mark who seemed even more at a loss for words than she was. "Last year.." She began but was interrupted by Derek's unexpected movement to the nearby couch. Once he was seated, he nodded his head for her to continue. She frowned at him as she made her way over to him, kneeling down in front of him to take his hands into her own. "Last year, I got in a really big fight with Josh, probably one of the biggest ones we had, and you were gone out of town with your parents, and Addi.. Addi was hanging out with her mom. And I was upset. And Mark was upset too, and there was a lot of tequila. And the Notebook. And my mom came in for a surprise visit. Well visit is used loosely because she was gone before I woke up the next morning. But .. what I'm trying to say is that.."

"Her mom walked in on us making out." Mark finally spoke, bracing himself from the sure whirlwind that was coming. He glanced toward Addison, expecting her to be angry, but instead she just looked sad. He hated that this was coming out now, now that they were finally happy- and together. Seemed surreal for this to happen. And more than that, he hated that he knew exactly what she was thinking. He'd let her down- again! "Addi.. I'm so sorry." He whispered but was cut off by her hand.

"My BEST friend, Mark. Seriously? You couldn't stick to the no-names in our school, it had to be Meredith!" A single tear rolled down her cheek before she turned towards Meredith. "And you! You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember! You KNEW how I felt about him! How.. How could you do this to me?" More tears escaped the corners of her eyes before she ran out of the room, ignoring the various calls of her names by Mark and Meredith.

"I.. I gotta go after her." Mark sighed before running out of the room as well, leaving Meredith alone with Derek, who hadn't spoke since the confession, not even a sound.

**How do we hold on  
How do we hold on  
How do we hold on  
How do we hold on  
How do we hold on**

Mark found Addison outside on Meredith's porch, swinging idly as she stared out at Meredith's backyard. The swing was barely moving, and if he had to guess, he would say it was only because of the wind. He was slightly surprised to find that she'd left him room on the swing to sit down, not that he probably couldn't have fit if she would have sat in the middle, she wasn't exactly big boned, but it was still a shock when she'd stationed herself on the far side of the swing. Probably because she knew he'd go after her. He always went after her. He had to.

"Hey babe." He mumbled softly, taking a seat on the swing, but still giving her enough space not to feel cramped, even if they were outside.

"I can't believe you guys kept this from me. I shouldn't even be talking to you right now." Her voice was unbelievably steady considering she had steady flow of tears on both sides of her nose.

"You have to know it didn't mean anything, Addi. It was a year ago. If it meant something, it would have happened again." Mark tried to reason with her, already knowing that she would pretend to forgive him whether she really did or not. He wished she would really, but it took time for Addison to do that.

"Why should I believe you?" She finally turned towards him, anger blazing in her eyes.

"Because I love you, Addi! I wouldn't lie to you about something like that! I've NEVER lied to you about other girls. Ever!" She knew it was the truth, in fact, he'd been brutally honest sometimes. Sometimes she wished he did lie to her. But he was right, he hadn't. It didn't stop it from hurting though.

"She's Meredith, Mark! My Meredith! My best friend in the entire world! The closest thing I'll ever have to a sister! And you.. you got drunk and made out with her! When she had a boyfriend!" As soon as the words left her mouth, her face fell into her hands, her shoulders hunching over to brace herself for a sob.

"I never meant to hurt you. Or Derek for that matter. It was just stupid, and we made a promise to never talk about it again. We knew as soon as it happened that it was a dumb idea. I'm just. I'm sorry!" Mark sighed, carefully wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm so sorry Addi." He repeated the sentiment, hoping that she would believe him.

"I know." Addi sighed, laying her head on his shoulder. "I know you're sorry." She frowned, a part of her thankful that it was year ago and not recently. She wasn't sure she could have handled that.

"Wanna go home?" He asked, hopeful that she would say yes. He knew they were suppose to stay for lunch with Ellis, but he wasn't really sure how much worse things could get without Addi and Derek killing him. Not that he had any more secrets that Ellis could reveal, but he certainly didn't want to take any chances.

Addison quickly nodded her head. She didn't want to face Meredith yet, she couldn't. Turning her head, she offered his cheek a small kiss before standing up, extending her hand. "Let's go home." It was still weird calling his house home, but she was surprised by how quickly she was warming up to the idea.

**You lie awake at night  
With blue eyes that never cry**

When the other two entered the room to tell them they were leaving, the other two had yet to move. It didn't even look as if they'd spoken. Mark and Addison exchanged looks before walking further into the room to get their attention, since neither of them even looked their way when they made a rather loud entrance.

"We're gonna go." Mark stated, his eyes darting to random objects in the room, too afraid to meet Derek's gaze. He knew Derek was going to take it worse than anyone, which is why he never wanted him to know.

Meredith finally looked up at him, and offered a faint smile. "Alright. Bye you two." She dared to glance towards Addison, but she wouldn't meet her gaze, so she quickly gave up, and stood up from her kneeling position in front of Derek and walked over to the other two.

"Addi.." She whispered faintly, grabbing onto Addison's free hand, that Mark didn't have a grasp on, forcing her to look at her. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you."

Addison simply nodded before removing her hand from Meredith's grasp.She squeezed Mark's hand, informing him that she was more than ready to go.

"Bye Mer." Mark frowned before leading Addison out of the house, once again leaving Meredith with Derek.

"You cheated on Josh." Derek finally broke the consuming silence between them, without even bothing to offer her a glance. "You cheated on your boyfriend with Mark." He continued as if trying to rationalize what happened. "You had a nervous breakdown after you broke up because he was with another girl, but you were with other guys when you were with him!"

"Derek.." Meredith's voice came out raspy and broken, but she refused to cry. He had no reason to be upset, except for the fact that she didn't tell him, but she didn't think he really would have wanted to know anyway. He wasn't going to make her feel worse than she already did about it. "It was a drunken mistake, you will NOT make me the bad guy here! You were off probably screwing Michaela! Apparently you like her much more than me, you have no problem sleeping with her!" Her words came out much angrier than she expected, but they weren't exactly lies.

"And you wonder why he cheated on you all of the time." As soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes bulged open. He hadn't meant to say it. It was just Michaela was a sore subject at the moment, and one that Meredith had no right to throw in his face. Before he could even apologize her palm made contact with his cheek, leaving a pink imprint for a reminder.

"Screw you!" She yelled, no longer caring that her mother and her boyfriend were in the house, and probably could hear everything she was saying. "How dare you! You know NOTHING about my relationship with Josh. How could you? You wouldn't even talk to him!"

"I knew enough to know that he was sleeping with someone for the last two months you were together." He immediately felt another sting on his other cheek, this one leaving an even worse burning sensation than the last.

"Get the hell out of my house, NOW." Meredith turned away from him so he couldn't see the tears welling in her eyes. She couldn't believe he'd said those things. Derek. Her Derek. The guy that supposedly loved her.

"I have to go, anyway." He quickly stood up, walking out the opposite direction of Meredith.

"Have fun with Michaela! After all, that's what you do when things don't go your way!" She called out after him before stomping into the kitchen. Sandwiches for lunch it was.

**Feel the Silence, Goo Goo Dolls**

**Ok. So I know this isn't what you guys were wanting at all, but it needed to happen. Hang in there:) Please review if you haven't given up on this story! **


	20. Best Deceptions

**Hey guys! I got this one out pretty fast. Right? I hope so! In comparison, anyway. This chapter didn't come out as planned, but then again I didn't really know what I wanted to happen, I just knew that it needed to happen- a form of this conversation. It surprised me a lot, if that makes any sense. But all I can say is, keep the faith! Meredith is Addison's BEST friend, and she (Addi) really loves Mark. That's all I can say! Advance apology for the cliff, just wanted to get this chapter out! This story only has 3, possibly 4, chapters left! Song is Best Deceptions by Dashboard Confessional.  
**

**_  
_**

**_We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came  
With nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to_**

**I heard about your trip.  
I heard about your souvenirs.  
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,  
And the cool guys that you spent them with.  
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.  
I guess I should have heard of them from you.**

Needless to say, the lunch was incredibly awkward for Meredith, she kept hoping that someone would come save her from it, even Derek at some point. But they didn't, so she sat for what seemed like hours listening to Richard and Ellis talking rather animately about one surgery or another. Too bad Meredith knew nothing, nor cared to, about surgery. She heard enough about it from Derek without having to listen to her mother. She had a feeling as soon as Derek made it to med school, her mother would become his idol, and that frightened her. That is, if she was still speaking to him.

To Meredith's surprise, her mother and Richard stayed at the house the remainder of the week. Leaving Meredith to wear flannel pajama pants and big band t-shirts in nearly scorching weather. Not that she felt the guy was a perv, he was just a stranger to her, and she had no initiative to trust that he wasn't. After all, he had to be pretty strange to give her mother those kind of looks. The looks that probably made her mother swoon, if that was possible. Her mother insisted that she stay at the house to entertain their guest, as if he was really there to spend time with her!

It was Saturday morning, seven days since she'd seen any of her friends. Her mother had stayed home for seven entire days. She'd never made it home for birthdays or Christmas, or even her graduation, but she managed to get away an entire week for Richard. Coincident? She doubted it. She missed them. Mark was the only person she'd even talked to since the confession. She'd wanted so bad to call Addi, but Mark had convinced her to give her some more time. She tired of time, she was running out of time. She'd never see her if she got a job, if she was still getting a job. She didn't even know if her best friend was getting a job. And Derek. She was still too angry to call him, and apparently so was he. She didn't even know if they were still together, or if she wanted to be. He'd been cruel. Yes, she'd made a mistake, but they all knew that Josh had been a whore their entire relationship. How dare he insist that she DESERVED it! Had he cheated on her too? Already? Surely, he wouldn't do that. Would he? And if he had, who was it with? Her money was on Michaela. Then again, he could easily have others she didn't know about. She didn't know too much about his life outside of them at all. That was a pretty scary thought as well.

She'd been lying on her bed for over an hour when her phone started ringing. She lazily reached over for it, it wasn't a special ring tone, so it couldn't be too important.

_J baby_

Ugh. She really needed to change that. Why was Josh calling her anyway? On his house phone no less?

"Hi." She answered, not sure how to even react, or why she answered at all. It's not as if she had some sort of obligation to him. Then again, she was lonely.

"Hey M baby.." Ugh. There it is again. She now remembered why she didn't want Derek to call her baby.

"What do you want?" Her voice was even more bitter than she'd expected, and she'd be lying if she tried to say it didn't make her proud. He deserved every ounce of agony he felt. Probably a lot more.

**Don't you see, don't you see, that the charade is over?  
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.  
So kiss me hard 'cause this will be the last time that I let you.  
You will be back someday and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away.**

"I miss you, baby." The words made Meredith cringe. He wasn't the person she wanted to hear them from. But it did feel nice to hear them, even if they were from Satan's child, himself.

"I bet. Your latest whore realize how big of a jackass you are?" It was pretty easy to see that she no longer cared what he felt about her, and that just made him angry.

"Derek tired of you already too, I see?" The words hit a nerve, and it was all she could do not to cry. She wouldn't give him that benefit, either of them.

"Let's remember who called who here, shall we?" She barked back, choosing to ignore the statement for now.

"That's because I love you, Mer. The way I see it, you should dump the loser, and go to Becca's party with me tonight."

"Why? So you can piss off the only sex slave you have left?" She kept trying to think of how she used to like him so much, but all the reasons failed her the longer she talked to him. Sure, he had his charming moments, but surely they weren't like this all the time. Yet, strangely enough, the conversation seemed vaguely familiar.

"Ho.. Who told you that?" His voice was suddenly much softer, and Meredith suddenly felt queezy.

"I was kidding, but thanks for that. Now I remember why there's no way in hell I'd go to a party with you."

"Baby.." He started but was immediately stopped by Meredith.

"I'm NOT your baby, Josh. I have a boyfriend, and I'm pretty damn sure he wouldn't like it if you were calling me that!" So what if she hadn't talked to him in a week.

"Oh, you mean your little boy toy, Shepherd? The one who was at the movies last night, MIGHTY cozy with that redhead friend of yours."

"You're lying." No. Addison loved Mark. She wouldn't do that.

"Fine Mer, live in denial. It's always worked so well for you, anyway." He sighed, and all she could think about is how badly she wanted to punch him right in that moment.

"Addison wouldn't do that to me." She finalized, she wanted to defend Derek, but her trust in guys had diminished, and so she simply hoped that he wouldn't do that to her as well. And Mark. Mark would be broken, and she wasn't sure she knew how to help him through that. She wasn't sure she could help herself.

**I heard about your regrets.  
I heard that you were feeling sorry.  
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.  
Well I guess I should have heard of that from you.  
I guess I should have heard of that from you.**

"So you say. You have entirely too much faith in those people, Mer. Look at what they did to us! We used to be happy!"

"Ha! Happy? When were we happy, Josh? All I remember is it being two years of hell!" Meredith couldn't believe he'd said that. Sure they had moments that used to make her believe that the hell was worth it, but that notion had disappeared weeks ago.

"Just because I'm not as pathetic and whiny as your loverboy doesn't mean I didn't love you, Mer baby."

"Goodbye Josh." She spat back before ending the call. Love? Did he really just say he loved her? After everything that's happened. It just made her even angrier. Did he really expect her to take him back? That would be.. idiotic.

She tossed her head back on her pillow in a huff. Seriously! And then there was the Derek and Addison part of the conversation. She didn't even know how to begin to process that. He had to be lying, he just wants her to break up with Derek. That's all it was. The easy thing would be to call either of them, but that seemed much harder to do than to think about it.

She couldn't. She was afraid of what they'd tell her. Given she wasn't with Derek when she made out with Mark, they'd still kept it from them.What if they were trying to make them understand? She understood! But cheating made them just as bad as Josh, and she couldn't stomach that again. She wouldn't.

**I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,  
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.Ignoring the phone,  
I'd rather say nothing. I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.  
You're calling too late too late to be gracious you do not warrant long goodbyes.**

The phone rang again, but she didn't even bother to look at it. She knew it was Josh, trying to stir her up even more. Using her thumb, she pushed the ignore button before turning the phone off completely. Anyone worth talking to knew how to find her anyway.

Suddenly exhausted, she closed her eyes, deciding to take a nap. Within moments there was a knock on her door. Not completely sure whether she was up for any conversation at all, she reluctantly opened her eyes, glancing towards the door. "Who is it?" She called out, the intrusion easily noticeable on her voice.

"It's Addison." The name came out softly to a point she had to question whether or not she heard her right.

"It's unlocked." She matched her pitch, as she sat up in the bed. Praying that this wasn't a guilty confession. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

The door opened slowly to reveal Addison in a pair of khaki shorts, and a black tank top. "Hey Mer." She greeted her with a faint smile that Meredith quickly countered.

"Hey Addi. Long time no see."

**Once again, very sorry about the cliff. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up this weekend. Hopefully!! If not, some time in the next week! **


	21. How To Save A Life

**Hey guys! So I know it isn't exactly still the weekend! But it's Monday! Pretty close right? I think you guys will be much happier with this chapter then the last couple ones. At least I hope. Enjoy!**_**  
**_

_**Never waste another day  
Wondering what you threw away  
Holding me, holding you  
I don't want to, if you don't want to**_

_Suddenly exhausted, she closed her eyes, deciding to take a nap. Within moments there was a knock on her door. Not completely sure whether she was up for any conversation at all, she reluctantly opened her eyes, glancing towards the door. "Who is it?" She called out, the intrusion easily noticeable on her voice._

_"It's Addison." The name came out softly to a point she had to question whether or not she heard her right._

_"It's unlocked." She matched her pitch, as she sat up in the bed. Praying that this wasn't a guilty confession. She wasn't sure she could handle that._

_The door opened slowly to reveal Addison in a pair of khaki shorts, and a black tank top. "Hey Mer." She greeted her with a faint smile that Meredith quickly countered._

_"Hey Addi. Long time no see."_

**Step one, you say, "We need to talk."  
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk."  
He smiles politely back at you;  
You stare politely right on through,  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame,  
You begin to wonder why you came.**

The room fell silent as Addison never strayed from the confines of the doorway. Meredith wanted to shake off the uneasiness between them, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out how to do that.

"I don't bite." She finally managed to get out, and received an appropriate laugh before Addison finally stepped out from the doorway, closing the door behind her, before slipping into the bed beside Meredith.

Both on their sides, facing each other, neither could think of anything to say. There was so much to say, but no words to say them. Words had completely failed them.

**Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life.**

"Yeah. I.. I'm not completely sure why I'm here now. I just.. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I hung out with Derek last night, and he told me about what happened. And then he told me he hadn't talked to you, and I know your mom has been here, and.."

"Addi.." Meredith smiled at the familiar rambling that she was certain she'd gotten from her. "It's okay. I'm okay." She chose to ignore the Derek comment for the time being untill she was on steady ground again. If she could pull it off, forever. She'd decided there were just somethings she didn't want to know. "Are... are we okay?" The words fell off her tongue before she could stop them, leaving her to do the only thing she could, hope the answer was yes.

"We will be." Addi smiled faintly before falling back onto her back. "In the meantime, we should talk about this thing with Derek." Her eyes drifted to the ceiling as she recalled the rather miserable conversation she'd had with him over dinner the night before after the movie.

"Is.. Is he okay?" Her voice never quite reached above a whisper as her eyes stayed tuned into Addison's features, looking for a sign of what was to come. She found none.

**Let him know that you know best,  
'Cause after all, you do know best.  
Try to slip past his defence  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong,  
Things you told him all along  
Pray to God he hears you,  
And pray to God he hears you.**

Derek had been lying on his bed for a good half hour. His mother kept asking him why Meredith wasn't coming to dinner that night, and he didn't know what to tell her. So, he just laid there, staring at the ceiling. Thinking of another reason why she couldn't come, besides the truth and besides she's with Addi, his excuse last week. So, when there was a knock on the door, he didn't even bother to answer, expecting his mother to ask him once again. He was vaguely surprised when the door opened anyway, until he saw Mark standing in his doorway. Not exactly who he wanted to see at the moment.

"Hey Derek.." Mark greeted him in a soft voice, hoping that Derek would return it. He didn't feel like getting yelled at, even if he probably deserved it. Whether he liked to admit it or not, Derek had every right to yell at him.

"What do you want?" Derek's voice was laced with anger, causing Mark to stay in his spot against the closed door, instead of making his way closer.

"I just... I wanted to make sure you were okay. Sorry for caring!" Mark growled, quickly turning around to grasp the doorknob.

"Oh NOW you care about me? How convenient!" Derek quipped back, rolling his eyes.

"My god, Derek! It was a year ago, and we were wasted! You have to get over it! You know it wasn't like I set out to hurt you!" Mark turned back to face him, quickly getting angry.

"You knew how much I cared about her, though. You knew! You've always known! I would NEVER go after Addison." Derek sighed, not wanting to have this conversation anymore.

"There's nothing I can say except that I'M SORRY!" Mark glared at him as his hands balled into a fist as the thought of Derek and Addison together radiated through his mind. "But you need to get over it, before you lose her!"

For the first time since Mark arrived, Derek lifted his head off the pillow as his eyes narrowed in on him. "I'm not losing her! I just.. I need time!"

**And where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night,  
Had I known how to save a life.**

Addison thought carefully for a moment about the question before answering, wanting to make sure she didn't somehow mess this conversation up. She wasn't about to be the reason something went even more wrong with Derek and Meredith.

"He's..well he.. he misses you." Addison finally decided with a small smile on her face as she watched Meredith's reaction.

"I miss him too." Meredith responded faintly as tears welled up in her eyes. "I've never gone this long without seeing him- ever."

"Maybe you should go see him then." Addison offered, hoping that Meredith wouldn't freak at the suggestion. "You know, there's suppose to be a bad storm tonight."

**As he begins to raise his voice,  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice.  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things:  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same,  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came.**

"Does she know that?" Mark snapped back, hoping that Derek would get a hint. But it was easy to see that Derek was going to be even more stubborn than usual.

"She.. She's already moved on?" Derek's eyes fell along with his head as he concentrated on the comforter above his sheets. Surely, she hadn't moved on. They loved each other. They were going to work it out.

"No, but why shouldn't she? The person that claims to love her the most hasn't talked to her in a week that was probably one of the hardest weeks in her life!" He knew that last part was probably a low blow. But at the moment, he didn't care. Derek needed to wake up- and fast.

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?! YOU THINK I DON'T HATE MYSELF FOR FEELING THIS WAY? I WANT TO BE THERE FOR HER, MARK! I DO! BUT I CAN'T! BECAUSE EVERY TIME I SEE HER, I SEE YOU KISSING HER! AND IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT!"

Mark's eyes fell to the carpet as he leaned against the door. "Derek. You have a choice here. You can either swallow your pride and be with Meredith, who you've been in love with since we were too young to know that love even existed, or you can continue to be a jackass and loose her to some pompous jackass that will never treat her the way you know she should be!"

"What if I can't? What if she doesn't want me anymore? She hasn't called me either!"Derek's anger had quickly fallen down to nothing, and all he was left with was guilt. "She could have come to me. I.. I wouldn't have turned her away."

"You practically told her she deserved to be cheated on, Derek. Her BOYFRIEND told her she deserved to be cheated on. How would that make you feel?" Mark countered, softly, even though it was quite obvious he wasn't going to tolerate an argument over it.

Derek winced at the memory as his hand gently caressed his cheek. She'd slapped him - twice. He still couldn't believe he'd been that cruel! He couldn't even believe he'd told her at all, but much less like that. "I didn't mean it. I.. I'd never cheat on her. I just.. I was angry."

"Then go talk to her, Derek. Before it's too late." Mark sighed, pushing himself off the door just enough to turn around to grab onto the door handle once again.

**Where did I go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**

"What if he doesn't want to see me?" Meredith whimpered softly as the tears that'd been building up fell onto her cheeks.

"Mer, he's your best friend, first and foremost. He wants to see you." Addison was quickly stepping into unfamiliar territory, and she wasn't exactly thrilled that idea at all.

"Promise?" Mer asked, a small smile playing on her lips as she looked at her best friend.

"Promise." She reinforced quickly before pulling Mer into a tight hug. "I've missed you."

"Me too." Meredith grinned as she relished herself in the familiarity. "Oh. And Addison?"

"Hmm?" Addison asked, while pulling away from the hug.

"You're my best friend." Both girls smiled at each other for a moment before Addison dragged herself out of the bed.

"Well, best friend, I have to go meet Mark for lunch. But remember what I said." With a wink in her direction, Addison left the room, leaving Meredith to endlessly debate her options.

**Where did i go wrong?  
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night,  
Had i known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**

"Mark! Wait!" Derek sighed, realizing that if he didn't mend things now, he probably never would. Mark wasn't one to beg. He knew that he wouldn't do it again if his life depended on it.

A small smile crept onto Mark's face, but demolished before he turned around, refusing to get his hopes up. "Yeah?" He nodded his head at Derek, indicating that he was, in fact, listening.

"We're gonna be okay." He stated simply before crashing back into his pillow.

"Of course we will, buddy." Mark grinned before opening the door, leaving Derek to his thoughts, all of which revolve around Meredith.

**So, what's the verdict? **


	22. Want To

**Hey guys! SO Sorry for the delay, but I really wanted the ending to be perfect. So it's been a little annoying. I'm not even sure I warned ya'll that this was wrapping up. But I figured since I've had so many problems updating lately, it would be best to just wrap it up. So since my OCD self can't be happy with anything, you're going to get half and half this update instead of one entirely. Therefore you get two songs. First one is Here In Your Arms by Hellogoodbye and the second one is Come In With The Rain by Taylor Swift. Once again, I'm so sorry for the delay! Ya'll will only have to deal with it for one more chapter! Possibly two if you want an epilogue. (Let me know!) Thanks SO much for everyone who's stuck with me! It means more than you know! Time to stop rambling now? Okay! Enjoy! Part 1 of 2 (3?) of the end!**

**_We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came  
With nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to_  
**

"Hey baby!" Mark grinned as he saw Addison walking towards their table at the local pizzeria.. He'd been early, the conversation with Derek hadn't taken quite as long as he expected, which he was thankful for.

"Hey you." She laughed as she added just a bit of an extra sway in her lips for the last few steps before she fell into his arms.

"I missed you." He grinned, pulling her into his side of the booth.

"Of course you did." She giggled, placing a kiss on his cheek, letting her lips linger just long enough to be teasing before pulling away, focusing her attention on the waiter that was headed their way.

"Evil." Mark muttered with a smirk as he wrapped his arm around her waist. That waiter just didn't seem to get the hint that she was on a date with her BOYFRIEND! He was smiling at her! Like she liked him! She didn't like him! Did she? Definitely not!

"What can I get for you two, today?" Michael, the waiter, asked once he'd made it to the table.

Addi glanced at Mark quickly with a shy smile, hoping that he was going to get a cheese pizza. Extra cheese even. Her mouth watered at just the thought.

Mark chuckled softly as he watched her nibble on her lower lip in anticipation. Like there was a chance that they'd get anything else! "Large pizza. Extra cheese." He tried his best to hold in his laugh as an audible sigh of relief escaped Addison's lips.

After eaching ordering a bottle of water, the waiter left the table, looking a little disappointed, Mark thought amused. "He was staring!" Mark pouted as he placed a kiss on her neck right above her collarbone.

"Should I be worried?" Addi grinned, relaxing her body into his hold.

"At you, Addi!" Mark pouted even more at her indifference.

"What? No babe. You got it all wrong." She giggled as she felt his muscles. "Definitely you."

"Mm hmm." Mark grinned despite himself as she placed her head on his shoulder. It was hard to argue when she made no effort to flirt with the guy at all. Not even a flirty smile. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Not enough."

"Let me remind you." He smirked , cupping her face, before pulling her into a kiss.

**i like where we are**

**when we drive in your car**

**i like where we are...here**

**'cause our lips can touch**

**and our cheeks can brush**

**well, our lips can touch...here**

They'd long ago finished their lunch when the rain began to beam down on the windows that they were sitting by, reminding them that they'd been sitting at the poor waiter's table for two hours. After leaving a tip that was a good half of the meal's tab, the two ventured out into the rain. Rushing to Mark's car, deciding to leave her car there until the storm died down, they quickly jumped in, realizing that it was probably wasn't a good idea to go home that was all the way across town.

"We can go to my old house." The words had surprised even her as she strained to look out the window, but it was true. She'd been by there the day before to get her thoughts together, she'd sat on the front porch for a good hour, and not one time did she see signs of life in the house. If anything, she swore she saw some of her and her mother's belongings in it. Maybe the time hadn't passed yet. She wasn't sure. She hadn't even called her mom except to tell her that she was staying with Mark the day they returned. She didn't want to admit that they'd lost.

Mark shrugged off the surprise quickly as he put the car in reverse, backing out of the parking spot, before leaving the lot. He didn't really have a lot of choices in the matter. Her house was by far the closest, and safest bet they had, even if it wasn't technically hers anymore. At this point, shelter was shelter. He silently cursed himself for not leaving sooner, it seemed cruel to make her go back there, but maybe it would be good for her. At least until he had time to figure out how to convince his parents. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the feel of her hand grasping onto his tightly.

"It's okay, Addi." He offered his best reassuring smile before pulling into her neighborhood, hoping that the rain would let up just for a moment until they reach her doorway. Her driveway was a downwards hill, and parking at the bottom wasn't particularly at the top of his best ideas.

"I'm scared." She whispered once they reached the house. She hated that it looked exactly the same. She'd lost the one remaining physical tie to her dad, and NOTHING seemed to change. There should have been some sort of .. something. Yet, the world was just moving on, without her.

"We don't have to stay here, baby." Mark cooed, squeezing her hand gently as he leans over to kiss her forehead. Just as her nerves were starting to calm, she saw a flash of lightening out of the corner of her eyes, and once again, her nerves were shot. Shaking her head no, she offered her bravest smile.

"No. We need to get out of this. It's okay." He smiled proudly at her, and had to fight to hold in his laugh as she let out a shrill sound of terror as the thunder shook the ground several seconds later.

"Come on, babe."

**you are the one  
the one that lies close to me  
whispers "hello, i miss you quite terribly"  
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
there's no place i could be but here in your arms**

The door opened easily, allowing the two to find safety in the home, but the comfort of the home had even been stripped from the air. It was cold and abandoned, and even with the several remainders of their things that her mother probably couldn't move herself, it was empty. There were no pictures on the wall, nothing to show that a family had lived there at all. If anything, it looked like a home of a workaholic that was never home except to sleep, on a good day.

"You okay?" He wrapped his arms around her waist as he placed a small kiss to her shoulder.

"Yeah." She answered faintly as she made her way through the house, no longer stopping to see how much things had changed in her absence until she reached the door of her bedroom. Pausing momentarily, she opened the door to reveal an empty room, with the exception of a sheetless mattress. A soft sob escaped her lips as she faced him to fall into his arms, grasping desperately onto him for strength. "It's all gone." She whispered into his shoulder, as a cold chill ran down her spine.

"We need to get out of these clothes, babe." He sighed as he ran his hands desperately up and down her arms for warmth.

"Marcus Sloan! I sinc-" She was cut off by Mark's finger on her lips as he chuckled at her.

"They are wet, Addi. You'll get sick." A rose colored blush crept onto her cheeks as she nodded her head in understanding. She'd completely forgotten about the storm that'd caused her soaked appearance.

"We don't even have towels." Warm tears fell down her cheeks as she met his gaze. She hated being there now.

"That's alright, we'll manage." He offered his best smile as his hands fell to the hymn of her shirt, waiting for her to raise her arms above her head, which she did rather quickly once another chill ran down her back, causing her to shiver. The rest of her clothes, as well as his, followed, making a big heap onto the floor.

"Why are you blushing?" He laughed as her eyes darted to the floor. "Hate to be the one to put it out there baby, but it's not like I've never seen you naked."

"But you usually don't stare!" She crossed her arms against her chest as she fidgeted with a strand of her hair that was quickly frizzing.

"You're beautiful." He smiled as he pulled her into a tight hug. "Breathtakingly, time stopping, utterly unbelievably beautiful, Addi." She smiled as she pulled away just enough to pull him into a kiss, walking back slowly until they reached the lonely mattress on the other side of the room.

"Addi. .I didn't.." He fumbled on his words as she laid down on the mattress.

"Come here." She smiled coyly at him, leaving no choice but to obey.

**xoxo**

**i could go back to every laugh  
but i dont wanna go there anymore  
and i know all the steps up to your door  
but i dont wanna go there anymore  
talk to the wind  
talk to the sky  
talk to the man with the reasons why  
and let me know what you find**

Meredith hated cleaning. Detested it. Always considered it a waste of her time considering she had so many other things to do. But she'd been cleaning for a good two hours since Addison left, and she didn't see herself stopping anytime soon. She'd surrounded herself by all sorts of cleaning products as she made her way through the kitchen and the living room, and even scrubbed down the hardwood stairwell, and now she was in her room. She swore she'd never seen it so filthy. She had no time to go to Derek's! She had cleaning! And then she had to take a shower to clean herself, she was certain she'd never felt dirtier. She sincerely hoped others didn't find her room, or her house, as disgusting as she did at that moment. No wonder her mother stays gone. She had the rest of the night planned out thoroughly before the first strike of lightening lit up her rather dark room. She bit on her lower lip for a moment in fear with her eyes squeezed shut, scolding herself for wanting to go to Derek's already. She had plans! She'd already promised herself she'd clean her room, and both of the bathrooms, and the dining room! She'd forgotten the dining room! She simply had no time! Her eyes traveled across her room, deciding to strip the sheets off her bed for wash first before scrubbing the stains out of the carpet with the toothbrush her mother had left behind on her hurried departure. If Derek wanted to talk to her, he'd just hae to come to her. No matter how bright the lightening casted on her walls, or how loud the thunder seemed as it shook her house. She was even choosing to ignore the fact that the water was building on the ground more than she ever remembered, the possibility of a flood pushed back as far as possible in her mind. Nope. Tonight she was staying put. She was going to survive it alone.

**ill leave my window open  
cause im too tired tonight  
to call your name  
just know im right here hoping  
that youll come in with the rain  
i could stand up and sing you a song  
but i dont wanna have to go that far  
and i, ive got you down  
i know you by heart  
and you dont even know where i start**

Derek, wanting to be a surgeon, was usually an avid cleaner. He cleaned on a daily basis. He was the guy that stayed after the party over to help pick up everyone else's trash. He wanted things to be neat and orderly, and seemingly untouched. But today, today he life was chaotic, and he felt the need for his room to be the same. It'd started simple enough, he was just looking through his senior scrapbook. Reading the random signatures from people he knew he'd probably never talk to again. He hated when people told him to call them sometime. I mean, if he hadn't called them his entire life, why start now? Really?

Her note was on the very back of the book, on the inside cover. It took nearly the whole page, and considering how small she wrote, that was quite a feat. There wasn't a reason he read it twice really, he'd memorized it word for word the first time he ever read it. But each time made his smile just a bit bigger. Once he was content with the senior one, he went in search of junior, and sophomore, and even freshman year. He thought momentarily of getting all of them, but realized that would take more effort than he cared to put into it. So after about twenty minutes of becoming tazmanian devil in his room, he set himself back down on the bed with the three yearbooks in tow. Utterly commited to reading- and probably memorizing, each word of them. He needed to remember when they were happy, even if they weren't together. He hated that they were both so stubborn, but he'd be damned before he went to her. She'd messed up, and threw Michaela in his face- again! Didn't she know that Michaela didn't even mean half as much as she did to him? Even Michaela knew.

He was on the freshman year by the time the storm picked up enough to break his concentration, the lightening casting a glow onto the opened page where she'd scribbeled a note that barely lasted two lines. Something to the effect that there was no need to harass him to call her because she'd call him everyday anyway. Ha! Apparently not.

**talk to yourself  
talk to the tears  
talk to the man who put you here  
and dont wait for the sky to clear**

By the time Meredith had finished scrubbing the tile floor of her bathroom with the toothbrush, it was round eight o'clock. The storm was raging louder than ever, and she was quickly realizing she was running out of distractions. She'd started cleaning too early, and that didn't make her happy once so ever. Weren't storms suppose to PASS eventually? It'd been HOURS! MANY HOURS! All she had left to clean was the dining room, and whether she was going to admit it or not, there wasn't a whole lot she could do with it. Why couldn't they have a china cabinet? China cabinet could take hours cleaning. But no, her mother had to be the only woman on earth who didn't display china. Stupid stupid surgeons.

Reclasping her hair into a ponytail, Meredith decided that maybe if she just called him. He'd probably tell her not to come over anyway. Right? That way, if something happened, it'd be his fault. Not hers. Picking herself off the floor, she wiped her hands on her ratty shorts. Her cellphone was in her hands in a matter of seconds after entering her room. After hitting the number 2, Meredith's hand hovered over the send button. Did she really want to be rejected? Another strike of lightening lit up her room, and just as quickly the call was in progress.

If he didn't answer, she could say she tried. She hadn't been the stubborn one. Even if she just heard his voice mail, it would make her feel better than nothing. She was sure of it.

**ill leave my window open  
cause im too tired tonight  
to call your name  
just know im right here hoping  
that youll come in with the rain**

Derek had long ago given up on distracting himself. He'd, once again, renounced himself to staring at the ceiling. He'd been staring out the window for a short time, but the storm became even too much for him to handle. Especially considering he didn't know where Meredith was, or if she was okay. He'd picked up his cellphone at least ten times, but had yet to bring himself to even hit a button. He knew he was being an idiot, his mother had even came in asking him if Meredith was coming over, and he hated the fact that he didn't know. He hated that he was forced to say no, and he really REALLY hated the disapproving gaze his mother sent him at the answer. As if it was HIS fault! It wasn't! Well not completely. Right?

Just as he picked up the phone for the twelfth time, even going as far as unlocking it this time, it started vibrating in his hand, She's Everything by Brad Paisley filtering through the air, and instantly a smile fell upon his face. The thoughts that entered his mind immediately afterwards washed it away though. What if she was hurt? What if something really bad happened.

"Baby?" He answered softly, running his hand through his hair, hoping to calm his nerves somehow by calming his hair. It'd never actually worked before, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"Derek." She breathed a sigh of relief at his voice. All of the anger and worry quickly slipped away as the nickname, that she once hated, calmed of her fears.

"You okay, baby?" He sat up on his bed, determined to be ready in a moment if needed.

"I.. I'm scared." She whimpered as the thunder shook her house once again.

"I miss you. Please come over." He spoke breathlessly, knowing the sooner she was in his arms, the better he'd feel.

"Your window unlocked?" She asked nervously, biting on her lower lip.

"Always."

**That's it. Once again, all apologies. Please let me know if you guys want an epilogue with all four of them together? I don't want to do it if you don't want it! **


	23. Here In Your Arms

**As you know, All apologies. This is kind of shorter than I was wanting for the ending, but I think it's just long enough! I hope you guys liked it as much as I did! I'm not sure when the epilogue will be out. But I have tomorrow off so I will definitely work on it! **_  
_

**_Lord, I want to  
I want you_**

It hadn't even been ten minutes when Derek saw her shadow on his walls as she stood on the other side of his window. He sat up on the bed, and smiled as he met her gaze. Even drenched in rain, and chattering teeth, she was breathtaking. He quickly slid out of his bed and made his way to the window, quickly helping her lift it up before helping her climb in.

"Hi." He whispered once she'd closed the window behind her, finally facing him.

"Hi." She wasn't even sure a sound escaped her lips, but she knew she'd tried to speak. He looked different somehow. Not in the obvious way like a haircut, or gruffy from lack of shaving, it was in his eyes. As soon as his hands found her hips, a wave of warmth hit her, and teeth stopped chattering almost immediately. She sent him a grateful smile as her own hands found the curves of his jaw. It would be a fair assumption to say that it'd been days since he shaved as the prickles of his facial hair rubbed against her smooth fingertips. Not that she really noticed as her eyes zoned in on his.

"I'm glad you came." He mumbled as he brought her closer to him using her hips for leverage. The rain outside only seemed to pound on the ground harder, but neither of them even heard the thunder that accompanied it, nor did they see the lightening that was flashing right outside their view.

"Sorry it took so long." She smiled as her hands slid past his jaw and around his neck, bringing her as close as her body could go to him.

**ive watched you so long  
screamed your name  
i dont know what else i can say**

"Not any sorrier than I am." He smiled as his hands ran soft lines across her stomach, teasing her skin just enough to make her want him to continue.

"I'm scared." She whispered as tears built up in the corner of her eyes, instantly breaking his heart.

"It's okay, Mer. You're here, now." He gave his best grin as he leaned into her lips, but pulled away once he realized she turned her cheek.

"You'll.. We'll both be leaving soon, Derek. It's only been a week, and I felt completely lost without you." The first tear of several fell down on her cheek, making a path for the rest to follow.

"We'll make it, Mer." He nodded as he cupped her face, watching as she closed her eyes before leaning in once again, this time capturing her lips in a perfect kiss.

"I love you." She smiled as she felt him pull her her backwards towards his bed.

**but ill leave my window open  
cause im too tired tonight  
for all these games  
just know im right here hoping  
that youll come in with the rain  
i could go back to every laugh  
but i dont wanna go there anymore**

As soon as her head hit the pillows, a soft giggle escaped her lips causing him to stop halfway through pulling off his shirt that was blocking his view. Bringing his arms back down enough just to see her, he sent her a questioning gaze. "What's so funny?"

"Someone's in a hurry." She laughed as she raised her arms to help remove the shirt before pulling him into another kiss.

"Well you know, it's only right that we make up properly." He chuckled as he flowered her neck with butterfly kisses.

"I'm sure you know best." She giggled as the soaked t-shirt was pulled over her head.

He smiled against her stomach as he showered it with attention, pulling away only for a moment to look at her. "You know I'm completely in love with you, right Mer?" He spoke in a much softer and serious tone as he met her gaze, receiving a quick nod.

"I know." She blushed as his eyes traveled across her exposed skin. "You aren't as smooth as you think." She laughs, finally pulling him back down to kiss his lips.

The thunder continued to boom around them, but neither of them heard a sound for the rest of the night, neither even waking up as a blushing mother walked in on them sleeping soundly underneath the covers, clothes discarded into a big heap on the floor in her view.

**_xoxoxoxo_**

**'cause i like where we sleep  
when you sleep next to me  
i like where we sleep...here**

It was morning before Addison woke up again. The storm had passed finally, leaving only the smell of the Georgia rain, one that she loved. Looking over to find that Mark seemed to be still sleeping peacefully, she smiled as she snuggled closer into his arms.

"Morning beautiful." He grinned as he felt her wiggle under his arm. She jumped slightly as she turned towards him before letting out a small laugh.

"I thought you were asleep." She grinned, propping her head up just enough to kiss his cheek.

"And miss a moment with you? Not a chance." He grinned as he tightened his grasp on her waist.

"Alright Cheese ball!" She shook her head in amazement that despite it all, she really was a sucker for them. He just looked so cute when he said them. It wasn't really her fault.

**you are the one  
the one that lies close to me  
whispers "hello, i miss you quite terribly"  
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
there's no place i could be but here in your arms**

"Hey Addi?" His charming smile fell away as he popped himself up on his elbow so that he was towering over her.

"Yeah babe?" She responded, not sure what to expect from it.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something. And well, I don't really think there's a better time than now. Or it could be the absolutely worst time. Timing,ya know, has never been my strong suit. So if it is, you can just tell me. And I'll drop it right then." He rambled untill she placed a finger on his mouth to stop him.

"I'm listening." She grinned, knowing that whatever it was, he had the best of intentions.

"Well, I've been talking to my parents. They haven't given me an answer yet, so I don't know. But I swear somehow I'm going to make it happen. Just might take longer without their help."

"Mark!" She laughed at his nervousness. It took something big to do that to him.

"I.. I'm going to buy this house for you, Addi. If.. I mean.. If you want it. I want you to have it." He grabbed onto her hands, intertwining their fingers as he waited for a response.

"Mark.. I can't let you buy me a house." She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "I can't let you buy me this house."

"But it wouldn't be just for you. It'd be for us. Or at least for your mom until we're finished with school." He smiled, proud that he'd actually that far ahead.

"What if your parents say no?" She asked, hoping he would realize how hard it would be.

"I'll take out a loan." He insisted as he kissed her hand. "This can be ours, Addi."

**our lips can touch...here  
you are the one  
the one that lies close to me  
whispers "hello, i miss you quite terribly"  
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly  
there's no place i could be but here in your arms  
here, here in your arms  
oh, in your arms**

"What if we breakup?" She whispered, not truly wanting to think about that possibility at all. But it was a reasonable question. They were only eighteen.

"We won't." He smiled as he saw her walls falling down.

"How do you know that? We aren't even going to same school!" He was making it incredibly hard for her, and she was running out of excuses, other than her pride.

"Because I love you, and nothing can ever change that. I've loved you my entire existence in this town, Addi, and I'm going to love the entirety of the rest of my life." Tears spilled onto her cheek, but were quickly wiped away by his thumb.

"Only if I can decorate." She mumbled, realizing that she wasn't going to win this battle. Even if she lied and said she didn't want the house, he wouldn't believe her.

"You can decorate every square inch, baby." He grinned, cupping her cheeks to kiss her.

"I don't deserve you." She smiled before pulling him towards her.

"You deserve the world."

**The End!**

** E-penny for your thoughts? Anything you'd like to see in the Epilogue?  
**


	24. My Wish

**I hope that days come easy and moments pass slow,  
and each road leads you where you want to go,  
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,  
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.  
And if one door opens to another door closed,  
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,  
if it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,**

As the morning sun blinded her sight, Meredith was suddenly thankful that she was allowed to walk with her best friends. Unfortunately, she was once again going to be stuck in the front of the auditorium while her friends were clumped together towards the back. As she glanced around her to three favorite people in the entire world, she vaguely wondered what she would do without them. Derek and Addison both transferred to UGA their third year. If someone asked Meredith, she would say it was a lot longer than two years. They'd all survived it though, and that's all that mattered, at least to her.

She was distracted from her thoughts as she felt Derek's arms wrap around her waist, his lips planting a soft kiss on her neck. Blushing slightly, she leaned into him as she glanced over at the other two, who were in a very similar situation. That wasn't exactly uncommon though. They'd never been able to keep their hands off each other. No matter where they were. Even if they were fighting. It was a bit nauseating. "We did it, baby." Derek whispered into her ear, giving her goosebumps all over.

"No thanks to you." She laughed, ever since he'd transferred two years ago, she teased him that he should have done it sooner. In a months time, Mark and Addison would be going back to their hometown. Seventy four miles away from being 3000 miles from Seattle, Washington, where her and Derek were going to medical school. She wasn't sure how he convinced her to go back there with him. But after he switched schools to be with her, she couldn't bring herself to say no. She'd never been that far away from Addison, or Mark for that matter, and she unbelievably scared. Plus it didn't make her feel any better that her mother had moved to Seattle to be closer to Richard. Not that she was under the illusion that she would ever see her mother, but the possibility made her a little squirmish. The only thing that made her feel better was the road trip. They were leaving the next morning for a cross country road trip to California, of course with many many stops in between.

Before she knew it, the headmaster was telling them to be seated, and she reluctantly gave each of them a hug before walking towards the front. Why did she have to be the odd ball out?

Once she'd taken her seat, she glanced to the person beside her, and was overwhelmingly happy that the girl she'd never seen before, with the exception of the rehearsal, looked nothing like Josh. Smiling to herself, she glanced behind and immediately found Derek's eyes. He winked at her before she turned her attention to Addison, who was blushing about something that Mark was whispering into her ear. Offering both of them a wave, she turned back towards the front to try to focus on the speech that was bieng given by their Valedvictorian, who happened to be an English major. Big surprise.

**More then anything, more then anything,  
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it,  
to your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more then you can hold,  
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this, is my wish.**

Later that night, they were at their apartment. They'd already packed everything they needed for the road trip up in the car, and since they'd cut off the cable, they were left with nothing but each other's company.

"This trip is pretty much going to be amazing." Mark grinned as Addison snuggled into his embrace beside him on the long couch, stretching her legs the entire length of the couch.

"Why? You got another secret?" Meredith laughed as she made room for herself on Derek's lap on the recliner.

"Maybe." Addison grinned, subconsciously placing her hand over her stomach in a protective manner, a move that did not go unnoticed by Meredith.

"Remember Derek's freak out last time you two had a secret? I think you should keep that in mind." Meredith giggled, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Not any more than Ms. T's simply amazing story of the night of the storm." Mark bit back quickly, watching in complete amusement as Meredith's cheeks turned scarlet red.

"Are you sure you aren't talking about the realtor who found you the next morning?" Derek chuckled as Addison buried her face into Mark's chest.

"Damn woman wanted to carpet the floor!" Mark smiled fondly at the memory as he ran his fingers through Addi's hair.

"Good thing you bought the house." Derek grinned as he tightened his grasp around Mer's waist.

"Why? Because we didn't have a sex life before they moved out?" Mark quickly received a slap as soon as the words left his mouth from Addison and a loud laugh by the other two. "What? Baby, I'm sorry. But it's true!" He grinned, cupping her face to kiss her lips.

"You're lucky you're so good looking." Addi melted into his embrace until she let herself forget the comment.

"It's alright, baby. I'm sure it wasn't nearly as embarrassing as when we walked in on them at the hotel."

"I hate you, Sloan. You know that, right?" Meredith glared at him as she crossed her arms against her chest. "It was NOT funny!"

"Aw come on babe, you know if it was the other way around, you would STILL be laughing!" Mark reasoned, trying his best to bite back the laugh building in his throat.

"That's not the point!" She pouted.

"I don't know why you guys are laughing, I have very fond memories of that day." Derek grinned, smiling lovingly at Meredith.

"You weren't the one topless!" Meredith glared at him playfully.

"Point taken." He nodded his head, trying his absolute hardest not to show the growing grin on his face.

"I can't believe how long it has been." Addison spoke after a few moments in silence. "We're.. we are adults! You guys are moving all the way across the country!" She pouted, fighting the urge to get up and hug them both- again.

"We'll still come visit. I promise." Meredith grinned, already becoming an expert on how to handle Addison's emotional freak outs, which were becoming much more frequent.

"Well, you better. Your godchild is going need you around!" A gasp consumed the room as all three of them stared at her in disbelief.

Mark was the first one to be able to speak. "You're.. we are.. There's going to be a baby?!"

"Oops." Addison smiled nervously as she glanced down at her stomach before meeting his gaze. "Yeah. There's going to be a baby." She bit on her lower lip nervously as she watched his facial expression stiffen.

Meredith and Derek glanced at each other nervously. Sure, they'd thought maybe she was, but maybe and actually were two completely different things.

"I'm going to be a dad?" Mark spoke much softer as his hand found it's way to her still flat stomach. He watched almost helplessly as she nodded her head.

"Are you okay, babe?" Addison cooed as she ran her fingertips along his jaw and into his hair.

His smile finally came out as he stood up, pulling her with him, before picking her up, and swinging her around in a bear hug. "I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!" He nearly squeeled before the other two in the room stood up to join the celebration.

"Congrats Addi." Mer whispered as she hugged her best friend. "You're going to be an amazing, mom."

"Thanks Mer." Addi smiled as she bit her lower lip nervously, still unsure if she could really do it.

Derek pulled Mark into a manly hug as he let out a small laugh. "There's going to be a Mark Jnr. We should alert the DMV!"

"I WAS 16!" He insisted for 8000th time.

"Aw! It's okay, Sloan." Meredith laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Me and Derek will teach him to drive. Don't fret." She grinned as she patted his back before pulling away. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks Grey. I'm really happy for you too." Meredith's forehead wrinkles as she looked at him, clearly confused.

"Sloan. I'm not pregnant!" She placed her hands on her hips sternly, not at all amused.

"I know." He winked before kissing her forehead. "Who wants some... apple juice?" He grinned before pulling Addison to him for a kiss. "No more drinking for you missy."

**I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,  
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,  
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,  
and you help somebody every chance you get,  
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,  
and you always give more then you take.**

The drive had been even longer than they were expecting. They'd taken three extra days to see random spots on the way, relatively. The sun was about to set as they pulled up to their beach side hotel. Meredith, who'd been asleep for las portion of the drive was woken up the the gentle nudging of Mark, who'd also been stuck in the backseat as her body pillow since Derek was driving.

"5 more minutes." She mumbled as she buried her eyes with the pillow she'd been snuggling with.

"You don't wanna miss this, babe. Believe me." He smiled as she slowly opened her eyes to take in her surroundings.

"We're here?" she grinned as she finally came to a sitting position. "Where's Derek and Addi?" She pouted slightly as she realized they weren't in the car.

"They are... getting everything ready." Mark grinned as he looked out his window towards the beach. He couldn't see them, but he could imagine what the scene would be like.

"Getting what ready? Our rooms?" Meredith frowned in confusion as she looked down at her ratty UGA tank top that she'd bought Freshman year, and a pair of matching cheerleading shorts.

"You'll see. Come on. We have to hurry." Mark smiled as he rached down into the floorboard for her flip flops. "The sand is calling your name."

Meredith wasn't sure what to think of his weird behavior, but she assumed that whatever it was, she had to go to the beach to find out. After lazily running her fingers through her hair, hopefully calming any bed hair she had, Meredith offered him her bravest smile before taking the shoes from him.

"This better be good." She grinned before finally opening the door and slid out.

"Hey Mer.." Mark called out once they reached the paved walk way.

"Yes?" Meredith smiled as she stopped in her tracks to face him.

"In case I've never told you... I'm really glad I've had you around. I'm going to miss you." His cheeks flushed slightly as he pulled her into a tight hug. He didn't know if it was the baby that'd gotten him so emotional or the fact that when this trip was over, his life would never be the same, but either way, he wanted her to know.

"Aw! Sloan! I promise you can't get rid of me. Harassing you just happens to be one of my hobbies. Besides, I'm going to be a Godmother! That baby needs me!" She laughed before finally pulling away. "Just for the record, I wouldn't have survived those two years without you either." She grinned before kissing his cheek.

"I'm holding you to that promise Gr.. Meredith." He chuckled as he shook his head, taking a hold of her hand. "Come on sleepyhead. They're waiting."

"WHAT IS GOING ON!" She gasped as she saw the pathway starting from the stairwell to the shoreline bordered in seashells, leading her straight to Derek. In a moment, Addison was at her side, pulling her into a tight hug, tears already rolling down her cheeks.

"I love you, Mer!" Addi smiled through the tears as she looked at Mark who was smiling at the scene.

"Addi? Why are you crying?" Meredith's brain was going into overdrive, and she had no idea what to think.

"I'm just so happy for you." She laughed as she wiped away her tears.

"Someone better tell me what's going on before I start yelling." She demanded sternly, placing her hands firmly on her hips.

"Just go down there already, cranky pants." Mark grinned, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Everything is fine."

He smiled as he wrapped his arms around Addison's waist, not being able to completely dismiss the thought of how amazing it was going to be when the baby started kicking.

"I'm scared she's going to freak out." Addison admitted as she nibbled on her lower lip nervously, watching Meredith reluctantly making her way down the path to the water, her flip flips in hand.

"He'll calm her down. He's the only one who can." Mark grinned as he kissed Addison's shoulder.

"I know the feeling." Addi melted into his embrace, her hands resting on top of his on her stomach.

"Me too." Mark grinned, burying his face into her neck. "I love you, babe."

**Oh More then anything, Yeah, and more then anything,  
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more then you can hold,  
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,  
Yeah, this, is my wish.**

Derek would of sworn that she'd never walked to slow in her life as she walked towards him. He glanced to the sky that was the perfect blend of pink and orange, and his stomach was turning against the rest of his body in attack. His eyes traveled past her to the other couple, and their rings shined in the glow of the sun. By the time he swallowed the large lump in his throat, she'd finally made it to him.

"Derek? Are you okay?" As soon as she grabbed his hand, his worries quickly dissolved, being replaced by his overwhelming feelings for her.

Smiling at her, he took her other hand, bringing her squarely in front of him. "Now I am."

"What's going on? Why is everyone acting so strange?" She looked around before turning back towards the other two who were still staring at them.

"Relax baby." Derek grinned as he ran soft circles on her strained hands.

"Well if I knew what was going on I could!" she argued, quickly loosing patience.

Derek chuckled as he turned towards the ocean, pulling her into his arms in front of him, taking in the scent of her hair.

"Do you remember when we were seven?" He began,a content smile playing on his lips.

"Vaguely." She laughed at the odd question, waiting for him to continue.

"We were seven years old, sitting on those old ratty swings in the old park, and we were watching this couple that was sitting on a nearby bench. They weren't even being all that affectionate, just holding hands, snuggling just enough to block the cool breeze. And we turned to each other, and scrunched up our noses and started laughing because even though we were holding hands, we just thought it was so weird that they were."

"You remember that?" she turned her head just enough to meet his gaze sideways. She shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. She'd nearly forgotten about it. In fact, she didn't remember the couple as much as the way his hands fit perfectly with hers, even so young, she knew that she'd never meet anyone else that did.

"How could I forget?" He chuckled as the tide rolled in, crashing against his feet causing chill bumps to cover his legs. He watched as just smiled in content as her toe was quietly, as if it had a mind of its own, writing their initials in the sand, even though the waves kept washing it away, it continued to work. "And then when we were thirteen, we were watching some show on TV. And we decided that right then that if we weren't married by the time we were 32, we would get married, even if we had our own rooms."

Meredith's stomach began knotting once she realized where this was going. She was NOT 32! She was barely 22! "Derek..." she began, but was cut off by Derek turning her around to face him, no longer being able to stare at the clear blue water.

"Of course then, I didn't know that we'd be standing here right now. I didn't think I'd ever be able to hold you in my amrs without wondering how long was appropriate before letting go. I didn't know that Mark and Addi were going to get married when they were 20 years old. And I never thought I'd want to settle down this young. But baby, I do. I want everything and more, and I don't want them with anyone in the entire world but you. You're my everything, Mer. My best friend, my love, my dream, my soul mate. You're it for me."

He smiled as she wiped the tears away before getting down on not one, but both of his knees, his lower legs being completely submerged by water from the high tide. "Marry me, Mer. I swear you won't ever regret it."

He watched as she glanced away, up towards the walk way where he was sure Addison and Mark were both standing, watching him completely and utterly submit himself to the will of Meredith. A soft smile crossed her lips before she looked down at the water covering her feet. He was surprised when she suddenly dropped to her knees as well, making a soft splash, causing both of them to laugh as they wiped the water from their faces.

She stared intently in his eyes for a moment before grabbing onto his hands tightly. With a smile on her face, she started to speak. "Luckily for you, I happened to watch a lot of TV when I was younger. And one theme song comes to mind. If you haven't figured it out yet after me agreeing to move to Seattle. If you haven't figured it out yet, Derek. I'm yours. Always." She grinned briefly as she cupped his face before pulling him into a deep kiss.

"That a yes?" he laughed as he finally pulled away for a hair.

"Shut up." She laughed, pushing him onto his back before climbing on top of him and kissing him again.

"You know they are still watching, right?" he laughed as his newly exposed skin adjusted to the water.

"So, let's give them a show to watch." She giggled as she kissed him again, not bothering to stop when she heard the all too familiar squeals and screams of her two best friends. She was going to be married. She wanted to marry him.

**Hey guys! That's all! I'm really glad ya'll stuck with me! I don't think there will be a sequel to this. But I'm so happy that ya'll enjoyed this story! If I ever change my mind, I will post a thing on here. Please let me know if you liked the ending! **

**P.S. I will have another story coming out VERY soon!! Keep a look out in the next week or so. It's called Hidden Truths. **


End file.
